Sewn h.s [book one]

Chapter 50

**1 year later**

Dear diary,

The boys went on your 3 months ago. They just left.

Shyanne was left with me.

I moved back to Ireland. Shyanne came with me.

We swore we were going to forget about them. Only because every time we see them, we get attached. Then it's hell when they leave.

Their tour is due to end soon. I'm pretty sure. Shyanne's been counting down the days, and well. I found you.

The nightmares have been coming back frequently. Some more graphic than others. It's scaring me. They never used to be this bad, I mean, they scared me then, but this is horrible. Blood, guts, death.

I was never afraid of death, in fact, I wanted death.

But now, I see that there is too much to live for.

I've been clean for just over a year. It makes me happy, knowing I haven't died yet.

Sounds corny but it's the truth.

I'll be honest, I am afraid.

I'm afraid of what will happen if Harry comes back.

I'm afraid of what will happen if I relapse.

I'm afraid of everything it seems.

Not everything, just everything relating to Harry.

It's scary.

I've been honest with you quite a lot actually. I never used to tell the truth. Never.

I guess I'll be going now, but I'll speak with you soon.

Kimberly.

I close my diary, which I only just found. I set it beside my bed.

I remember, I had this nightmare, and Harry was trying to kill me, so I ran to Niall. He made it better.

Niall seems to make everything better. He's just that sort of guy.

An ear piercing scream sounds through the house.

I run to where the noise came from, the living room.

"Shyanne!" I huffs, placing a hand over my heart.

"They're finished!" Shyanne screams, crossing off the last day in red.

"Yeah." I sigh, a smile forcing itself on my face.

"Cheer up Kimmie!" Shyanne smiles, skipping over to me and jumping up at down.

"Mm... I need sleep." I sigh, looking out the window. It has to be around midday.

"Okay!" Shyanne smiles and skips around the house.

I walk to my old room, which I used to share with Harry. I close my eyes, and shuffle in the bed.

They're finished their tour? Despite the amount of time I've been away from them, I miss them. I miss Harry. I love Harry.

I think I'm over the whole, Harry not proposing to me thing. I'm not sure I could possibly handle Harry leaving every two months for another tour.

Paparazzi.

They ask so many stupid fucking questions.

Pisses me off quite a bit actively to be honest.

I sigh dramatically, I toss and turn.

I can't get to sleep.

Images of Harry are all I can see. Flashing through my mind. I can't stand it.