Friends with Benefits

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Three

Things I own: my sanity (though, that's debatable at times), not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter 133

BPOV

We were on the floor, sobbing and crying. Edward's face was buried in my hair as I clung to his shirt. However, too quickly, Edward pulled back. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice rough. "I know we need to talk, Bella. But, I've got to go to work. I've gotseveral cases that I have pretrial hearings at the courthouse today." He cupped my face, wiping tears from my cheeks."Tonight...we'll talk tonight."

"I just have to know...do you hate me?" I whispered, afraid to know the answer.

"No, Bella. I could never hate you," he answered, kissing my forehead. "I'm confused more than anything, but..."

"You have to work," I muttered, wriggling out of his arms. He tightened his hold on me. "Edward, you're gonna be late."

"So are you," he said, caressing my back.

"Mental and physical health day," I quipped sadly. He furrowed his brows. "I'm going to the doctor to get checked out becauseof, um, him. You may want to do the same, just in case. I know that I've been tested, but I'm panicking now because of the information you shared with me. I'm, um, also seeing someone for my...I'm going to a therapist. I had some pretty scary thoughts last night."

"Bells?" Edward asked, cupping my face. I crumbled again. "What, love?"

"I wanted to..." I couldn't say it. Instead, I just drew a line across my neck indicating that I wanted my life to end.

"No!" he hissed, cradling me against his warm chest. "You can't do that. I know that Paul..."

"DON'T SAY HIS NAME," I snapped.

"Sorry, love. I know that he did some horrible things but nothing, I mean nothing, should mean that you...I can't lose you," he whispered. "I..." He cried quietly, holding me so close to his body that I thought I was going to be bruised.

"I love you, Edward. That's why I knew I needed help," I choked out.

Edward's warm hand tipped my chin to look up into his spring green eyes. They were so tired, red rimmed and puffy, but there was something sparkling in them that I didn't see earlier. "You love me?" he asked.

I blushed, dropping my gaze to his unbuttoned shirt. I nodded, biting my lip. "I've always loved you, Edward. I just never expected you to love me back," I muttered. A single tear dropped out of Edward's eye and he leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine. This kiss was different from every other kiss we'd shared. It was tentative, but so much more was mixed into his soft lips. I moaned, threading my fingers into his hair, which was a disheveled mess. Our kiss was sweet, tender and loving.

Pressing his forehead to mine, Edward wiped my tears away. "I love you so much, Bella. I wanted to do so much more than..."

"Hearts, flowers, and rainbows and shit?" I chuckled, quoting his sister.

"Yeah," he said, his own blush covering his pale skin. "Certainly not in the middle of a fight over your ex-boyfriend." I smiled sadly. His phone buzzed from his pocket. Pulling it out, he frowned. "I've got to get going. To be continued?" I bit my lip, nodding. We both got up from the floor. Edward hugged me to his body, kissing my hair and cheeks before brushing his lips with mine. "I'll be back, I promise, by six, love."

"Kay," I murmured. He kissed me once more before darting up the stairs. Fifteen minutes later, he was down in a fresh suit, wet hair and his glasses. His tie was open around his neck and he was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. I stopped him, sitting him on one of the stools in the kitchen. "What do you need?"

"My bag, coffee and sanity," he chuckled.

"Your bag is by the door," I said, pointing to his briefcase. I turned to the coffee machine, pouring some into a travel mug. "Coffee. And just sip that while I tie your tie. Your sanity will come." He sighed, taking a pull of the coffee. I buttoned his shirt, tying his paisley tie into a full Windsor. Attaching the tie tack, I smoothed down the lapel of his jacket. "Better?"

"Better," he said, putting the mug down. He took my face in his hands. They were so warm because of his coffee. "I love you, Bells. I promise to make it up to you with how I said it..."

"Edward, you don't have to. I know why you did what you did," I sighed.

"It still doesn't make it right," he shrugged. Leaning forward, he kissed me softly before getting up from the stool. "Six. I promise." He kissed me again. "I love you."

"Love you, too," I replied, my heart stammering against my ribs. He kissed me again and dashed out of the kitchen. I felt better,but I knew that I still needed help. Today, I would get that help and hopefully, begin to heal.

A/N: She admitted it. Edward still loves her (was there any doubt?). Bella has some healing to do, some work with her new therapist, Elsa and she needs to confront you know who...Up next will be doctor's appointments, leading up to their conversation after Edward gets home. Leave me some!