my only one (COMPLETED)

chapter 60

Chapter 60:

(3 months later, a few days before the wedding)

I sat staring at the clock, it was 5 am. Thursday morning, the wedding was this Saturday, yet the first thing on my mind was Alex. I was beginning to believe I couldn’t go through with it, but I couldn’t back out now I thought looking over at jack who was sleeping soundly. I bit my lip as my eyes began to water with regret. I hadn’t slept all night. I stood up and picked up my mobile and scrolled through my contacts until I found Alex’s name. Maybe if I see him one last time I’ll be ok, I thought. Before I could change my mind I pressed the dial button. 

To my surprise he answered. ‘Alex’ I whispered in order to not wake jack up. ‘Hanley?’ he said. ‘Sorry, did I wake you?’ I waited for a reply. ‘Alex?’ ‘Is this a dream’ he replied at last, hearing his voice after all this time made my heart flip. ‘No, I was wondering, can I come see you?’ I bit my lip again, if he said no now I don’t know what I’d do. ‘Sure, I’ll come round’ ‘NO’ I raised my voice. I looked over at jack, he rolled over. My heart rate slowed back down. ‘I’ll meet you somewhere?’ I suggested. ‘Well, I’ll pick you up from yours?’ I looked back over at jack, should I really be doing this? ‘Ok’ I whispered and hung up. 

I quickly threw on some clothes and waited for Alex outside. He showed up a few minutes later and I hopped in his car. ‘Drive!’ I said quickly and Alex drove the car away. ‘Sorry, I didn’t wanna wake max…’ I said slowly. ‘You mean jack’ he sighed. ‘…yeah’ I whispered. ‘So, what did you wanna talk to me about?’ Alex said. I didn’t reply, instead I just started at him for a while, I’d missed him so much I felt like crying to his arms. 

Alex realized how I felt and parked the car in a nearby field. ‘Alex, I’m getting married soon’ I finally said. Alex’s eyes immediately filled with tears. ‘Is that it?’ he choked. ‘No, I wanted to tell you that over all this time I haven’t forgotten about you and I still love you’ I whispered. He looked away and wiped his face. ‘Hanley, I love you too’ he leaned over but I backed away. ‘But I care too much about jack, and max to do that to him’ I saw the anger in Alex’s eyes. ‘Hanley, you’re never going to be happy with him, just come back with me, jack never has to know!’ ‘And what? Leave max?!’ I exclaimed. Alex hesitated. 

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to come’ I looked away out the window. ‘It’s ok’ Alex took my hand. ‘If you ever need me, I’ll be there for you, I’m not going anywhere’ he smiled and I smiled back letting a few tears loose. He wiped my tears. I paused and realized what was happening. ‘I should go’ I moved my face from his hand. ‘Yeah’ Alex looked away and started the car. 

Minutes later we where back at my house, although it seemed like forever. ‘Thanks Alex’ I said before stepping out the car. ‘Wait’ He grabbed my hand and pulled me back in. Before I had time to speak he pressed his lips on mine. I slowly backed away and looked into his eyes, he was crying again. ‘I’m sorry’ he snivelled ‘I can’t do this, please don’t go’ he kept tight hold of my hand. ‘Alex’ I looked at him once last time ‘I have to go’ I pulled away and closed the car door shut. I waited for him to finally start the car and drive away. It took a while, he sat staring at me hoping I’d come back, but I shook my head and he drove away. I cried silently for a few seconds then went inside.

Jack and max were both still asleep, as expected since it was only nearly 6 am. I changed back into my Pyjamas and climbed into bed. I lay for a few moments and realized I had to forget about what happened. I rolled over and looked at jack. I couldn’t leave him, I couldn’t. I smiled and snuggled right up to him, trying to forget about Alex.