Chasing Fate- New Beginnings (UNDER EXTREME EDITING)

55 - drink away the pain

The next morning was surely full of chaos. I was running late to signing into my computer for school, Derek was late for work, and the kids would not settle down. "Just go, I can take it from here." He smiled warmly, kissing my cheek.

"I'll be home right after work, expect some coffee on the way!" I laughed and waved him goodbye as he walked down the steps to his car. Inside I was deathly afraid of him driving alone. I didn't know if he would have a random seizure but I knew that if I didn't let him at least try, I'd never know if he could do it on his own.

I slowly shut the door, peeking out the window to make sure he was okay. "Alyssa! Wren! Come get some lunch." I hollered from the kitchen. They scrammed into the kitchen, running in circles around me. "Settle down you two!" They just would not listen. I grabbed Alyssa by the arm, stopping her instantly. I sighed knowing I'd gone too harsh on that note. "Can you please settle down for mom? I've got the worst headache and you aren't helping when you both are screaming.."

"We'll stop." They both said in unison. "Now. What do you want for lunch? Mac N' Cheese, or that fish sand which we had the other night?" Alyssa walked to the fridge, examining the things in there. "What's this?" She pulled out a bottle of Bourbon. I gasped and grabbed it from her, noticing how vulnerable I was to things like that.

But further more, I was confused as to why it was in there in the first place? I didn't drink and-

"It's nothing, just an adult drink." She huffed and looked through the fridge some more. I hoped that Derek hasdn't been drinking on a daily basis. It's bad enough that he has cancer, but adding the alcohol to it doesn't make it any better. Surely, I was going to confront him about it when he returned.

"That's my dads drink, I saw him have some last night." I overheard Wren speaking to Alyssa. I was not happy with what i heard, it almost made me angry, yet I could never be angry at Derek. He only lied, but it didn't change the fact that he promised that he wouldn't drink like that anymore.

"Mac N' Cheese it is." I chose, grabbing the box and slamming it on the stove. They didn't say anything, only ran off and downstairs to the playroom.

Many hours later, I laid down in bed, grabbing my laptop and logging into my class. Surprisingly, I got a lot done, caught up on my missing work, got my grade up instantly, and logged out. By the time I made it to the kitchen again, Derek's car pulled into the driveway. The bottle of Bourbon was sitting on the counter, and I simply walked away into the dark hallway.

The door opened, and he dropped his bag, setting a cup holder of two coffees on the counter. "Shit." He said grabbing the bottle and walking to the garbage at the end of the counter. "I knew you'd try to hide it." He stopped, holding the bottle mere inches from the can, slouching his shoulders and bringing it back to the counter.

"Why?" I said, feeling hurt, betrayed, and defeated. "Caroline-"

"You have cancer," The word tasted like bile in my mouth. "and your drinking? Are you trying to kill yourself?!" He looked at me with complete sorrow. I had no respect from him at the moment, but I vowed to get it out of him, as well as an explanation. "I'm not killing myself. It helps.. calm me down." I scoffed, turning away.

"Calm yourself? Okay.. Let me know how it turns out when you end up on bed rest." I walked down the hall. "Your not even going to hear what I have to say?" I stopped mid step, catching myself. I had been so caught up with my plan, I really didn't hear what he had to say.

"I think I've heard enough." I spat, opening the bedroom door and slamming it shut. Tears chocked at the back of my throat, I couldn't handle thinking about any of it at the moment, so I decided to rest on it, reason with it tomorrow, and hopefully get this situation resolved, the way it should be.