ShawnMendes entered Wattpad.

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<< That's just life. >>

My mother picked me up at the airport, and now we're on our way home.
Us driving through the suburbs of Pickering is reminding me of how we once arrived in Ontario. Hopes and fears in the package and lots of memories. My mother was shattered by divorce, and I'm very sure, that her heart was broken not mattering what my parents may have said about them fighting and not loving each other any more the way they used to. Fact was: they had loved each other.
Moreover we have had a lot of struggle recently in England, - struggle, that we now left, but meanwhile, we left our relatives - mainly my uncle (my mother's brother), too and my grandma stayed in England for example either.
It was not easy. My dad was leaving us and healed himself by finding and founding nearly immediately a new family. They helped him to get over the fact, that he just left his homecountry, his marriage and his daughter. He was able to put the pieces back together.

My mother instead started working a lot, and she was doing her best to be my mum, friend and therefore a good listener and advice-giver all at once. She did a good job.

My dad didn't.

As I told you already, we have no contact anymore since years. I don't think, that he and my mum did talk that often since then. (I mean also: How ridiculous would that phone-call have been?
"Hey, how's my daughter I've not seen and talked to for seven years? Is she still crazy for Justin Bieber and Heath Ledger?"
(Just for the record: I never was crazy about Justin Bieber. But Heath Ledger - well yeah, I mean - have you seen him?! I LOVED his films - especially "Ten things I hate about you." I cried my eyes out when I found out he died several years ago.)

Yeah either way.
You get what I mean. My father does probably still think that I like cats and that I want to be an ice princess one time.)

My mum never used to date a lot - I think, you can count the dates she had on one hand. So it had mostly been her and me.

So therefore and based on all the memories and feelings that are coming up again once we're driving through the streets that are still - or better more than ever - covered with snow, therefore, I'm going through the motions - my mum marrying another man in the near future is something even an almost 22 year old can still struggle with.

It was my mum and me against the whole world, and now this is all gonna change.
Sometimes, I'm feeling like it all started to change a long while ago.
I look at her from the side - she insisted to drive - because - her words - she wanted to get the recently repaired car home in one piece.

"Mum?"

"Yeah Mandy?"

"Are you happy?"

She keeps quiet for a short while, then she says: "I am."

She sounds very confident.

"Mandy?"

"Yeah Mum?"

"Are you happy?"

"I ..."

I think of Amy, Shawn, England, London, my new study-field, my new study-colleagues and developing friend-ships; of how I miss Canada, how I miss my mum; and I think of Shawn again, and I can't prevent a smile. "I'm happy mum, thank's. Honestly, I feel better the last weeks than all the months before - especially because I'm now studying something that feels right for me, you know?."

"I'm so glad to hear that", my mum smiles at me, and then she says - and do I hear there a smirk in her voice?! - "Does it eventually have something to do with a boy with caramel brown eyes and a very nice voice?"

I look at her. "Don't be pathetic."

She grins. "I knew it!"

I act like I want to pull my head against the car window. "Why did I ask at the beginning? Why?"

"Because your you, and Shawn can be happy, to have you." My mum grins brightly. "I'd like to invite him to the wedding by the way."

Ah yeah. The wedding.
I prefer to not say anything anymore - not about Shawn and not about the my-mother-marries-again-thing.

When we're driving like we do - passing nice decorated windows, wooden verandas and a lot of Christmas lights, I'm still thinking about the past, the present and the future.

Somehow, I may be having mixed feelings towards my mum's upcoming marriage, but otherwise, my live-circumstances are changing too - Amy's not anymore a part of my life, Aaliyah's a great friend (probably a better than Amy ever has been), I've met a good guy with Connor, and Shawn is starting to be an important part of my life.

So in his words: "Changing isn't a bad thing. It never was. It's just ... growing up."