Friends with Benefits

Chapter Nine

Things I own: my sanity, not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter Nine

EPOV

I changed into a pair of jeans, going back into the living room of the apartment. Bella had a box filled with Paul's crap. It was overflowing with ratty-looking t-shirts and holey sleep pants. "Bells? Did you find his iPod?" I asked, wrinkling my nose at thesmell emanating from that box. Paul is one smelly dude.

She snorted. "No. He's yanking my chain. I do not have his iPod. The last time I saw it was in his car when we drove to his cousin's college graduation in June. He's just trying to weasel me out of the cost of a new iPod. Fucking cheapskate." She tossed the box onto the table, rifling through it. "I only found half of the shit he sent to me on that list. He's going to be pissed."

"If you don't have it, you don't have it. What does he want you to do? Make it appear out of your ass?" I chuckled. "If he tries to sue you, it wouldn't even be worth his time, Bells. It would cost more to get the papers drawn and served to you than to just purchase a new iPod. Besides, I'd represent you."

"Edward, I can't afford you," she deadpanned. "Poor, lowly teacher. The kids are lucky that I have money to purchase clothes that are somewhat professional. The wonders of clearance. And a discount from your sister from her shop."

"Bella, if you even remotely think that I'd charge you, I will kick your ass from here to Forks, Washington," I quipped. Shesmacked my arm before walking to sit down in the chair opposite of me. "We're family. There is no way that douche canoe is going to get one red cent from you."

"You either, Edward. You can't just fork over the money behind my back," Bella hissed, arching a brow at me. "I know you paid my cell phone bill that one month I was running short on cash."

"I'd do it for anyone in my family," I shrugged. "So, deal with it."

She wrinkled her nose, pumping her leg as she sat agitatedly in one of the chairs in the living room. "I still need to pay you back," she grumbled.

"Keep making our meals and considered the debt paid," I said, arching a brow. "I know how to cook but I'm nowhere near as good as you."

"You do the dishes?"

"Don't I always?" I chuckled. "You know how anal I am."

"This is true," she shrugged. The doorbell rang and Bella scowled at it. "You answer it, Edward."

"Got it," I said, hopping up from my seat. Bella stomped to the kitchen, seemingly to check on the gravy. Opening the door, I saw the troll-like man who shared Bella's life for the past three years. Paul glared at me, his eyes narrowing behind his glasses. "Paul."

"Edward," he grumped. "Is Bella here?"

"She's in the kitchen," I said, moving to the side to let him in. Paul tried to walk past me to check on her. I leaned against the door jamb, stopping his advance. "You can stay right here, Paul. You're relegated to the foyer."

"Come on, don't be that way," he said, whining slightly.

"Her rules," I said, gesturing to the kitchen. "If you cross into the living room, Bella told me that I can throw your hipster ass out the door. And your shit? Gets dumped, just like you dumped my best friend."

"I've got a lot of expensive stuff here, Cullen," he hissed.

"Yeah, your Grateful Dead T-shirt collection is invaluable," Bella snarked. "Especially the ones covered in bong water." She plucked a shirt from the box that had seen better days. "I think dog shit is more expensive than this."

Paul's face grew red and he glared at Bella angrily. Huffing out a harsh breath, he narrowed his eyes. "Did you find my iPod?"

"Nope," Bella retorted, kicking the box past me and into the foyer. "I don't have it. I'm not paying for it either. It's not myproblem that you can't keep track of your 'expensive stuff.'"

"Bella, you know that I don't want to take you to court," Paul wheedled. "We had three great years together."

"It wouldn't be worth it," I said, smirking at the troll. Paul frowned, confused by my statement. "Going to court. It would cost you more to get papers drawn, getting them served and paying for the court's time than it would be to get another iPod. Besides, I'd bury you in continuances, meaning that each time that happens, you have to pay for the court time even though we're not there. It could cost you over a thousand dollars when you can go to a Best Buy, pick up a new iPod for $250 and move on with your life."

"You're fucking him, Bella?" Paul exploded. How did he come to that conclusion? He tried to move past me and I shoved him back against the wall.

"Yes, Paul. I'm fucking him," she said, wrapping her arms around my waist. "And Edward definitely knows what buttons to push. That's because he knows what the clitoris is! Right, lover?"

I winked at her before glowering at Paul. "You've got ten seconds to get the fuck out of my house. If I see you around here again, I will get a restraining order for harassing us," I spat.

Paul growled before picking up his box of shit and stomped out of the foyer, slamming the door harshly. It caused one of the photos on the wall to fall, shattering at Bella's feet. She was barefoot. I turned, crouching in front of her. "Hop on, Bells. I don't want to take you to the ER tonight."

She clambered onto my back and I carried her into the living room, putting her on the couch. However, she wouldn't let me go. "Bells?"

"Can I just get a hug, Edward?" she whimpered, her voice sounding so small. Sitting down next to her, I wrapped her up in my arms and let my best friend fall apart. Damn Paul to the deepest pits of hell for making her cry.

A/N: Ugh, Paul. He's a total asshat. I dated someone like him...hell, I MARRIED someone like him and it was hell. I was never more thrilled when I served him with divorce papers. He may be back. He may not. I haven't decided. Leave me some!!