Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 222

**HARRYS POV**
Y/n had to stay at the hospital longer than planned as her condition progressively worsened and she got weaker. They kept her there for almost two weeks which was hard on her, because all she wanted was to get home to her house, her surroundings, her safe place. I stayed with her every single night, not leaving her side even once. She cried herself to sleep almost every night and I had to try and calm her down, telling her she'd get to go home soon, but that day seemed like to never come until it finally did and I got to take her home with me as she was stable and that for a few days already as they had to make sure nothing changed.

I was relieved she was at home with us again, but at the same time I was terrified that something would happen. That one morning I'd wake up next to her and she wouldn't. That that what we didn't dare to say or even think would come and take her away from us. I was scared every second of the day, trying to keep my shit together at the same time.

The doctor said chemo and radiation wasn't working like they hoped, that she didn't have long to live anymore as nothing they did helped. I didn't believe it. I didn't want to. This couldn't be happening. This was not our fate. She should live until she'd be old. We just found each other again two years ago. That wasn't enough time...I needed more time with her. I proposed...we were supposed to get married. We wanted to start a family. She was about to put out a new album. They couldn't just take that all away from her. They couldn't. I needed her. I needed her more than anything.

I couldn't believe that the doctors just gave up on her. They wouldn't even try. I didn't accept that. They had to do something. They had to help her. I didn't wanna watch her die in front of my eyes. She needed to live. She was way too young. She had her whole life ahead of her. This couldn't be happening.

Today was finally a good day for her. The side effects of her treatment weren't as bad. She wasn't in pain, she was fully here with her mind, but still, she was incredibly weak.

I went upstairs to check on her, seeing if she was hungry.

I stood in the doorway, watching her for a second as she sat there, writing down into her journal. „Writing a new song?" I wondered, leaning against the doorframe with my arms crossed in front of my chest as I hadn't seen her write in a while.

„Not a song...a letter." She responded.

„A letter? For who?"

She looked up. „A letter for you."

„For me?" I asked surprised. „Can I read it?"

„Not yet." She closed her journal, looking back down.

„When can I read it then?"

She looked up again, eyes wide and took a minute to think. „I don't know yet."

„Will it...will it be soon?" I asked, my voice quieter.

Y/n sighed deeply. „I hope not."

I swallowed thickly and just wanted to scream. I felt like I was choking. I just wanted to hug Y/n, so tight, that nothing would separate us. Not even death.

Instead of asking more about it, I sighed and changed the subject. „Are you...are you hungry?"

She nodded slowly, so I went to help her up before I picked her up, holding her in my arms and walked with her down the stairs.

*

„What about kids?" Y/n asked me all out of a sudden as she laid curled up in my arms on the couch while we were watching a movie.

„What about them, baby?" I wondered.

„I wanna have kids with you. Do you wanna have kids?"

„Of course I do. You should know that, lovie." I smiled. „How many do you want?"

„Two...or three. I wanna have a full house. I want it loud...I wanna have something going on everyday. What do you think?" She looked up at me with her beautiful, shiny eyes.

„I'd love that. We're gonna have the most beautiful family."

„We are." Y/n smiled.

„You're gonna teach them all your baking skills and if we're gonna have girls, you'll show them everything they need in life." I said, picturing it in my head. „They're gonna have beautiful voices just like you. I just hope I'm gonna be a good dad."

„You'll be the best dad, Harry...the greatest. I know that. You were made to be a parent. Our kids will love you so much. They're gonna look just like you. They're gonna have your soft, brown hair and those beautiful curls. They're gonna have your nose that I love so much, that'll move when they talk just like yours. They're gonna have your beautiful, green eyes and I'm sure they're gonna have your personality." She said that made me tear up immediately, some tears falling down my cheeks.

I desperately hoped that all of this would be true and not just dreams of ours. „You're gonna take them to the studio and let them try out everything that looks interesting to them. Someday you're gonna tell them stories about your life, how you made your career, how we met and everything they wanna know. You'll sit at their bed every night, telling them good night stories until they fall asleep. They're gonna love you more than anything." She said with an even bigger smile. „I would love that to be our life. I'm sorry I can't give you that. You deserve to be happy and start a family...I'm sorry I can't make your dreams come true." When she said that, it just cracked my heart into millions of pieces.

„Don't say that, Y/n. Those aren't just dreams. We're gonna have our own family. We're gonna have kids and do all those things."

„Can you promise me that? You never break your promises...so only promise it if you really believe that."

„Y/n look at me." She looked up, tears running down her cheeks. „I promise you we'll have kids and create our own family. I promise...I do, okay?"

She nodded, her lips trembling as she tried to hold back her tears. „Okay." She whispered silently.