He's Mine!!

Chapter54- Beauty & The Beast

After the breakup Pac had been in a serious funk. Didn't want to eat, didn't want to leave his mom's house, didn't want to anything and didn't even bother to keep himself off. Afeni it would be hard but not this hard, she didn't even know what happened in the room. Why they broke up is something she could partially understand. Like any parent she wanted to know but had enough respect for his privacy to wait for him to tell her.

" Boy, you gotta get up." Afeni snapped sitting on the bed. She had to give him tough love but ultimately didn't want to. It was at his own benefit.

" Hmmmm, for whaaaaat?" Pac whined rubbing his face.

" You need to eat, boy." Afeni snapped patting the bed. " You gotta eat something."

" I don't want to eat, I want stay right here. Let me stay here."

" No, just get up so you can at least eat breakfast. I won't bother you anymore after that."

Pac sucked his teeth and sat up then rubbed his face like he was angry. He'd silently been cursing himself as he walked downstairs.

" Because you're in such a funk I didn't know what to make you so I just made smothered pork chops and grits." Afeni said handing him his plate.

Pac nodded his head and quietly began to eat. Afeni just looked at him and knew he had to get it together quick or he was doing to continue a downward spiral. Watching him made her angry sort of speak, he'd let a woman come and go then had the nerve to be sitting around like he'd lost his.... But then again, she understood.

" You want me to get the monsters, you haven't seen them in like two months."

" No!" He snapped. " I don't want to see them."

Hearing him say that threw Afeni off. She turned up around with her face scrunched up and her lip twitching. " What the fuck do you mean you don't want to see your kids?"

" Ma, I don't want them to see me like this." He said softly looking down at his hands. " I can't look at my kids right now."

" And why not?"

" When they come over here it's already going to be awkward as is. At some point in the day one of them is going to ask me why I'm not at home anymore, I can't handle that. How am I going to explain to my kids again that Daddy won't ever be going back home with Mommy?" He asked making Afeni cringe.

" Later on, they're going to have to leave me after I'd enjoyed having them here and I just can't sending them home without going with them. You know how much that feeling of seeing the look in their eyes will get to me?" He asked with his voice beginning to crack.

" I've been doing and thinking things that I'm not proud of and seeing them will only make it worse. I mean I feel like we made the right decision but then again, it doesn't always feel that way."

" Boy, you need to get your shit together and stop mopping around this house. I don't understand how you can do something like this and feel all depressed about it. You love her and want her to have the best and was willing to give up. You don't give up on people you love, you need to work on yourself and so does she but drinking and dragging around here isn't going to help nothing." She shrugged.

" I've never in my life seen a person let themselves go so quickly. You can't do this to yourself and as far as you not wanting to see your kids is the most coward thing I've ever heard you say. If that's the case then you're kids might not ever see you because when their older you're going to have to explain to them why. I just don't understand, you need to stop beating yourself up because you don't know what the future in tells. You'll never find out like this. This ain't right, it's been two months. I feels like you've lost everything but you haven't. Your kids aren't going to love you any less and she's still going to be around. It'll take time to be friends but you two have to co-parent. You and I both know this ain't something that's easy but you gotta try because at the end of the day you're hurting yourself more than your kids."