my only one (COMPLETED)

chapter 38

Chapter 38:

I had a smile on my face, until I saw some of my old classmates. They’d looked down on me ever since the school had found out I was pregnant.

“Ugh, it’s Hanley and the unfortunate baby.” I heard one of them snigger. “Hey, slut!” another shouted. I just held my head up and attended to Max, who was making adorable noises. Eventually, we got to Jack’s house. I stood outside, and I decided I’d call him instead of knocking. After all, we’d not spoken in a while. 

I rang 4 times, and not once did Jack pick up his phone, or answer any of my texts. This was suspicious. I decided I’d knock on the door, although it was obvious it was me. Was he avoiding me? Most probably, but then, it was Jack Barakat. He never normally would.

After ten minutes of knocking, there was still no answer. I knew that it was just him in the house, because his parents were on holiday, and wouldn’t be back for another four days. He wouldn’t have gone out, so obviously, he wasn’t coming to the door.

Luckily, after being Jack’s best friend for so long, I’d picked up on the fact that he always kept a spare key behind his car tyre, because he was used to forgetting his regular keys. I grabbed it, and unlocked the door.

I put Max in the hallway, and searched around downstairs; Jack was nowhere to be seen. I climbed the stair, and tried to listen out for anything, but there was no sound. I opened the door to his room, and gasped at the sight of him. 

Jack was sat, his back to the doorway, with two packets of tablets, one half empty, and a bottle of vodka, also half empty. He was looking at the window, even though his curtains were shut tight. He hadn’t noticed I was there, and was continuously swallowing tablets, one after another. 

“JACK, NO!” I screamed, realising what he was doing. He was trying to overdose himself. I ran up to him, tears streaming uncontrollably down my face. He stood up, holding both the tablets and the vodka over my head, and swallowed the tablet he already had in his mouth. He began to leak tears as well, and I bawled out at the thought of him dying. 

I’d always dreaded the day that Jack would die. I prayed that he didn’t make that day, today. “Jack, please, put that down! Don’t do this, I’ll kill myself too!”

“I deserve to die! I screwed everything up! My relationship with Ella, Zack’s relationship with you, and if I live any longer, I’ll fuck up your family. Just let me die, Hanley. You’re better off without me, I’m so sorry I fucked up your life.” He cried, his tears dripping from his cheeks to my shoulders.

For a moment, I tried to think of life without Jack. And all I could see was my life spiralling downwards. I’d have no one to talk to if I argued with Alex like I did this morning. No one I could ask for advice. No best friend.

I slapped his face, and he looked at me, attention focused. “Snap out of it! You’re Jack Bassam Barakat. You’re my best friend, always have been, and always will be. I can’t live without you, and neither can my baby.” I whined, my tears soaking the bottom of his t-shirt. 

“You have Alex now! You don’t need me, and the baby has a dad. Hanley, nobody needs me. I’m a failure, a fuck up. Your baby is better off without me.” Hearing this, made me feel weak. He really didn’t see how much he meant to me. 

“Jack, I do need you! If you die, I’ll die inside. I’ll overdose as well, is that what you want?!” Jack looked like he was about to cry. “Of course not! You have the baby to take care of! Me? I have nothing.” He sighed, putting the tablets and alcohol aside. Whether he was drunk or not, I had to talk sense into him.

“You need to help me take care of Max! Sure, I have Alex, but I need a family friend, like you. Max needs a godfather, someone he can turn too if me and Alex fight or something.” I was making dumb excuses, but I needed Jack to see the whole story. Jack took a deep breath, and sat on the floor, looking around the room.

I sat next to him, when I heard Max crying downstairs. I stood up, and Jack looked at me, curiosity in his eyes. “Stay there, I’ll bring him up. Before you decide to kill yourself, please, just say goodbye to Maxie.” I whispered. ‘Not that you’ll actually have the option of suicide.’ I thought to myself.

I took the pills and vodka away from the sideboard, and put them on the kitchen side once I was downstairs. I took Max out of the pram, and he stopped crying, staring at me with his large, brown eyes. You could tell that he was Alex’s son.

I walked into Jack’s room, and Jack stumbled to his feet, staring in fascination. I sat on his bed, and Jack followed. I propped Max up, cradling him in my arms. Jack was staring at him, and a small tear slid down his cheeks. 

“Jack?” He began to turn away, and wiped his eyes. “Sorry… I just..” He took another deep breath, and turned back to the baby and me. “Jack, please don’t kill yourself. You have no idea how much it would hurt me.” I whimpered, tears brewing in my eyes of just the thought.

Jack stayed silent, and looked at the floor. “Do you want to hold him?” I asked, eager that Jack was to bond with him. Maybe then, would Jack see sense in what I was saying. “Erm, okay..” He breathed, unsure whether he trusted himself.

I handed Max over to him, and I saw him smile, slowly. “Jack, please, just promise that you won’t put me or Max through that again. Promise me that you’ll never try to commit suicide like that again. Ever.” A tear escaped at the thought. “I… promise. I like this little guy.” He smiled, and I felt a wave of relief. I smiled, and Jack smiled. Things were definitely looking up for all of us.