Sewn h.s [book one]

Chapter 57

Harry cradles me on the tour bus. We’ve been sitting here, in this position, for a while now. We’ve been talking with Zayn, Liam and Lou, just about everything.

Harry and the boys were taking me to one last stadium before I was going back home. The boys, coming with me.

“Last show…” Liam smiles, spaced out.

I’ve made the decision that I’m going to stay backstage tonight. I don’t want to cause the fans more pain and agony.

“Yeah, how fun has it been though? We’ve done some pretty amazing stuff, and this won’t be the last time we tour…” Zayn adds, looking around the moving bus.

Zayn’s right. It won’t be the last time they tour. I love the boys touring, I just miss them… I don’t have anything to entertain me.

I heard a sudden shout from the front of the bus, and the shuffling of footsteps.

“Hey Kimpoo, look at this!” Niall’s voice echoes through the bus and I wiggle out of Harry’s arms, walking over to Niall. I hear Harry groan and sigh dramatically.

“What is it?”

Niall chuckles.

“A video from last night, it has over a million hits already! You've gotta see it!”

Harry’s face lightened as I smiled at him, he send a quick smile back.

The video played through the laptop, screams echoing through the bus.

The video makes me remember the events of last night.

He told me he loved me, he announced our engagement to the fans. It felt so right, to be there with him.

The feeling was so great, it made me happy, Harry makes me happy.

The feeling of his lips against mine felt so good.

The way our lips moved in sync, the fans screaming loudly, all seemed so perfect.

The video finishes, and I smile widely.

Shyanne and I exchange quick smiles, before Niall starts doing other stuff on the laptop, distracting me from Shyanne.

Niall scrolls down and reads some of the comments, gasping at them.

Go die in a hole.

Slut! Harry’s mine, go find some other guy, you hoe!

We all see those scars on your wrist, go cut skank.

Harry can do so much better! He’ll get over you soon

Go kill yourself, you don’t deserve to breathe.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks, sniffling silently.

“I had no idea…” Niall stutters, looking directly at me and sending me a worried glance.

I nod in response and stand, ignoring Harry’s attempt to grab my hand.

I wonder to the beds, sitting on one. I couldn’t care less whose it is.

I thought this was over, I thought my darker days were over. Are they coming back now, making up for the time I was happy?

I was happy, with Harry. Harry made me happy, and I forgot about it, I forgot about the hateful words, hateful thoughts, the hateful world.

I sit with my head pressed against the coated timber.

Do I deserve this?

I've lived like this long enough, don't you think it should be over?