Finding Me

Fuzzy

A loud knock wakes me up. I spring out of bed, disoriented. Another knock sounds and I quickly rush to the door. I open the door and Kalani stands there.
"Jesus K I was sleeping" I say, she rushes in, I shut the door.
"Sorry, I just need to talk to you" she says, I sigh
"I don't want to talk about Kai" I say heading to the kitchen, she follows.
"But it's important" she says, I sigh
"No, I don't care for his excuses okay" I say, she sighs looking confused.
"So you're really done?" She asks
"Ya" I nod
"You guys haven't talked" she urges, I shrug
"Well I don't really feel like hearing his side right now" I explain moving to sit on the couch. The door swings open then and Dylan walks in.
"Hey" he smiles sitting down beside me
"Why are you here?" Kalani asks, Dylan shrugs
"I was bored wanted to hang" he explains, she sigh.
"Can you please tell her she needs to talk to Kai" Kalani says, Dylan hugs a pillow to his chest.
"I don't think she should right now" he mutters, I'm honestly a bit shocked. I thought he would want me to.
"What?" She mutters, he shrugs
"What he did was shitty and she deserves to be mad, she can talk to him when she wants to" he says, I feel a sense of relief wash over me, at least he agrees with me.
"But she needs to know what happened" she explains sounding angry.
"I do know what happened K" I say, she shakes her head
"There's more to the story" she explains, I roll my eyes
"I don't care if she kissed him and he pushed her off he still should have told me" I mumble annoyed.
"Vi" she mumbles
"Kalani please" I reply, she nods.
"I have to go, I'm meeting Jackson" she says, I nod.
"Talk later" she asks
"Ya, text me" I say, she nods turning to leave.
"That was fun" Dylan laughs, I sigh.
"So surfing?" He asks, I think it over, knowing I should but my body feels exhausted.
"Come on" he nudges me.
"Fine" I relent, he cheers standing. I hurry and get ready, and grab a towel from the hall closet. It feels like Dylan's the only one I can stand to be around right now.
...
The water actually does wonders for me. It makes me forget about all the stupid drama in my life, and it leaves me exhausted in a good way. I lay back on the surfboard, letting the waves rock me back and forth I stare up at the now setting sun, the blast of purple shoots through the clouds.  Of course as soon as I settle in a quick picture of Sammie and Kai kissing passes through my head. I quickly shut my eyes shaking my head slightly. The image burns inside my eyelids making me groan loudly. I sit up, and notice Dylan making his way towards me.
"You ready to go in?" He asks out of breath. His hair is wet and water drips down his face.
"Can we drink?" I ask, he looks confused.
"Like at the bonfire?" I ask, he nods. We paddle side by side till we get to the shore. I notice Sammie as soon as I step into the sand. She's holding a cup, and laughing loudly at something someone said. My skin burns as she turns her eyes catching mine. Her smile drops slightly, her face sympathetic, making me feel nauseous.
"Should we get a drink?" Dylan asks hand on my back, I nod. He grabs us beers and we sit down close to the fire, the heat drying our bodies.
"You sure your okay?" He asks leaning in closer.
"Ya fine" I lie, my stomach twisting, he nods.
"I can't talk about it yet" I blurt, he nods
"Let's drink" he cheers making me smile. I end up getting pretty tipsy, and dancing in the sand, Dylan by my side. Dylan takes my hands spinning me around, a sudden pang hits me and I still, my brain sloshing slightly. A wave of déjà Vu hits me and a fuzzy picture pops into my head. My lips tingle, and my skin heats.
"What's wrong?" He asks, I shake the weird feeling from my head.
"Nothing sorry just danced too hard" I laugh, he nods chuckling.
"Would you mind driving me back home?" I ask knowing he hasn't been drinking.
"Of course, lets get our shit" he replies. We grab our boards and bags and head up to his car. I still feel weird like something's missing and I don't know what. We drive in relative silence, the breeze filtering in from the windows. Some soft music plays quietly, and honestly I could fall asleep. Dylan doesn't come in, I tell him I'm not really feeling well. I head to my room, needing this strange feeling to leave. I tunnel under my blankets sighing loudly. My phone rings out but I don't check it. I shift turning to look out my window. My aunt and uncle get back tomorrow which is nice. The picture pops into my head again but I can't place it, it's like a movie. It's a feeling I have which is confusing me even more. I turn on Netflix deciding to play some of The Office to get my
Mind off of it. My phone rings again. I check it this time just in case. Kai's name flashes on my screen, and my stomach drops. I let the phone ring out staring at his smiling picture. I see a couple texts from him on my locks screen. I haven't checked any of them. I'm scared of the sadness that comes with them. Worse I think I could forgive him for it, but I promised myself I would never forgive someone who cheated on me. I sigh closing my eyes. Kai cheated and that's why he was acting so clingy, he felt guilty. Embarrassment wraps around me weighing me down into my bed. Once the first tear drops they don't stop all night.