Finding Me

Movie Night

"Step Brothers" Dylan cheers loudly as I play the movie.
"Exactly!" I say, making Kalani laugh loudly.
"I don't see how anyone could possibly dislike this movie" I mutter as Kai plops down beside me with a bowl of popcorn.
"There are stupid people out there Vi" Dylan says, I nod.
"What about you Jackson?" I ask. Kalani brought the guy she went out with a couple times to our movie night, I don't mind but I don't know how I feel about him yet.
"I love the movie" He stutters nervously, making Dylan laugh loudly. Kalani throws a pillow at Dylan who shrugs it off. Kai pulls me closer to him. His affection hasn't stopped, he's more clingy than ever. Maybe it's just because I'm not as affection that it seems too much, but It just feels like somethings wrong. Like he's compensating for something. Kalani snuggles closer to Justin, her head on his shoulder. They seem pretty affectionate considering they just started dating. I look over at Dylan who's already laughing loudly. He seems fine with Kalani dating, happy even. I know he'd tell me if he was upset by it, we talk about pretty much everything. I haven't talked to him about Kai yet, honestly I don't know how to word it, it sounds dumb. I know I'm being dumb how could I not be. Im annoyed of my boyfriend giving me too much attention! I sigh grabbing a fist full of popcorn and shoving it in my mouth, Kai chuckles, and I shove some in his mouth too, making him laugh louder popcorn flying everywhere.
"Eww" I say, he shrugs smugly.
"Guys" Kalani states, I nod looking at the movie screen. I can't seem to focus on my favourite movie of all time, my body feels energized, and I can feel my heart beating loudly. The thuds send heat to my cheeks, fear courses through me. I can't be, I was just fine. I can't tell if my breathing has picked up, but I stand quickly, the thud still loud in my ears. Kai gives me a worried look.
"Bathroom" I smile reassuringly, turning quickly. I feel the weight of my body with each step. I step into the bathroom gulping down a couple breathes of air. My head feels dizzy. I turn the water on patting my heated cheeks with cold water. I try to focus on my breathing, but the pressure in my chest gets heavier, my stomach twists into tiny knots. I can not be having a panic attack! I look at my reflection, I quickly turning away. There's a low knock on the door, my heart races.
"One sec" I comment, hoping I sound normal.
"Vi it's me" Dylan calls, his voice muffled. I quickly open the door letting him in.
"What's wrong?" He asks immediately
"I don't know" my voice sounds breathy, my throat tight. The panic starts to increase. Why was this happening now?
"Hey look at me, you're okay look at me" he pulls my face up to his, his eyes on mine. I focus on his dilating pupils, my breath slowing down. I can feel the thud of my heart slow, relief floods over me. I take in a big breath, letting it calm my frayed nerves.
"You're okay" he repeats his voice steady, slicing through the panic. We stand there for a bit, our breathing synced up.
"Thank you" I mutter after a couple of minutes
"Anytime" he remarks making me smile.
"Ready?" He asks, I nod checking my reflection in the mirror. I head out first, thankfully we weren't in there too long to explain.
"You okay?" Kai whispers in my ear once I sit down.
"Ya Sorry" I mutter, he doesn't ask any questions just snuggles closers to me, his solid arms around me. I press my head to his chest giving a small smile to Dylan, who smiles in return. I listen to Kai's heartbeat, and it seems to lull me to sleep.
...
"I was out getting faded, till she hit me up" I sing loudly, the house empty. The words echo loudly making me laugh. I dance wildly around the coffee table, feeling really giddy.
"Just come and come and break me off" I sing, laughing loudly at myself.
"I'm gonna take it personal"
"Always take it personal" someone sings, my heart drops and I turn towards the voice. Dylan, and Kalani stand in the doorway.
"Fuck you" I say, Dylan laughs dancing towards me his hips moving rhythmically, making me laugh even though I try not to.
"Why won't you say" we both sing at the same time, Kalani laughs.
"I wanna do all the things that you like provided you give me time" we continue singing, all of us are now dancing together, laughing between lyrics.
"I fucking love that song" Dylan says
"What are you guys doing here?" I ask, Kalani plops down on the couch, putting her legs up.
"So there's a house party, and we're going" she explains
"K" I whine not feeling like being social today
"Come on, Jackson's coming" she smiles, I sit next to her grabbing a pillow.
"Then you three go" I retort, she pushes me.
"Come on, get drunk with me" she begs, her eyes pleading. She knew what she was doing.
"Fine" I relent, she claps her hands excitedly. 
"Does Kai know?" I ask, knowing he's currently working at the diner.
"Nope, but you can text him, he won't say no to you" she smiles, I move to grab my phone.
"Hey party tonight, you in?" I type. Dylan at that point made a sandwich, and is coming to sit down.
"Make yourself at home" I laugh
"Thanks" he smiles mouth full, I shove him, making him groan.
"So what do you guys think of Jackson?" Kalani suddenly asks, Dylan and I look at each other.
"He's fine" Dylan mutters, picking at his sandwich.
"Fine?" She asks
"He's nice, really nice" I express, this doesn't satisfy her.
"But?" She asks
"He just seems, well he doesn't really" I start words failing me.
"He's boring" Dylan finally says, her mouth drops
"He isn't" she responds, Dylan shrugs
"He's a bit boring" I agree, she clicks her tongue
"Guys"
"K, it's not a bad things just an observation." I defend, she sighs
"He can be fun, he's just been nervous" she explains
"Ya okay that could totally be it" I agree, Dylan shakes his head
"Nope" Dylan says, I nudge him, he turns to me and sighs
"We'll probably see the fun side of him once he's drunk" Dylan tells her, she nods satisfied. My phone rings out then.
"Sure if you are" Kai responds
"He's in" I tell them writing back to him.
"Knew he couldn't say no to you" she smiles
"Who can" I laugh, Dylan snorts, and I grab his sandwich taking a big bite, his jaw drops.