Friends with Benefits

Chapter One Hundred Sixteen

Things I own: my sanity (though, that's debatable at times), not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter 116

EPOV

I couldn't believe how quickly I crashed after Bella and I had made love last night. I was certain that I was going to tell her that Iloved her. The look in her eyes as we came together was so resplendent. I knew that she was ready to hear it. I wanted to tell her. Not being able to say those three words were killing me because I did truly love her.

But, my body had other ideas. I was sucked under so quickly. I woke up, spooning my girl. We were both still naked from our lovemaking the night previous. My one hand was underneath her head and my other hand was grasping her bare breast. Lying next to her, feeling her heat against me, it awoken the beast. Looking at the time, it was too early for my girl so I slipped out of bed and decided to go for a run.

I dressed in a pair of shorts and a long-sleeved t-shirt. I swiped a hat from Emmett's bedroom since I knew I was rocking some serious bedhead. Carrying my shoes, iPod and hat downstairs, I finished getting ready while I sucked down a protein shake. Grabbing a water bottle, I darted outside and began my three mile trek around my parent's neighborhood. It also allowed me some time to relax and think about my relationship with Bella.

She was getting better, but there was still something holding her back. I really wanted her to see someone, but it wouldn't be productive unless she wanted it. I could only be patient while she figured it out. I would still show her that I cared for her, loved her, in the ways that I could by being there for her, showering her with sincere compliments, doing the little things for her and just being supportive. It was nice to see a confident Bella when she put my brother in his place when he embarrassed the shit out of us on the driveway. I missed that.

A half hour later, I finished my run, stretching out in the driveway. I went inside and sauntered into the kitchen, downing anotherwater bottle.

"Edward, you're dribbling all over the floor," my mom griped.

"Sorry," I said, wiping my chin. I picked up a paper towel, wiping up the random splashes of water on the tiled floor.

"Edward, I want to apologize to you and to Bella. I came on very strong," Esme blushed. "I'm just so happy that the two of you are together. I've always loved Bella like a daughter and...and..."

"I get it, Mom. It's just that Bella is struggling with some personal demons. We're together, but I'm afraid that at any moment, if I push too far, that she's going to run away," I sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to get into too many details. Suffice it to say, her past relationships have scarred her emotionally and she's hesitant to trust, resulting in insecurities about herself and me, our relationship," I explained. "Her most recent relationship did the most damage. We've talked about her getting help, but she wants to try and get over these insecurities on her own."

"Bella is not insecure," Esme argued.

"You don't see it, Mom. She puts on a good show, but behind all of that bravado is a scared woman to put her heart out there," I shrugged.

"You love her," Esme said, her brow arched.

"I do. Very much. And I want to tell her," I grumbled, sitting down on the stool in the kitchen. "I'm afraid if I do, that she'll run and that we won't be able to get what we had back. You know?"

"That is troubling," Esme mused.

"To say the least. I know I have to be patient. I've waited this long for her, what's a few more months?" I sighed. "Or a year. Or a decade."

"It won't take that long," Esme deadpanned. "Will it?"

"I don't think so. Bella said that if she can't get her head on straight by summer, she'll meet up with someone, but I'm afraid that I'm going to mess it up and blurt out my true feelings. It almost happened last night," I said. My mom smirked knowingly. I blushed, my cheeks the color of a fire engine. "Mom, please, don't make this more awkward than it already is."

"How else am I going to get grandchildren? Immaculate conception?" she snorted.

"Mom," I whimpered.

"Edward, you're a grown man who will be thirty in a few short months," she began.

"Don't remind me."

"Hush, boy. Thirty is infinitely better than fifty-two," Esme snarked. "Anyhow, you live your own life and I'm happy that you're with a girl, a smart, funny and beautiful girl like Bella. For the longest time, we thought you were gay. We would have still loved you all the same, but..."

"Mom, why did you think I was gay?"

"Because you were single and living with Bella, without any sort of romantic involvement," Esme replied, cocking her head to the side.

"Mom, I've always liked women. I was just so focused on my schooling and career that relationships took a back burner. When Paul broke up with Bella that made us both realize that we were meant to be together. It took a while, but, um, yeah..." No one could know about the initial connection of our relationship. Emmett was the only one who knew and he has proven to be agreat secret keeper.

"Well, regardless of your past, you're together now and I hope that you two weather the storm, getting married and making babies for me," Esme said, kissing my cheek. "Oh, I had forgotten how stinky you get after a workout. Go shower!"

"You don't like eau du sweat?" I snorted, raising my arm in her face. My mom laughed, pushing me toward the stairway. I chuckled, jogging up the stairs. "Mom?"

"Yes, my little stink bomb?"

"Thanks for listening," I smiled. She nodded, but pointed up the stairs with pursed lips. "I get it. I smell. On it, Ma."

A/N: Filler and some bonding time with Esme and Edward...she's not always drunk. LOL! Leave me some!