Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 223

**HARRYS POV**
We stayed like that, laying on the couch in each other's arms for a while until it got dark outside. I could tell Y/n didn't have the strength to do anything. Not even stand up. She was too weak.

„I love you Harry." She said out of nowhere, her voice quiet and weak as she closed her eyes.

I panicked, thinking the worst. „Y/n no, open your eyes. Come on. Open those beautiful eyes, sweetie, please!"

She eventually did and smiled a little. „Hey I'm not going anywhere...I'm tired, I just wanna sleep a little bit. I'll wake up again, I promise." She said silently. „You're not gonna lose me just yet." She buried her face deeper into my chest.

Not yet. I felt a stab in my heart when she said that.

„Okay." I whispered silently so that I was able to hold back my sobs that were threatening to come out.
She fell asleep just a few moments later.

„Please do wake up, Y/n. Keep your promise. Don't leave me alone." I whispered, silent tears rolling down my cheeks. „I can't fucking lose you. If you die, I die. There's no me without you, so please just fight a little longer. Just a little." I pleaded, looking up at the ceiling and trying to stop the tears from falling at the thought at a life without Y/n. It was one of those moments I realized how serious all of this was.

Every time Y/n fell asleep, I tensed up, scared she'd never wake up again and that was it. I watched her slow breathing closely until she eventually woke up again. I was on edge every second of the day, so scared and terrified all the time.

*

Days went by and then weeks and as time passed, I got more anxious everyday, knowing that time was running out.
When I thought she couldn't get worse, she did. She didn't look like herself anymore, like my Y/n. She was getting oxygen at home because she couldn't be without it anymore. Every time I looked at her, remembering how she was exactly a year ago, I broke down crying. Everything was taken away from us...from her.

There was a day mid August that she called me to her side as she was lying in bed, wanting to talk to me. I sat down on the edge of the bed next to her when she slid her hand in mine.

„This is gonna be hard now, H." She said silently and I think I knew what was coming in that moment. „I'm barely holding on, Harry...I can feel it coming...soon, sooner than we both thought and I think you can see it too. It's coming and it's eating the life out of me. It's so hard to keep going, to have faith, to fight...my strength is long gone, my power is out." She said, looking into my eyes, but I couldn't bare looking at her when my eyes instantly filled with tears at what she said.

„It won't be long now, Harry...I just want you to listen to me and know that I'm so proud of you and all you've ever achieved in life. You've come so far and you have to be proud of that. It hurts me that I can't be there for your next big steps, all your future accomplishments, but know that no matter what, you'll reach the stars. All I ever wanted was to grow grey and old with you, but once again fate had other plans for me and I hate that we can't have the happy end we were always meant to have." She said, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. „I've had the greatest and most beautiful time and moments with you and a lifetime of memories and I thank you for that...for everything. You've always made me feel so loved, so special...you've always treated me right, like a queen...always. You made me feel safe and protected me from everything, taking care of me when I was sick...You were always by my side. Always. I got everything I could've imagined in this life...you, the love of my life, a loving family and I even got my mother back."

„Please don't do this to me." I sobbed silently. „You can't do this to me and leave me all by myself. I can't do life without you. I won't live without you. Please Y/n..." I cried, my vision getting blurry as my eyes were so full of tears.

„I don't have the strength to argue. Listen to me, Harry. Of course I don't wanna leave you, but life has other plans for me. Believe me, I wanna ring that damn bell, but my fate just won't let me. I got two more chances to live in the past. I got a second chance to spend some more time with you, but it's time soon and I'm so fucking scared. I don't wanna leave you like that. I don't wanna imagine you feeling miserable because I'm gone. It scares me that I don't have any control over this, that I'll be alone without you and leaving you here on your own. I don't want that. I wanna stay with you, make you happy and feel as loved and special as you made me feel throughout our whole lives together. I don't wanna leave you. I don't wanna fucking leave you, but I've been strong for so long..."

„I know you have and I'm so proud of you for that, for fighting and trying to live...but- but this can't be the end...you're the love of my life...you're my everything." More tears fell as I shook my head in disbelief.

„I'm sorry...I'm sorry this is all happening." She whispered silently. „You know, ever since you auditioned on the X-Factor, got into 1D, achieved the impossible in the band and now solo, you never failed to amaze me and make me so incredibly proud...and I want you to keep doing that. You're one of a kind, Harry...don't lose that spark in you. The world needs to see what a beautiful soul you are." She said before she pulled me into a hug and I held her so tight to my chest, hoping this would end, that this nightmare would finally stop.

She pressed her face against my chest and I felt her tears falling on my shirt. „I promise I'll watch over you and protect you the same way you did for me all those years. You will always be my Harry and I will always love you. Thank you for loving me so endlessly."

„I love you, Y/n. I love you so much...so, so much and I'll never stop." I sniffled, my whole body trembling as I couldn't bare all this anymore after everything she said to me.

„Can you promise me something too?" She asked, still holding onto me.

„Anything." My voice cracked.

„Live." Was all she said.

„Not without you." More tears fell down my cheeks.

„And have kids. Lots of then."

„Y/n..."

„Harry no. I got everything I wanted from this life...you."

„Y/n...please."

„I love you, Harry. You were so good to me, so perfect, but you're gonna have to learn to live without me around.

„Y/n no!" I exclaimed. „Please..." I begged her to keep fighting.

„I'm sorry...I love you so much Harry Edward Styles...my sweet Haz...and I'll always love you."

The pain I felt in my heart was excruciating and at this point unbearable.