Friends with Benefits

Chapter Twenty-Five

Things I own: my sanity, not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter Twenty-Five

BPOV

Shortly after Esme's drunken proclamation that Edward and I need to make grandbabies for her, Carlisle escorted her up to her room for a nap. The rest of us chilled out and watched football. I ended up crashing with my head in Edward's lap. I was tiredfrom the wine and the emotional outburst with Rosalie's tirade from this morning. When I woke up, I was ready for some fun and I ended up playing poker with the boys and cleaning them out. Counting my money, I was giddy because I had lunch money for next week.

We all went to bed after the poker game. Edward decided to stay with me since he hadn't time to purify his room from the bitch queen. I walked in while he was debating and the overwhelming scent of Chanel Allure hit my nostrils. "Ugh, that is awful," I said, plugging my nose. "I like your cologne so much better, Edward. Dior Homme is much more palatable."

"Yeah, still sleeping with you," he grumbled, spraying some air freshener and opening the window before crawling into bed with me.

The next morning, Esme woke up with a killer hangover but it didn't stop her from barking orders for us. We were going to set up Christmas at the Cullen home. It was, thankfully, relatively mild weather-wise. She sent Edward, Emmett and Jasper outside with ladders and lights. She handed Edward a blueprint of what she wanted. Edward blanched, grumbling that we'd get home at like one in the morning with all of crap she wanted up. Inside, she had Carlisle set up the tree while Alice and I tackled the lights.

"Dear God, these are in knots," I groaned, trying to unravel the lights. "Who took them down?"

"I did," Carlisle replied from his perch on the ladder. He was stringing a set of lights onto the tree that we had already unraveled."

"Dad, wrap them around something. Don't just throw them into the tub," Alice grumbled. "It's a surefire way for them to be screwed up and half the strand to go out. Just a suggestion."

"Your mother insists on turning the house into a Christmas wonderland," Carlisle snorted. "I'm happy with a tree with some ornaments on it. But no, she wants lights, sparkles, mistletoe, dancing reindeer and a Santa Claus that can do a kick line while singing 'Feliz Navidad.'"

"Christmas is Mom's thing. Your thing is Fourth of July. How many times have you been threatened to be thrown in jail for all ofyour illegal fireworks?" Alice laughed.

"Five times," he muttered.

"And yet, she still lets you do that," Alice pointed out. "Your thing is illegal. Mom's thing is time consuming and ornate. But, it's all in good fun, Dad."

"I'd rather have a Christmas wonderland," I responded. "In Forks, we've got the Charlie Brown tree, complete with a single ornament and a half-lit strand of lights. My mom spends most of her time decorating her room and my dad usually works on Christmas so his deputies don't have to. I've tried to get them to do more for Christmas, but they don't."

"Is that why your apartment is always decked out?" Alice asked.

"Yep. I'm compensating for my lack of Christmas during my formative years. Edward's a sport and lets me get a real tree and deck the place out. I even have a tree for my room," I giggled.

Three hours later, the tree was lit and we were working on adorning any stationary object with lighted garland. The ornaments were going to be put up by all of us once the guys were done putting the exterior lights. Edward walked in, his face red from being outside and his glasses fogged up. "Mom, one of the reindeer is half lit. Do you still want him up?" he asked.

"Fix him," Esme said simply.

"Mom, there are over a three hundred lights on the damn reindeer. Either he's going up half lit or he's not going up at all. I'm not checking every single light," Edward argued. "It's cold and I just spent the better part of the morning crawling around the roof. And you know how much love heights."

"They're a pair!" Esme wailed. "Bambi needs his Momma!"

"Oh, for the love," Carlisle grumbled. He walked past Edward and into the garage. He snapped a photo with his phone and hopped into his car. Twenty-five minutes later, Carlisle came back with an identical reindeer. "Problem solved." He took the half lit wire mesh reindeer and tossed him in the garbage before going back inside.

"That's one way of fixing it," Emmett laughed.

"Saves me from testing each of those lights," Edward smirked. "Let's put out Bambi and his mother before Carlisle shoots her and go inside. I'm freezing!"

"Are you guys done?" Alice asked.

"Yep," Jasper said. "Your mom gave us a detailed blueprint and everything. Very helpful."

"And you can do it all on your own next year, Jasper," Edward snorted as he plugged in the reindeer. Emmett flipped on the lights and the house glowed and twinkled.

"Is the house on fire, Clark?" I asked, quoting National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Without missing a beat, Edward snorted. "No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights."

"Merry Christmas. Shitter was full!" Emmett guffawed. We rolled our eyes, going inside to warm up and finish decorating the Cullen home, having a Norman Rockwell moment while putting up ornaments on the tree.

Tugging on Edward's arm as he passed, I hissed in his ear. "How much are their electric bills during the holidays?"

"More than you make in a year," he laughed. "But it's tradition."

A/N: Pictures of the reindeer and the vision I had for the Cullen's home are on my tumblr and blog. The house that I used for the example pays $82,000 a month to light the damn thing. That seriously is more than I make in a year. Up next, the benefit and Edward's POV! I love writing Edward. He's hella awesome.