Introducing Melody of Love and Pain, an emotional journey of heartbreak and healing. Escape into the harmonies of heartbreak that weave a masterpiece of melodic emotion, bringing you back to the beauty of love.
(THIS BOOK IS BROKEN INTO THREE PARTS)...
"I've been wanting to leave from Wattpad but I feel so bad-Dajah💕
Y/N
Amara was laying beside me asleep in the bed as I laid there watching TV in the dark. "Yo, what's up?" I heard Donnie question me walking brought the threshold of our room. I just looked at him crazy. "Nah don't be surprised" he said turning on the light. "You wake Amara up I swear" I warned watching him drop his duffle bag on the bed then picked up Amara walking out of the room. I turned the lamp that was on the nightstand on my side of the bed on as Donnie walked back into the room.
I looked at the time on my phone reading 2 AM then just looked at him. "What?" I asked. "So you just going to find a problem in everything now?" He asked. "How am I finding a problem in everything that you're doing?" I asked confused. "What happened and how I acted leading up to the fight and after my fault. I take full responsibility for that but now I just feel like you're finding things to be mad at" he explained. "Donnie it's two in the morning, Amara is sleeping" I reminded. "I'm trying to talk to you, you said I needed to communicate right?" Donnie questioned as I just sat there because I definitely said that, but in this case I didn't feel like I was picking at him. I simply just wanted to get off the phone because it's an emotional subject.
"Yes you did" I answered "so what's up? Talk to me" he said as I just sighed to myself getting up from the bed to get some water from the kitchen fridge. "Baby there's nothing wrong" I assured as we walked out of the bedroom. "I seen you crying ON the phone, and you were dismissive with getting OFF of the phone." He reminded. "So what's up?!" He asked once again as I got a bottle of water out of the fridge then turned to face him. "Adonis how did I make you feel like I'm picking at you?" I asked. "Ever since we got back on good terms Y/N sometimes I feel like you give me the cold shoulder when it comes to things like I'm trying to move past what happened and you're stuck in what happened" he started off "like you haven't forgiven me fully with what happened" Donnie added as my face softened.
"And if that's the case maybe we need to go talk to somebody because I don't want to lose you unless this is something that you truly don't want anymore" he expressed as I looked at him. "Y/N what more do you want from me, what do I need to do so you can forgive me?" He asked grabbing my hands as I looked at him lost for words.
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I wasn't doing anything necessarily on purpose it's just I didn't want him leaving me nor Amara especially not right now. He can't leave me right now. The state of mind I was in, I just felt like he couldn't go.
"Donnie you're not the issue" I admitted as I sighed to myself then looked at the ceiling. "Y/N I'm right here" he assured me "I don't want you to leave me" I said. "Baby girl I'm not leaving you" he stressed then just looked at me for a moment. "You're not you know?" He questioned as I scrunched my brows. "What?" I asked. "Last time we got like this you were pregnant" he brought up. "Donnie I'm not pregnant" I assured. "Y/N you need to take a test to make sure" he instructed. "D I'm not pregnant" I reassured him. "I haven't felt the way I feel about you ever with anybody else and-" I started off. "When I lost my mother you were there to comfort me even when I pushed away. We went through what we went through and all it did was make me have a deeper connection to you" I added "we have a child making it even more deep for me and now about to get married" I said and looked at him. "I don't want anything to take you away from me Adonis" I explained.
"Because if you leave what do I do?" I genuinely asked feeling tears fall from my eyes. "And then I feel like I'm about to go fucking crazy With the things that I see on social media surrounding this fight, the things I see surrounding my music career they even started talking about Amara and there's not even a picture of her on the internet" I stressed. "I'm worried about you and this fight, I'm worried Amara and her hearing, My sisters are dragging my name through hell, they sneak embarrassing photos of me almost all the time, niggas is talking about I'm in the Illuminati every five seconds, I'm praying to God feeling like he doesn't hear me.I feel like shit, I mean-" I rambled on and on beginning to cry.
