Chasing Fate- New Beginnings (UNDER EXTREME EDITING)

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Alyssa, is now two, growing faster than I had expected. It's been a while since I had actually measured her height. My life has changed, I can't remember the last time I tried to contact Drake.

I did not want anything to do with him anymore, nor did I care where he was. When I found out it was a girl, I was kind of relieved. Relieved for when she is older and goes through all those "girly stages" I would be the one to go throw them with her.

Even when I realized how young I was and that I have a child, but she means a lot to me. I had to talk to my parents about her. They knew I was pregnant, but did not hear from me since I told them. I had to also explain to Bailey, because she doesn't know damn thing. I was missing out on so much. My parents, college..

College is where I could start my career. I realized how late at was for enrollment, but maybe the chancellor could give me a chance? I could apply, go to college with Bailey and start my life with Alyssa, I could.

I woke up a few days later, hearing Alyssa screaming. I better just get used to this now, or ill never reach that lofe long goal of mine. As I walked into her room, I found her sitting right in front of her little secret play room.

I almost walked out on her, remembering all the horrible things. Instead, I walked over to her and picked her up. "Mommy, ow!" I had been so caught up with everything, I just had realized it was her first words in a long time.

"Oh my god! Hey.." I patted her bottom, seeing her still upset.

I did not realize much until I saw she was gesturing towards her toe. It was bleeding, dripping onto the carpet. "Sweetie, what did you do?" I was so angry now, seeing that Drake's dumb playroom injured her. He was just a negative impact I guess.

I walk Alyssa to the computer room, setting her on the ground with a few of her toys. I took a gander around the room, making sure nothing could hurt her.

My legs bring me to the computer, turning it on and logging into my user. I did not know if I should take the risk signing up and getting my classes in. My mind led me to thoughts if I would be able to get in. I was sure I would, I could not be the only one signing up this late.

If I were to sign up after I had Alyssa, I might have been on top of things. Daycare for Alyssa was the last option I would think of. Living on my own in the real world was much harder than I pictured it. I dreamt of going to college for a long time, but things get in the way, whi h is not a bad thing.

Now, I'm actually trying to get back on track. It's gonna be hard but I think I can make a few obstacles along the way.

I type in the classes I want and log out. Pushing the chair away from the computer, I turn to see what Alyssa was up to. She was not there. I got up and ran straight for her room, making sure she was in there. Sure enough, I found her sitting in front of the door to her playroom. Does she wanna go in there that bad? I couldn't bring myself to let her in there, it was too dangerous.

I starred at it for a bit, finally deciding to walk in it with her. She giggles and crawls in it, and I follow in after her. There is shelves hanging on the walls, full of books. Toys in the corner of the room, with just a little four walled room, I'm surprised he could make this a little bit useful.

"Okay, come on let's go have lunch." I say holding my arms out as she crawls towards me. I pick her up and walk into the small kitchen. Making sure she wouldn't pull a stunt like that again, I put her in the high chair. The everyday meals became annoying. It was either grilled cheese, mac 'n cheese, or a salad

We needed a new place, it was time for a full change. Everything reminded me of him and I needed to get away from it all.

I was debating between mac n' cheese, salads, or grilled cheese sandwiches. I decided to go with Mac 'n cheese, so Alyssa could enjoy it as well. When I finished making the soupy macaroni, I put some in a bowl and set it down to feed Alyssa. I couldn't wait to move out any longer, it was better for the both of us.

After feeding her, we made our way to the couch. I set her in her crib, letting her watch TV as I took a nap. I don't even know why he put the crib in the living room anyway. There are a lot of things he did wrong in this house, he was just a discrace now.

I regret a lot of things. I regret falling in love with him. But at the same time I don't regret it because I would have never had Alyssa. If I didn't have her, I wouldn't be as smart as I am now. it's funny how some of your mistakes can turn into the best things in your life. Me getting pregnant was the best expeirence of my life, I mean I gave birth to a human being. A beautiful one. I'm also glad I have her in my life. Early lessons of taking care of a child for me, cause it would have happened anyway.

I ended the night laying her next to me in my bed. She fell asleep right away, which was a plus for me. I thought about the way she played with the toys in the playroom. Now that I let her in once, I wasn't going to let her in again. She doesn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve her father leaving her after everything that Drake and I went through. It wasn't worth him leaving me. I guess he is just a coward I was married to.