That One Song

Chapter Fifteen: Living a Dream.

~Lauren's P.O.V~

I lay awake and stared at the ceiling. All of its cracks and specks of dust and dirt that caught my eye. My mind was so full that all I could feel was nothing. All I felt was the numbness that drowned me. I felt heavy, tired and sore.

The sound of birds singing filled my ears as I closed my eyes. They're just living their lives, building nests, looking after their young and finding food. It's so simple, yet they were born to do this.
And we make everything look complicated.
We struggle to live day by day.
Why do we do this?

I clenched my stomach as I sat on the side if the bed. It was sore and it ached as I breathed. I didn't want to think about yesterday. I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind as I had a shower. The hot water stung my skin.
I ran my fingers across the bumps on my thighs. Some of them were recent. And some were years old.
It had been a relief to run a sharp blade across my skin. I felt that it was like letting the universe out.
I hadn't done it for a while. I hadn't needed to, well I was in hospital.
I was tempted to find one. But with the amount of energy I had, I left it.
And I made a promise. To Hayden.

I got out of the shower and got dressed into a over sized shirt and some sweat pants.
I needed something comfortable that made me feel warm.

I headed down the hall to the smell of freshly cooked breakfast. Lana was at work, I saw the back of Hayden, he was frying something in a pan.
I went and sat on a bar stool at the counter top.
"Oh hey" Hayden smiled.
"Morning" I replied.
"Did you have a good sleep?" He asked
"Uh yeah it was ok." I replied.
"Here you go, get that down you" he said as he put a plate full of bacon and eggs down in front of me.
"Thanks but I'm not really hungry" I replied as I pushed it back.
"Oh okay" he replied softly.
I saw in his face that he was concerned. He should know that I don't eat much, although he worries, I guess he's jus trying to help me.

A few minutes had passed until someone said something.
"Was she there the whole time?" I asked.
That's all I could think about. I tried and tried to not think about it but it kept coming back.
It took a few seconds for Hayden to reply.
"Yeah, she was." He replied
"But why" I said to myself out loud.
"You'll have to ask her" he said.
It went quiet as I thought if I would ever see her again. Would she want to talk to me after pushing her away? I mean she left for 16 years, so why come back now.

I couldn't even comprehend it in my mind. That I nearly died then woke up to Katy Perry by my bedside.
I'm pretty sure I'm living a dream.
Is it a dream off hope, is it ever going to end.