Finding Me

Here We Go Again

I stand there panicked, watching Kalani walk away with him has set my body on fire. I don't want her to be alone with him.
"I'm going to kill him" Kai demands, his eyes bugging out of his head.
"Stop, Kalani is old enough to take care of herself, I know you hate him we all do, but if she wants to talk to him, she should be able to" I state, he nods, but I can feel the anger coming off him in waves.
"Do you think she'll get back together with him?" Dylan asks his hands in his pockets.
"I don't think so," I tell him, trying not to smile at his obvious worry.
"Distract me" I demand, my worry showing.
"Aren't you distracted by looking at me, I mean, just look at me!" Dylan says, making me laugh.
"You're too into yourself," I tell him, he laughs now, a hardy laugh. We continue this back, and forth for a while, but it's not working on Kai, he's tense, and looking around furiously.
"She's going to be fine," I say, he freezes.
"Hopefully" He replies, his voice cold and so unlike him.
"Kai, you have to trust her," I say, he groans, rubbing his eyes.
"I do trust her, I don't trust him" he says, I nod knowing that nothing I say will help right now. Finally Kalani comes back, her eyes are slightly bloodshot but besides that she looks fine.
"Hey, you Okay?" I ask, she nods.
"Where is he?" Kai asks, she glares.
"Stop please, I dealt with it" she demands, he nods curtly, but he still looks angry.
"Hey, do you wanna come with me to get some more drinks?" I ask Kai, hoping we can talk, he nods again.
"You two talk" I say, Kalani glares at me, I just shrug.
"You okay?" I ask as we make our way to the keg, he shrugs.
"I'm fine" he replies, his eyes hard, I stop him, and he looks confused.
"Hey, whats really going on?" I ask, he seems to deflate slightly.
"I'm suppose to protect her, and I couldn't" he says, his eyes focusing above me. Suddenly it makes sense why he was taking this so hard, he blames himself.
"This isn't your fault" I state, he huffs
"I'm serious Kai, this happens, you couldn't have done anything to stop it" I continue
" I could have watched out more, but I was too focused on myself" he says, and my heart hurts slightly.  He was focused on us, and now he feels guilty.
"I know that you blame yourself, but Kalani was gonna do what she wanted anyway, you couldn't have stoped her" I say, my voice shaky.
"I could have tried, I was too tied up" he says again, making my stomach drop.
"I'm sorry" I say, and he looks at me confused.
"For what.... wait I didn't mean that you distracted me... I don't blame you" he says quickly, I turn feeling embarrassed.
"Violet, you were there for her more than me, what I meant was I wasn't in the right head space" he says turning me around, his touch sends goosebumps along my arms.
"I'm just paranoid" I deflate quickly before I look like a complete idiot.
"I'm sorry I made you feel like that, but I don't think your a distraction" he continues, his arms on my shoulders.
"I know it's okay I overreacted" I shrug him off
"No, you didn't, I'm sorry I said that okay really I didn't mean it like that... god, I'm such an idiot. I hurt my sister than I hurt you" he says the last part more to himself and my heart breaks.
"No really it's fine, I understand I just read it wrong. It's okay really. You are not an idiot, by the way, I wouldn't have dated an idiot" I say, he chuckles, the hardness in his eyes melting.
"Thank you," he says, his voice barely above a whisper, I smile. We get the drinks and head towards Kalani and Dylan who are laughing loudly.
"What did we miss?" I ask handing them their drinks.
"Just talking about food" Dylan states, smirking, Kalani laughs louder. I smirk at her, and she blushes.
"Can we ditch this bonfire" Kai blurts, making me laugh.
"And go where?" Kalani asks
"I'm Hungry, so food, then home," he says, in a duh voice.
"Can I come?" someone asks, we all turn to see Deena, my stomach drops.
"Denna hey" Kalani says, her eyes glued to me, I shake off the feeling of pity she's sending me.
"I haven't seen you guys in so long, since the party" she says, moving closer to us, her eyes linger on me. I cringe at the mention of the party.
"Yeah, where have you been?" I ask Kai looks sheepish, his hand scratching the back of his neck nervously.
"Around," she says giggling as if it was the funniest thing she's ever said.
