chapter 52

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Chapter 52:

‘Alex what are you going on about?!’ I shouted back at him and saw everyone in the shop had their eyes on us. ‘Can we take this outside?’ I whispered before Alex could reply. He looked around and realized everyone was looking at us. He silently nodded and I followed him out the shop, Ella trailed behind.

‘Ok, what’s going on?’ I tried to stay calm. ‘Max is Jack’s child isn’t he?’ I could hear the anger in his voice although he was trying to stay calm too. ‘No, where did you hear that!?’ I was completely confused, was Alex trying to pick a fight or something? ‘Ella’ he looked behind me and Ella looked as confused as I did. ‘No, I just-‘ Ella was speaking to quietly for me to notice. ‘You’re gunna believe my old friend who I haven’t spoken to in over 5 years!? That makes so much sense Alex!’ I hissed. Alex didn’t reply.

Jack left Max a fair distance from us all but walked over slowly and looking kind of shocked. ‘Max is my child?’ he choked. ‘No!’ I screamed realizing I may have hurt his feelings a bit. ‘I mean, no, I’m sorry Jack. The test results said Alex is father and he is’ Jack lowered his head and walked back over to Max.

Alex still hadn’t replied and Ella had wondered off, funny how trouble came back with her. ‘Alex?’ i croaked as tears began to form in my eyes. He sighed and looked at me. ‘Hanley, am I father or not?’ he spoke softly. ‘Yes’ I replied. Alex grunted and looked away in disbelief. ‘What do you want me to do!? Take another fucking test!?’ Alex’s eyes lit up. ‘Please?’

‘No!’ I exclaimed. ‘I am not lying and you should believe me’ ‘Should i?’ he cut me off. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘I mean there’s been numerous occasions which has led me to believe I can’t trust you anymore’ I paused. He was right. Why should he trust me? I sighed admitting he was correct. ‘Fine. If it’ll make you happy, I’ll take another test’ Alex gave a quick smile. ‘Thank you’

Jack walked back over and Alex went to say hi to Max. I’d forgotten that Alex is the father of him; it hurt me when I saw Max’s little face smile like I’d never seen before as Alex picked him up and held him in his arms. What kind of mother was I not letting a father and son be together? ‘Hanley’ Jack wiped a few tears from his face.

‘What’s going on?’ I sighed not believing I was about to do this. ‘I’m going to take another test, Alex doesn’t believe he’s the father, so I have to prove it to him’ Jack’s lip trembled slightly. ‘So, I’m not the father?’ I shook my head and Jack let loose a few more tears. ‘Oh well’ he laughed it off. ‘We better get home?’ Jack walked off to get Max.

Alex walked past me as I left. ‘I’ll call you later ok?’ he looked at me. I nodded and Alex wrapped his arms around me. I only just realized how much I’d missed him as I place my hands around his waist. I managed to contain my tears. I looked at Alex once more before he walked away; it looked like he hadn’t been able to hold back his.

(The next day)

I woke up and decided I should make a doctors appointment for this test. Jack was still asleep, he hadn’t spoken to me for the rest of the day, I could tell he was still hurting over it all. I booked an appointment for the next day, I wanted this over as soon as possible. After ringing the hospital I thought I’d best ring Alex to let him know.

‘Hello?’ I spoke as he answered the phone. ‘Hey’ he replied. ‘I made an appointment for tomorrow at 2.30pm ok?’ ‘ok, I’ll be there’ I wanted to carry on the conversation but it was awkward and I didn’t know how. ‘Bye’ he finally said. ‘Bye’ I hung up. I was so confused. I wanted me and Alex to be ok, but If I were him I probably wouldn’t forgive myself. Which left me with Jack, who in all honesty I didn’t want to be with as a couple, he was more of a friend really. Always had been. My best friend.

I collapsed on the couch and cried into the cushions as I looked back at my life. Back when things were simple. When me and Jack would hang out and watch family guy all day, I smiled to myself. Then Zack came along and me and Jack shared a moment. I thought things were bad back then, but they were just the beginning. Then Alex came back into my life, which brought back a lot of feelings. When I first met him and Jack told me he didn’t have feelings for me like i did for him I thought that’d be the end of it. I never thought I’d grow up and have his child. Even if I did think that could happen I never thought I’d be such a whore and cheat on him.

I was disturbed by Max asking for breakfast. I felt sorry for him the most, he was living in a poorly constructed family, I was worried what he’d turn out to be like. I needed to stop thinking about my feelings towards Alex, and more about Max. I know that’s all Alex and Jack want, for Max to be happy. At least we all have that in our minds.

Jack came downstairs shortly after, he seemed to be in a better mood until I mentioned the doctors appointment. He went back to being silent after that. I wish I’d never brought it up. I wish we’d never bumped into Alex and Ella yesterday. This was all Ella’s fault, making up bullshit, making Alex doubt he is the father. I could feel anger building inside of me, but I had to let it go.

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