Donnie immediately just wrapped his arms around me "I don't feel like a good mother, I don't even know if I'm going to be a good wife" I added holding onto him as he rubbed my back. "I don't know" I cried a she held onto me tightly. "I got you" he said placing a kiss on my head. Imma stay a couple of days with you and have Rocky train me somewhere closer so I can be with you"Donnie said. "No baby" I started off removing my face from his chest to look up at him. "No Y/N, you aren't okay, and I need to get you a test just in case" Donnie said as I just looked at him. "You talked to your doctor and your therapist about postpartum depression?" Donnie then asked.
"Yeah back at the hospital but I wasn't diagnosed with it" I informed. "Have you talked to them about how you've been feeling or have you been pushing it to the side like with me?" He asked. "I try not to deal with it because I got other things to deal with" I honestly admitted as he sighed. "I told you about tormenting yourself" Donnie said as I nodded. "Whatever help you need I got you because just like you can't lose me I can't lose you either Y/N" he stressed. "And I mean that" he stated as I looked him in his eyes. "I love you so fucking much and I don't need you harming yourself okay?" He asked as I nodded wiping my tears away. "I know you probably thinking I'm bat shit crazy" I joked . "No I'm looking at a stressed, black woman trying to be everything for everybody along with taking on the world" he admitted continuing to look me in my eyes. "We're not doing this in our household, I want you stress free and happy and that's what I want our daughter to see as well" Donnie said as I faintly smiled feeling tears fall from my eyes.
"I'm sorry for giving you a hard time too D, I know I'm not right in some things nor do I react the way I'm supposed too because I'm used to certain bullshit" I apologized. "Don't apologize" he said as I shook my head. "No, You deserve it" I assured with a faint smile. I then felt him bring me back into a hug then kissed my head. "I'm going to find a gas station that's open to get a pregnancy test" Donnie informed. "D, I'm not pregnant" I assured through a small laugh. "I'm going to go get a test" he reassured grabbing his keys as I sighed feeling him kiss my cheek. "You so dramatic" I said. "Mmhm come lock the door, I'll be back" Donnie said as I followed him to the door and locked it once he walked out.
_________
"D" I called out as Donnie was removing his shirt from his body. "I've been taking my pills but what if the test comes back positive?" I asked out of curiosity as he looked over at me. "Then we'll handle it. We're not going to get rid of it" he assured as I did a simple nod. "If you are, do you want it?" He asked. "Of course I'm going too some women aren't able to reproduce and after everything with Amara it's a blessing to still be able to get pregnant" I explained. "But?" He asked "I don't think we're ready for another" I answered. "We were supposed to get married and when we were way further in our careers start the family" I said as he laid across the bed rubbing my ankles as I faintly smiled.
"I just wanted to make sure you weren't pregnant there's a big possibility that you aren't so don't even trip about it" he assured me as he came to my lips and placed a kiss on them. "Thank you for being here with me" I thanked as he smiled. "I'm always going to be here for you" he assured causing me to smile. "I love you" I honestly said. "I love you too" he responded.
"I can't wait til I retire and you get to do your stadium tour" he brought up trying to change the subject. I just laughed. "That's something I would love to do, only selected artist has ever done that" I admitted. "I believe you'll get there and when you do I'll be right there" he assured "and whatever you want regarding that tour, whether it's the stage set up, lights, outfits whatever, I got you" Donnie assured as I smiled. "Thank you" I thanked. Donnie came and laid his head on my keep as I smiled down at him. I then looked form at his hands seeing bruises on his knuckles. "Baby" I softly said grabbing his hand to look at them closer.
"I'm okay" he assured as a smile appeared on my lips. "I know baby. And you're going to win too" I assured him as he looked up at me "how do you know?" He asked as I rubbed his hair in the way his waves were going. "Your more confident, your ego isn't in the way, you're listening to Rocky and doing what you need to do necessary to win" I started off moving my hand from his hair to his chin. "Besides you missed one thing about being a creed" I brought up. "What?" Donnie asked smiling up at me. "We might get knocked down but God bless the people who are in our way when we get back up" I said as he chuckled "It's OVER!" Donnie expressed as I laughed and agreed. "It's done with" I agreed as he smiled.
