TMR / TBS Imagines 2

Newt // Protective *REQUEST*

* This imagine was requested by @casonyx

Thank you for being so patient with me because I know this one took me forever to post. This is in honor of our man's 28Th birthday.

Warning: possibly triggering for anyone associated with suicide and self-hatred so read with caution *

Newt was furious as he tried to walk across the Glade towards Alby. This was a task that a month ago would cause him no trouble at all but now it seemed as if the Homestead was miles away. It was this limp that made it so troublesome and he honestly regretted it every day.

Newt was the victim of a mental illness that drew him to a drastic decision that hurt not only himself physically but everyone around him mentally. Now that his best friend knew the sickness he had been dealing with for months, she became very protective of the boy and helped in every way she thought possible.

"Newt? Where are you going?" (Y/N) caught up to him when she noticed him wandering, more like lagging towards the Homestead. She knew of his new limp and couldn't possibly imagine what he was going through so she wanted to make his life as easy as possible now.

"I need to deliver this to Alby. It would have been earlier if it weren't for this bloody leg," Newt groaned while gesturing to his left leg. The girl now noticed the pad of paper in his hand with writing scribbled on the front, probably another checklist Newt was so fond of making.

"Let me take it for you. I'm already on my way there now," (Y/N) told him while reaching out to grab the paper.

Newt put his arm beside his head to keep her hand from reaching it. "No, I got it. I'm not useless y'know." Newt tried walking around her now that he realized exactly why she was over here: to help.

Newt wasn't ungrateful for all of her help considering the two of them have helped each other more than any other pair in this Glade, but it felt different now. To him, it seemed that she viewed him as incapable of things that she once didn't care about. He wanted to do this on his own.

"Newt, that's what I meant and you know it." She sidestepped to block his way, forcing him to look at her instead of his destination ahead. "I just want to help you."

"Yeah, well I don't need your help. I can do this just fine without you," he spat as he pushed past her once more. She could tell he was annoyed by her but she swallowed down the lump in her throat and tried one more time to help him.

"Newt, I just want to-"

Newt let out a loud grown, his free hand flying to his hair. He spun back around so fast that (Y/N) had to take a few steps back in fear of him hitting her. "And I just want you to go away. Just because I have a limp doesn't mean I'm as bloody weak and useless as you are. I can do this on my own, without you." Newt didn't wait any longer because he turned back to the Homestead and continued limping towards it.

(Y/N) stood frozen in place, her eyes already pooling with tears and her blood running cold. Newt had never screamed at her like that, nor had he ever called her weak and useless. Is that how he really thought of her?

Once she broke out of her self-deprecating haze, she wrapped both of her arms around her body and walked at a fast pace towards her secluded hut where she could cry without anybody watching.

On the other side of the Glade, Newt had finally made it to the Homestead. Alby immediately took in his sour expression and approached his friend. He knew the real reason for the limp, unlike what he told all of the other Gladers (minus himself, (Y/N) and the Med-jacks who helped him). He knew how hard this must be for him and part of him wanted to just keep Newt on bedrest for another month.

"What's with you?" Alby knew asking Newt how he felt would be a sensitive topic since he normally lashed out at whoever asked.

"Nothing," Newt just huffed, holding out the paper meant for Alby.

Alby rolled his eyes and took the paper before tossing it to the closest countertop. He then crossed his arms over his chest in an authoritative way. "Slim it, shank. Tell me what's up."

Newt groaned again, quieter this time, and ran his hand through his tangled hair; he hadn't bothered with it since the incident. The throbbing in his ankle returned so he sat down on the chair closest to him. He took a second to come up with something to say before looking back up at Alby.

"Everyone thinks I'm useless now just because of my shuck leg. They all look at me different like they're scared I'm gonna break. I'm sick of her trying to take care of me cause she pities me." Alby just stared at his friend, both shocked and sort of relieved that he finally told him what he was thinking.

"You really think (Y/N) does all that cause she pities you?" Newt raised his head to Alby, wondering why his tone had suddenly changed. Alby scoffed. "She does that because she likes you. You see any of the other shanks out there running to help you? She helps you because she cares about you. And you're too much of a slinthead to even see it."

Newt took in everything he said until guilt washed over him. Now that he really thought about it, none of the other boys were that quick to go out of their way for him. Only (Y/N) tried to take care of him and help him readjust to his new life with a limp. And he just yelled at her for it.

Alby smiled slightly when he saw his friends face shift into realization. Newt stood back up, wobbling a bit from being off his leg and thanked his friend. He left the hut as quickly as he could in search of his best friend.

Newt had searched the Glade for only a minute when he finally decided to try her room. As he walked to the secluded hut with his leg hurting at every step, he questioned why he didn't try her room in the first place. His heart cracked in his chest as he heard the faint cries coming from inside the room. He never wanted to hurt her. He knocked twice on the door and waited for her to answer.

Her breath hitched and the cries silenced almost instantly when she heard the knock at the door. She didn't want anyone to see her this weak so she wiped her cheeks as quickly as she could and put on her best fake smile for whoever was at the door. When she opened it, her smile fell.

Newt took in her state: her eyes bloodshot and swollen from crying and her hair a mess from digging it into one of her pillows. He figured he deserved the guilty feeling in his stomach.

"Hi." She wasn't sure what else to say.

"Can I come in?" She looked behind her for a second, her brain somehow forgetting what was behind her and stepped out of the way. Only one other time had he asked to enter her room and it gave her a weird, almost sad feeling.

"I'm sorry for earlier. You can do things on your own and I shouldn't have tried to stop you," she told him after shutting the door.

"No, none of that," he straight away shot her down, not letting her for one second think this was her fault. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you this morning when you were just trying to help. I have no excuse for calling you what I did. You do so much for me and I... thank you."

(Y/N) walked closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him. He was shocked for a moment but placed his hands on her back. Smiles mirrored both of their faces as they took in the warm feeling of a hug from their best friend.

"I forgive you," she replied, pulling away just enough to press a kiss to his cheek.

"My leg's been killing me all day." Newt pulled away from her by stepping backwards closer towards her bed with his hands still on her waist. "I think I need to—" he let go of her and flopped backwards onto the bed, "—lay down. Care to join me?"

(Y/N) laughed at his silliness and climbed onto the bed on top of him. The two wiggled into place, finding the perfect position with her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her frame and their legs tangled at the end of the bed. She might not have been able to change the past, but he was sure she would be able to make him live with it.