"Hey, I heard about Haku I'm sorry" She adds, Kalani looks taken back, her body stiff.
"Yeah, Thanks," she says, her voice wavering.
"So, are we going?" Dylan asks
"I'm starving so I say yes" Kalani responds, I'm not focusing on them, I focusing on the way Deena subtly moves closer to Kai, her arm brushing his. She smiles at him, pushing her hair away from her face, her cheeks turning pink as Kai speaks.
"Vi?" Kalani asks, I turn toward her quickly
"Sorry" I respond, she smiles at me
"Do you want to go?" she asks, I quickly peek at Deena, who's closer to Kai than before, my stomach churns.
"I'm kind of tired," I say, my legs feeling weak, she frowns.
"You have to come, who's gonna banter with me" Dylan adds, making me smile.
"I'm too tired to keep up with our banter" I joke, he chuckles
"come on Vi" Kalani pleads, I groan not wanting to look at Deena flirt with Kai.
"Fine I guess I'm hungry," I say, making Kalani cheer. She pulls me along, in front of everyone else.
"I think I'm getting somewhere with Dylan" she whispers excitedly
"Yeah I saw you guys laughing earlier, cute" I respond, she cheers gleefully, making me laugh.
"How did things with Haku go?" I ask, she shrugs.
"He apologized, told me he was so sorry that he wanted to try again," she says staring down at her feet.
"What did you tell him?" I ask
"I told him to fuck off, there's no way I could forgive him enough to try again" she recites, making me smile proudly.
"Good," I say, she shrugs
"Are you okay with Deena being here?" she asks surprising me.
"I hate her K like I want to beat her" I blurt, Kalani chuckles
"That makes sense" she retorts
"No it doesn't she can flirt with Kai, we aren't together," I say
"It's normal Vi, it's not like you don't have feelings for Kai anymore, you just aren't ready to pursue them" she quips, I stare at her shocked, she shrugs.
"What, I can be quite inquisitive" she adds making me laugh-snort.
"Guys, wait up" Dylan yells, We stop.
"I'm sticking with you guys cause I don't enjoy Deena much," he says, making me like him more.
"I'm glad we're friends" I retort, he chuckles giving me a weird look.
"You don't enjoy her either?" he asks, I shake my head.
"She seems fake" He adds, syncing with our steps towards the Diner.
"Right, she seems all nice and shit, but she's actually super manipulative," I say, Dylan nods in response.
"She is only a couple feet behind us," Kalani says, worry in her voice.
"She's preoccupied showing Kai this new song" Dylan responds, my body turns cold. Of course, as soon as we break up, she goes for it.
"You okay?" Kalani asks
"Yeah, we aren't together she can show him any song she wants" I admit, my body aching slightly.
"The song's stupid if that helps, and I thought you guys were working on things" Dylan states
"No, we decided to be friends" I respond, he nods. We finally get to the diner, my body ready for the copious amounts of food I'm about to ingest.
"Here we go," Dylan says rubbing his hands together.
"You guys walk super fast," Deena says as we all hop into the nearest booth.
"That's weird considering I'm the shortest one here," I say, making everyone chuckle slightly except Deena. We all order, Deena orders a salad confusing me immensely, why does she eat like a rabbit.
"So, I see you two made up, the last I saw Kai here wanted to kill you," Deena says, pointing her finger at Dylan.
"Yeah, we're all good" Kai says, his eyes darting to me.
"I definitely won't piss him off again, I thought I was going to die" Dylan jokes, making Kai chuckle.
"We all did" Deena adds, her eyes landing on me
"What about you two, all good?" she asks, her eyes sharp
"Yeah, all good," I say smiling at Kai, who smirks at me.
"So the rumors aren't true," She says taking a bite of her salad, I turn to her confused.
"What rumors?" I ask she gives me a weird look
"That you guys broke up" she explains, I shift uncomfortably.
"We did break up" I state staring at my food.
"Oh, I just assumed. I'm sorry I didn't mean to make everything uncomfortable" She says, her mouth in a thin line.  It might be the light, but It almost looks like she's holding back a smile.
"No, we're all good. We're friends" I say, shaking off my anxiety.
"For now" Kai adds making me throw a fry at him.