Finding Me

I'm Sorry

"We were just talking" Dylan explains, his hands up in surrender, Kai looks furious.
"Get away from her" Kai yells, standing in front of me, anger starts to rise from his accusation.
"Kai stop," I tell him while pulling him away from Dylan.
"What the fuck Violet, Luna cheated on me, and now you get all cozy with Dylan," he says, his face red, I'm stunned.
"We were just talking," I say, my voice quiet now as anxiety builds inside me at all the eyes watching us.
"Obviously he likes you" He stammers angrily
"He doesn't and even if he did, don't you trust me? I told you I trusted you with Deena, but you can't do the same" I say, anger rising in my voice.
"That's not the same thing," he says, making me roll my eyes
"Why?" I ask, he takes a step closer
"Because" He responds
"wow okay, I'm allowed to be friends with whoever I want," I tell him, he closes his eyes in frustration
"I know that, but not him" he orders, and I take a step back stunned by his anger
"You don't own me Kai" I whisper angrily, his eyes trace my face in search of mercy, but I'm too angry.
"You're a lot more like Luna than I thought" he spits, it feels like he's smacked me. tears brim my eyes, but I refuse to cry in front of everyone.
"I'm sorry you think that" I respond my voice hard, I turn then rushing to the front door.
"Vi wait" Kalani yells, just as I open the door. She follows me outside, my legs moving fast, as tears stream down my face. I finally stop, my lungs burning, as tears blur my vision. Kalani catches up with me, her arms going around me.
"I'm sorry," she says as I cry in her arms
"We were just talking" I sob, as my body sags
"I know" she responds, giving me a tissue from her purse I blow my nose, crying more because of how pathetic I look.
"He's just paranoid, and he acted like a dick," she says, as we continue walking
"I trusted him with Deena, why, why couldn't he trust me" I stutter.
"I don't know Vi, but he should," she says, I grab her hand squeezing it for comfort. We walk to my house, my legs burn, but Kalani listens as I whine, and she makes jokes when I need to laugh.
"You want to come in?" I ask, she smiles
"I can't it's late, and Tutu wants me home tonight," she says giving me a quick hug before skipping off. I walk into the house, and I can hear the TV on, my aunt's up.
"Vi is that you" she calls I try to wipe my dripping mascara as best I can, before walking into the living room, she's smiling but her smile drops.
"Honey, what happened?" she asks standing instantly, I burst into tears again, she hugs me tightly. I tell her the whole story as she makes us some tea.
"I just can't believe he said that to me," I say staring at my cup
"It's surprising, maybe he just paranoid over that Luna girl," she says, I nod knowing it's true but what he said was malicious, and I never thought he would be so mean, especially not to me.
"I know, but he had no right to talk to me like that," I tell her, she nods vigorously
"I know and I'm not protecting him, I'm very angry at him, I just want you to know it's not your fault it's on him," she says, handing me a cookie, I smile, but it feels tight and strained
"I'm sorry sweetie," she says, I nod, biting my lip to keep from crying again.
"Want to watch a movie?" she asked, I nod. We watch Year one and laugh our asses off, but all I can think about is Kai, his words slicing through me on repeat. My aunt hugs me one last time before bed, kissing my cheek. I change into the comfiest pair of sweats I own and hop into bed. I fall asleep quickly, my body melting into the mattress, my eyelids heavy with exhaustion.
"Violet" someone shakes me awake
"What?" I ask shooting up in my bed, my aunts at stands over me.
"Kai's at the door," she says, my stomach drops, as memories of last night flood my mind
"Tell him I don't want to see him," I say, my words coming out fast, and slurred, she nods closing my door.  I lay back down straining to listen to his response.
"She doesn't want to see you," my aunt says, her voice hard
"Okay, could you tell her I'm sorry, I'm just really sorry," he says, my body melts further into the mattress, his words sending a pain through me. I stare up at the ceiling the sun casting a yellow ray onto it. I grab my phone 3 messages from Kai, and 1 message from Kalani. I open Kalani's first
"Hey, just wanted to see how you were, text me," she writes
"I'm better, still angry, but not as sad. Thanks for last night, you're the best" I respond. I open Kai's messages, my heart rate speeding up.
"I'm so sorry" he starts
"Please can we talk, I know I was a complete ass, please Just let me explain" he continues
"I love you," he ends, making the pain burn brighter. I stare at the I love you, my stomach dropping. I finally get up, tying my hair on the way to the bathroom.
"Morning," My aunt says, as I grab a cup of coffee.
"Morning" I respond, she smiles.
"How are you feeling?" she asks
"I'm better, I just don't feel like talking to him," I tell her, sitting down on the couch.
"Well it's better you take your time anyway, figure everything out," she says, I nod. There's a another knock a the door, and my body turns cold, my aunt answers it, I hide in the kitchen.
"Dylan I haven't seen you in so long how are you" my aunt says, shock fills my body, Dylan's here.
"I know sorry I've been dealing with some stuff, also I turned into a dick for a while" he tells her, my aunt laughs.
"We all go through it" she responds
"Yeah I guess, I just figured I wasn't the person my mother would have wanted me to be" he says melting my heart.
"She would be proud of you" my aunt responds
"I still have time, So is Violet here?" He asks, my aunt looks back
"I'm just gonna see if she's up for visitors" she says, but I step in view, he smiles kindly.
"Thanks aunt V, I'm good" I say, she smiles
"Say hi to your father for me" she says, he nods, and she walks back to the kitchen.
"Hey" I say walking outside
"Hey, I know this is probably over stepping, but I had to see you to tell you I'm really sorry for what happened at my party, it wasn't fair" he blurts as we sit down on the steps.
"Thanks, But it wasn't your fault" I respond
"I knew he would have gotten mad, I should have stayed away" he says staring at his hands.
"I'm allowed to talk to whoever I want" I tell
Him, he chuckles.
"Oh I know I can tell you're your own person" he states, making me smile.
"Have you guys talked?" He asks, I shake my head.
"He's tried to but I'm not really in the mood to talk to him" I say, he nods. I can tell he wants to say something, so I wait.
"I don't know if you guys are in love or even your story, but I think you owe yourself an explanation, you deserve to know why he was so angry so you don't ever blame yourself for not trying"
He says, I process his words, and tears cloud my eyes.
"Hey I'm sorry I didn't mean to overstep" he says placing his hand on my back rubbing soothing circles.
"No you didn't, I'm just a cry baby." I say holding back the tears. I shake out my hands to collect myself.
"I don't think your a cry baby I think your human" he tells me, I laugh now.
"I didn't know you could be such a guru of life" I sputter, he chuckles.
"Oh I have many talents" he states proudly.
"Thanks for everything, and I hope this whole thing didn't scare you off cause I would like to be your friend" I tell him, he grins a huge grin making me smile.
"Oh it takes a lot more to scare me off, but if you cry one more time I'll definitely leave" he jokes, I shove him.
"You might as well leave now cause I'll probably cry soon" I joke, he laughs.
"Ahh let's play it by year" he respond.