Chapter One Hundred One

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Things I own: my sanity (though, that's debatable at times), not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter 101

BPOV

I woke up early the following morning. My body was aching delightfully and I remembered the night previous. Edward and I had sex. You made love, idiot. It wasn't an illicit affair or some stupid arrangement. Edward spent the entire night pleasuring me. It was nothing short of amazing and I truly meant it when I called him a sex god.

The things he does with his fingers and damn...his tongue?

Rolling over onto my side, I looked at him. Edward was still deeply asleep. He was curled up behind me with his arm draped over my middle. His other arm was hidden underneath the pillow. I used this time to open ogle my boyfriend. I frowned at my thoughts. I had hidden it well, but for as long as I knew Edward and his family, I had wanted him. I had placed him the friend category. He was friend-zoned. I didn't want to run the risk of losing his friendship and ruining everything between me and his family.

As a result, I dated assholes, douchebags and fucktards.

I never really thought about it. In fact, I still tried to keep Edward at arm's length, even after the benefit. Coming up with those stupid rules and trying to have a 'friends with benefits' arrangement, it just blew up in my face. I nearly lost him. I was ready to move out and to start fresh somewhere else if I had fucked it up. Like everything else in your love life, Swan.

I wriggled out of Edward's arms, wanting to stay cuddled in his embrace but I needed to think. I swiped a hoodie from his closet and I went downstairs to the living room. Edward had cleaned up from our tryst on the couch. However, the lingering smell of sex hit my nose. I wrenched open the windows and lit a few candles before curling up on the recliner.

After years of longing for Edward, hiding my true feelings for him, being with him has been nothing short of miraculous. He was everything I'd hope he'd be and more. He treated me like a queen and he always was complimenting me. He told me that I was beautiful, smart, and...

Tears were rolling down my cheeks. Too good to be true, Swan. Edward can't be that perfect. With my luck in relationships, I was waiting for him to change. My negative thoughts were going to get me in trouble, I know it, but no one man could be this good. Even Edward. Yes, he has his flaws. He works way too hard. That running thing? No one should jog for enjoyment. I'd rather endure Chinese water torture or a Justin Bieber concert than run. Edward is slightly anal retentive and OCD when it came to the kitchen and the house. I've long since learned to contain my mess (though, I'm fairly OCD, too) in my bedroom. Edward would have a heart attack if he walked into my closet.

"Pretty girl?" Edward called.

I blushed at his new nickname for me. I turned toward him after I wiped my eyes. I had to hide the very clear signs that I had been crying. He was rubbing his own eyes, holding his glasses in his hands and stumbling into the living room. He was delightfully shirtless and all disheveled. He couldn't look sexier. "Come back to bed, baby," he said, his voice gravelly.

"I couldn't sleep anymore," I replied. He tugged on my hand, gently pulling me from the seat. He heavily flopped down before dragging me into his lap and putting up the recliner. "Miss me?"

"Always, pretty girl," he cooed, nuzzling my neck. "I woke up because I had to go to the bathroom and the bed was cold. How long have you been up?"

"An hour or so," I shrugged, curling up in his lap and burying my nose in the crook of his neck. "I was sore and someone kept hogging the bed."

He snorted, his eyes closed. "I do not hog the bed. If anyone is a bed hog, it's you. For someone so tiny, you take up a lot of space. And the drool? It's a good thing I like you, Swan, or we'd have problems."

"I do not drool," I snarled, twisting his nipple.

"Ow! Leave the man boobs alone," he laughed, cupping his chest. "You do drool. Usually on my chest or on my neck, right where you're cuddled. But, I don't care. I like sharing a bed with you, bed-hoggedness, drool and all. It makes us real."

You'll get sick of me. Just like they all do.

Ugh, stop with the negativity, Bella! Why are you so determined that this will fail?

"My beautiful Bella," Edward sighed, his arms tightening around me. I looked up at him and his eyes were closed. On his handsome face, there was a soft smile. He was sleeping. He had the right idea. Snuggling closer to him and pulling a blanket over our legs, I decided to the same.

I may as well enjoy while it lasts.

A/N: Oh, Bella. She's so adamant on believing that Edward will change and cast her aside like every other guy. She needs therapy. She really does, but our girl is a bit stubborn. A bit? And before all of you want throw her under the bus, fear is a huge motivator. When you're used to a relationship be all sorts of fucked up, the negative thoughts just cling toyour brain. Trust me. I know. I was Bella and still am Bella in the aspect that I'm afraid of being in a relationship; that I'm not good enough for any guy. It's why I'm still single after being divorced for almost three years. Will she sabotage herself? Only time will tell...Will she go to therapy? She may try it, but it won't help if she doesn't want it and right now, she's not there...

Oh, we'll be hearing from Paul again...

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