Jens pov
Leah served us all dinner so I guess I don't have to cook tonight. The worst part of today is leaving her. I had a bad feeling that things won't be the same after this. I mean I'm still gonna give her rides. But I just feel it.
I got home, showered, then had Emme take a bath. Tomorrow is back to reality. Work, Emme has school, deal with leah, all the errands. Ugh.
"Mommy!" Emme yells from upstairs. "Yeah?" "Come here!" I listen and get off the couch and go upstairs to her room. She wasn't in there so I checked my room. She wasn't in there either. I had two extra rooms and she wasn't there so I went back in her room. "Emme??" "Boo!!" She jumps out from behind the door startling me. "Oh my- Emme!" I say in confusion and laugh. "Did you get scared?" "Well Yeah!" I say and shake my head and carry her. She continues to smile and looks right at me. "You're adorable" I say and peck her on her lips with mine.
"What's that?" She says and grabs my arm. I forgot I never even told her. "Oh. I got your name tattooed on my arm" "tattooed?" "Yeah. Like permanent ink. Only for adults though"
"Why does it say my name?"
"Because..I love you with all my heart." I smile "and I wanted your name written on me so I could always think about you even when you're not with me. It's hard to get rid of tattoos so this means a lot to me baby" "can I get one with your name Mommy?" I giggle and scrunch up my nose. "No silly! I said adults only. It'll hurt! They used a needle Babe"
She puts both hands on her face and squeals. "Owwwieee" She says "it's okay. It's healing. I don't even feel it anymore." "Oh"
I sit her up on top of her dresser and face her. I don't say anything but she starts playing with my hair messing it up. Flipping it to the wrong side and all that. I squeezed her cheeks softly and she started to giggle. "You look funny" she tells me. "Well I wonder why" "hehe" I smile back and lean in and kiss her cheek repeatedly. "Ew!!" "I- love- you" I say. She smells like me now since we used our soap instead of Leah's. Emme's distracting me from Leah which is good. I love spending time with Emme. She's my best friend.
-
"Goodmorning" Leah says sitting down in my car. No hug? Okay. "Goodmorning" I say and start driving. I drop off the girls first then I stop by Starbucks on the way.
"Want anything?" I ask her "um..sure just a white chocolate mocha and a butter croissant." "Okay"
I order at the drive thru lowering the music and lean over to make sure they could hear me. I ordered then I moved the car forward a little. I just rested my elbow on the side since the window was rolled down and leaned on it. I didn't even go on my phone or anything and I didn't even feel like putting the music back up so you could barely hear it. I guess I'm not in the mood for anything.
I moved forward again pulling up at the window. "Here Jen" she says and hands me her card. "No it's okay" "no here" "Leah it's fine!" I say and dig through my purse for my wallet. It took me a while and I realized I left it at home. I sigh and look at her and she hands me the card again. "Sorry. I'll pay you back" I say kind of embarrassed but put a fake smile and hand the card over the the employee.
I give the drink to Leah and her damn croissant and then her card. "Thanks" I tell her. "You're welcome" She says and I look away and get my drink.
"You know you don't have to act weird" she tells me as I drive. "Weird?" "Yeah" "I'm not. I'm just tired" "Well. Your coffee should help then" she says. "Mhm"
I feel weird inside and I'm not that tired. I'm just..I don't know. I'm sad but I can't do anything about it. I love her though. I just fell in love with her and now we're..done? I don't know if we're done. As in messing around, dating. It's only the first day back and I miss her morning kisses when she was with me after we dropped off the girls. The hugs too. It just doesn't feel right.
-
After a long day at work, no lunch with Leah today, we were on our way to pick up the girls. We didn't even talk. I wish I knew what this was but I don't and I don't want to ask.
"Hi mommy! Hi Leah!" Emme says getting into the car with Sofia's help. "Aw you walked with Emme here?" I ask. "Yeah so you guys wouldn't have to get out" "Oh haha okay"
I look at leah and raise both brows and gave a fake smile then drive. After dropping them off I sighed and drove away from her apartment. I didn't go up with them. Emme didn't feel like going up so we just left.
Later that night after putting Emme to sleep I went to bed sad again. I keep thinking about too much going on. By now Leah would've noticed if she was here with me and she would've comforted me making sure I'm alright.
Then I got a text from Leah.
"Goodnight 💖"
That made my heart pound. I didn't even think she'd still text me.
"Gn" I respond. That's rude of me not sending a heart back and not actually spelling out the word but whatever.
