Fire and Flame [Iroh II x OC]

Chapter 82: Dear Zindagi

Saira's P.O.V

"Dear life,
It's me, Saira. Where should I start? I've never written or talked to you. It's pretty weird for me because I know that you're not gonna respond to me. But Doctor Huo An advised me to write you, that's why I started this letter. Every morning, I wake up and have to remind myself that Zen's torture has ended. I stopped dreaming, I stopped having nightmares. It was all pitch black. I am afraid that I just imagine all this to myself. What did you put me into? I never needed a psychologist in my life but Iroh wanted me to get one to proceed what happened in the past. To be honest, I miss those days, when you were good to me. You changed the day, I met Iroh. I know it's absurd to ask you this but are you jealous? Are you jealous that I ended up with Iroh and not you? If yes, I didn't know that you were female. I always thought that you were unisex.

However the reason, why I write this letter is, as I already said, Doctor Huo An. He advised me to speak my mind. Not just to him. I should speak about what's on my mind. It's not enough to talk to Iroh for ten minutes. I have to talk to him, Doctor Huo An and of course you. Huo An said that I should talk as much as possible, that would help me to recover. After what happened to me with Zen and all the other things, you have done to me, I decided that I didn't want to be the depressed woman again. I have enough of sitting in a corner and playing the dead one. I want to be happy. That's what I told Iroh, so he got me a psychologist, not caring what other's would say. I don't expect you to bring back my old life because I don't want that. I have grown and I became stronger with every problem, you have put in my way. I have learned to deal with you. No matter, what you planned next, I'm ready for it.

Iroh decided to do the boring office part of his job. I tried to convince him not to but he declined. I knew he loved the sea, the salty air and the adventures, that was his favourite part of the job as a General. He made a big sacrifice, which I didn't understand. It's true that I'm not completely myself yet but this isn't a reason to kill himself with paperwork. Do you know what he told me? He said that he didn't want to be away for the next few months. He said that he wanted to be by my side, to be there for me in case something happens. Maybe Doctor Huo An told him that? I will never know because neither Huo An nor Iroh want to answer my questions. I'm not broken. I'm doing better every day doesn't he see that?

Fire Lady Izumi cancelled my Royal Engagements for the next months since she is afraid that I might collapse or freak out or something like that. I appreciate that but honestly, I need something that makes me think of something else. I want to go outside, to meet new people and to spend time with my family but nope, I have to stay at home. After being imprisoned for almost four months, I need freedom. But it's okay. I understand that she worries, I don't blame her.

You know what's funny? Zuko and Ilah think that I'm pregnant. Yes, you read right. But that's not true. You know after I was dehydrated and had nothing to eat, Iroh fed me and still feeds me like there is no morning. So my children noticed that I gained weight and told everyone that I have a hubby in my bubby. I really missed these two and of course Rahul. Now that I'm in therapy and my engagements are cancelled, I have more time to spend with the joys of my life. I wish I had more time with them. Zuko gets more handsome everyday, I just can't deny it. He completely took after his father and he gets better in firebending. I'm so proud of him. Ilah is still my little princess and her love for football grows just as her older brother's and mine. But she enjoys horse riding more so Iroh and I decided teach her pony riding, since she is still very young and we are afraid that a horse could hurt her. Since Zuko's love for football and of course FC Ember Island grows every day, Iroh and I decided to send him to La Masia. It's FC Ember Island just for youngsters.
Rahul is the little Prince Charming in our family. Yes, you're reading right. But since Iroh's still king of the Charming Throne, they are just princes. Rahul hates boys. I know it sounds weird but he doesn't like playing with boys or communicating with them, except his male family members. Every time, Haku visits us, he either ignores him or cries. My boy is already winning women's hearts.

Re-reading all this, I realized that you haven't been bad to me. You gave me so much but you also challenged me. But let me tell you something, dear Zindagi. If you keep challenging me, I will keep winning. I won't let my past blackmail my present to ruin my beautiful future.

Yours,

Saira"

I opened my letter box, Huo An gave me, and put in the letter. Then locked it and hid it in my cupboard. Although this was the weirdest thing, I've ever done, Huo An was right. Writing the letter lightened my heart. I felt better and suddenly felt strong arms wrap around me:"Are you finished with writing letters to life?"

"As you can see yes."

"Good, Katara asked me to call you for the healing session.", he said kissing my neck.

"I don't look that bad at all."

"No you don't. You look fabulous. But I still want to be every scar, every little mark to be gone, so it doesn't remind us of the incident anymore. Now come."

I followed him to the medic room where Katara already waited. I took off my robe and handed it to Iroh who was grinning cheekily.

"Stop grinning.", I hissed.

I laid down and Katara, who has seen me naked before, since she was the one who helped me giving birth to all three children of mine, started healing me. For everyone who thinks that healing with water doesn't hurt, is actually right but this time it hurt as hell. I grit my teeth to prevent myself from screaming. After never ending two hours, she finally finished. I panted and put on my robe.

"It gets better everyday. Look, they almost vanished.", she pointed at my scarred wrists. I rubbed them and put on a fake smile.

When?

We suddenly heard a knock on the door and asked the person in.

"General Iroh, Commander Saira.", he saluted."

"Stand at ease.", Iroh commanded,"Go on."

The man nodded and spoke:"Republic City is in danger."