Chapter 236

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**YOUR POV**
We spent the next few days kind of getting back into our everyday life here in London. I started rehabilitation just soon after we got back here. Everything was obviously still really exhausting, but I was just happy I would get back to my life soon.

Harry was meanwhile getting a bit more back into his work, writing, doing performances, interviews and all that.

Today he was at the studio already working on new songs he wrote the past months.
I decided to head over there to see him as I didn't have anything important to do at home anyways, so I called one of our drivers and let him take me over there.
As I got there, I walked inside and and took the elevator up to the floor I knew Harry was at and went inside as soon as I got there. I spotted him sitting inside the booth, writing down in his journal.
I made my way inside and leaned against the doorframe, not wanting to scare him.

„Already done with your second album?" I asked him, making him turn around instantly.

He smiled at me and got up to kiss my lips. „Hey, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

„Hi, yeah, I got bored and thought I'd come by. You've been here all day, so I thought later when you're done, we could get some takeout for dinner."

„Yeah sure, sounds good." He nodded.

„So, what are you working on?" I walked past him and sat down where he just sat.

„Just something I've been thinking of doing that I really liked. It's just for fun to see if I'd like to do something similar in the future." He explained, leaning down close to me to open the file. „Wanna listen?" He handed me the headphones.

„I'd love to." I nodded. „But first, this is for you." I grabbed a hair clip out of my bag and gathered his lose curls that were long enough to keep falling into his face to then secure them on top of his head.

He just giggled at that. „Thanks baby."

I then turned back and started to listen to what Harry already recorded, nodding along to his beautiful music.

„What do you think?" He asked me afterwards, sitting down in another chair next to me.

„I think it's great, Haz. You keep making this incredible music. I love it. It sounds amazing already."

„Thank you, angel. It means a lot." He said shyly. „I can tell you miss the studio, huh?"

„Oh yeah I do 100%." I nodded. „I'd love to record again. As I couldn't put my album out as planned, I got to think of some changes I wanna make before I release it."

„Well if you feel strong enough, why don't you just do it? You don't have a release date set so you could just take your time doing it and start slow." Harry suggested.

„That's actually a great idea. I get bored at home anyways so I might consider that."

„We can also record together sometime. I mean now that I'm not in the band anymore, we could finally record that song we wrote together that one night."

„I'd love that. I think we'd be a great team making a song." I smiled at the thought.

„Me too." He returned the smile before his expression changed to serious. „Are you really feeling okay? I don't want you to overdo it."

„I'm not, I'm feeling okay, really. Ever since chemo stopped, I've been feeling better already." I told him.

„That's great, sweetie. I'm glad."

„By the way, can we go get a Christmas tree soon? We still don't have one and I wanna decorate it and the house too before it's too late and it's Christmas." I wondered.

„Yes sure, we can go tomorrow if you like. We can get some decorations for the house too and then decorate everything."

„I'd love that." I nodded. „Thanks, Haz."

„Of course, my love." He leaned in to kiss me.

„Uhm Harry, there's actually something else I wanted to talk to you about."

„What's on your mind, sweetie?" He listened carefully.

„Are we- are we alone here?"

„Yeah, I came here alone. What is it, baby?" He asked softly.

I got up from where I was sat and placed myself on the small couch nearby, Harry following me and sitting down next to me, his arm resting against the backrest as he waited for me to talk.

„So, uhm, you always told me you wanted to have children at some point and still do, right?"

„I do, yeah. I'd love to start a family, you know that already, sweetie."

„Yes I do and obviously as you know, I want that too more than anything...but." I sighed. „I'm just- I don't know if I'll ever be able to get pregnant, Haz." I finally let it out. „I mean, I went through chemotherapy three times in my lifetime and you know the risks that come with that, so I- I just- I don't- I don't know if I can give you that."

„Hey, baby, listen." He grabbed my hand, soothingly running his thumb over the back of it, his voice so soft and gentle. „I know the risks and I know you may not be able to get pregnant, but we don't know that for sure yet, sweetie. If that would be the case though, there are so many other ways and I'm open to everything."

„I just, I thought you may not want to have kids with me if I'm not able to carry them." Tears pooled in my eyes as this topic has been on my mind for a while.

„Y/n no. Come here." He pulled me into his arms. „I wanna have kids with you no matter what. If chemo took away your ability to get pregnant, that's not your fault. To me, the most important thing is having happy and healthy kids with you. If we're gonna have kids and you're able to carry them, we'll go through surrogacy or adoption I'll be over the moon nonetheless. As long as I'm raising them with you, I'll be the happiest man alive." He told me.

„Thank you. I was so scared to talk to you about this." I admitted, holding tight onto his body.

„Sweetheart, you don't ever have to be scared to talk about anything with me." He rubbed my back. „I love you always."

„I love you more." I said and let go of him to wipe my tears away. „What I wanted to ask as well, when do you think you'll be ready and start trying?" I wondered.

„Well, to be honest, I think I'd always be ready as I always planned to have a family even at a young age. With our job there's never really a perfect time for it anyways, but I wanna make sure that you're healthy enough of course. You have to finish recovering from this first and I know you wanna get back to your album and performing first as well. I want you to be ready and not do it out of a favor to me." He told me. „Let's say, you get back to your life first until you feel 100% ready. No stress, no pressure, none of that. Okay?"

„Sounds great to me." I nodded with a smile at how understanding he was. „Thank you for being so understanding, Haz."

„Of course, always." He kissed me again.

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