Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 258

October 2018
**HARRYS POV**
„Y/n?" I gently placed my hand on top of her leg.

„Leave me alone, Harry. I wanna be alone."

Ouch. We just lost our baby and my wife didn't want my company...
I just wanted to help her, to be there for her and to comfort her. To comfort each other.

I sat down on the bed right next to her. „Love, I don't think you should be alone right now-."

„But I do!" She sat back up. „I wanna be alone, I don't wanna see anyone!" She raised her trembling voice.

I pulled her closer to me in my arms, hoping the comfort would calm her down like it usually did. „I don't wanna leave you alone, Y/n. Not after what happened." I said, my voice gentle.

„We lost our baby, Harry! I did! I couldn't keep her safe and now she's gone!" She yelled. „Now leave, Harry! I wanna be alone!"

She pushed herself away from me with force, literally hitting my chest with her hands as she pushed me away.

I didn't say anything as I let go of her, scared to let out a sob, so I just stood up and left the room, going back downstairs where I could finally let my sobs out.
I went to the kitchen and cleaned up the whole mess on the floor, tears streaming down my face while doing so. I cried until my vision got blurry and my eyes burned. I felt so lonely right in this moment.

After I finished cleaning up everything, I sat down on the couch in the dark living room. No lights were on and I didn't even wanna turn them on. I just sat there my tears still streaming down my face.
I immediately wiped them away when I heard our bedroom door open and Y/n walked downstairs.

I didn't move and just watched her approach me and eventually sitting down next to me, not looking at me though.

„We lost our baby..." She said silently, looking down at her lap.

I placed my hand on her back and as soon as she felt my touch, she turned to look at me and fell in my arms.

„I'm sorry, I didn't wanna hurt you..." She sniffled into my chest.

„It's okay, don't worry about it, love." I held her tightly, rocking back and forth with her to try and soothe her.

„Why can't I just be happy for one minute? Why is it always me? You know, right now, I hate my life."

„Y/n...don't say that..." I whisperd silently, rubbing her back.

„It's true, Harry. I can't seem to be happy for a second. I had cancer three fucking times, I had a manager that terrorized me and controlled me. Then you broke your back because of him, you had spinal surgery and such a long recovery. I got drugged and sexually assaulted and just when I think I have my life back on track after having cancer for the third time, I get pregnant and lose my baby. A baby that you and I both always dreamed of. We didn't even know if I could still get pregnant and now she's gone!" Y/n cried into my shirt, gripping tight onto my back. She took a deep breath before she spoke again. „It seems like every single thing I touch has turned into ashes..." She said quietly and I squeezed my eyes shut, because I hated how life was so against her, how she couldn't have a break for once in her life. „It seems like me being happy for longer than a few months...it's not meant to be...and I hate it so much. I hate all of this. I lost my baby girl, I couldn't keep her safe. What kind of mother am I when I can't even keep my baby safe where it's usually in the safest place possible?!"

„Don't ever say you're a bad mother, Y/n. Our baby girl would have had the best mother there is. She would have loved you so much, just as you loved her and still do. The amount of your love alone for her makes you already the best mum." I told her, soothingly running my hand through her hair. „Don't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault. You heard the doctor...it's not your fault...it can happen and unfortunately it happened to you. To us... Even though we're never gonna meet our baby girl, she was already so incredibly loved by us, her parents." I said, a sob leaving my mouth. „And she always will be loved and she'll always be our daughter. Forever."

Y/n broke out in cries again immediately. I pulled her legs up so she'd sit in my lap as she held me tightly and cried into my chest while I desperately tried not to break out into sobs myself or she'd hurt even more.

„This is not fair...my life is not fair..." She cried.

„You're right...it's not fair. I'm so sorry, my love. I'm sorry..."

„Why is it always me?! Why me, Harry?!" Y/n sobbed even more, her nails digging in my back. She was heartbroken, incredibly sad and also mad. I couldn't imagine what she must have been feeling when I was already devastated.

„I don't know, sweetheart...I'm sorry." I said silently, holding her tightly. „I'm here...I'm here and I always will be. You're in so much pain right now, I know...but I'm here for you, always and I'll never leave. I love you."

She just nodded slightly against my chest. „Love you too." She said quietly.

„Let's go upstairs and get some sleep." I let go of her a little and brushed some of her hair out of her face. „It's all been a lot tonight and I think we need to let it sink in and process this for a while." I suggested and she nodded again.

I then picked her up bridal style and made my way upstairs to our bedroom with her in my arms, her arms wrapped around my neck and her head leaning against my chest.
She was absolutely defeated. All her strength left her body. She was nowhere near okay and I had no idea if she ever would be.

As soon as we sat in bed, I pulled her back in my lap, making her lie between my legs and against my chest as she kept crying for what was probably hours. I just held her and tried to soothe her and be there for her.
We stayed like that for a long time until her sobs got smaller and eventually she fell asleep in my arms.