Adrenaline Rush (iKon Fanfic) Jinhwan x Reader

Chapter 37

"Why can't you just be more like Sooyoung?!"

Silence. You looked at how furiously red Jinhwan's cheeks were from frustration. You saw the rage that burned in his eyes as he looked down at you. Sooyoung. It was Sooyoung all along.

"S.....Sooyoung...." you repeated quietly. You saw how Jinhwan's eyes widened when he realized what he had said.
"So she was why you were annoyed of me." you said quietly. Jinhwan opened his mouth to say something but no sound came out. You felt your heart throb and tears began to form in your eyes.
"So she was the person you were referring to. She was the person you were comparing me to." you said shakily.
"N-No, no, that's not what I-"
"How could you even ask me that question, Jinhwan?" you asked. You tried to compose yourself, but you felt your heart slowly begin to crumble. There were feelings that you were hiding back and they were about to burst. It was like you were about to break.
"W-Wait, I-I can explain!" he stammered. You clenched your fists and bit your lip, your eyes becoming damp as you gave him a heartbroken look.

"I always saw you staring at Sooyoung at school. You always looked at her and then to me, but I didn't think that you were actually judging me. You really thought lowly of me because I wasn't as pretty as her?" you asked him, voice breaking. You couldn't believe how stupid Jinhwan was.
"You hated me because I didn't have as many clothes as her? You were disgusted of me because I didn't have as many friends as her? What, did you now realize that I'm not as great as everyone else? I thought you loved me even though I wasn't perfect, I thought you loved me because I wasn't like Sooyoung! Were you lying to me the entire time?! Were you just playing with me for fun, what the absolute Hell, Jinhwan?!" you yelled. Tears blurred your vision, but you quickly wiped them away with your arms. Jinhwan swallowed as he looked at you with a guilty yet startled expression.

"Please....j-just let me explain everything-"
"Explain what?! Are you going to explain how you completely neglected me because of her?! Are you going to explain why you suddenly started to compare me to her?! Are you going to explain why it suddenly seems like this entire relationship was a compete joke?!" you shouted, your voice breaking again in the middle of it. You let out a sob as your tears fell. Jinhwan stared at you with wide eyes, mortified at what he had started. His own eyes were damp as well and his face showed of nothing but guilt and fear.

"Are you going to tell me why you always do this to me? Are you going to tell me why I have to receive this much hate from you after loving you so much? Are you going to tell me why Sooyoung is suddenly so important to you?" you sobbed.
"Sh-She's not...." he said.
"Cut the bullcrap already! I had to go through Hell because of her! Why do you keep doing this to me?! Why do I have to hurt so much because of you?!" you said as tears poured down your face. A single tear trailed down Jinhwan's cheek as he watched you cry. He couldn't do anything, but it also seemed like he was afraid to. He was panicking.

"How convincing were the things your mother said about me that you straight up fell for another girl afterwards?" you asked harshly as you shot a glare at him through your tears.
"I-I don't, I didn't, i-if you could just let me-"
"I thought looks didn't matter to you, but apparently I was wrong. I thought you were different than others, but apparently I was wrong!" you said. Jinhwan's eyes widened as he saw you head for the door.
"W-Wait, wh-where are you going?" he asked.
"I'm going to let you think about how much of a total jerk you've become after one thing your mother said about me." you said harshly before opening the door. Jinhwan became a bit frantic after that. Fear had engulfed around him.
"N-No, (Y/N), please don't-"
"Don't ask me to be more like Sooyoung. Just go date her yourself." you said shakily before slamming the door and leaving him in your house.

You didn't know where you were going once you came out. You just began to walk faster until you were running. You didn't know what the Hell you were doing, but all you wanted to do at that moment was stay as far away from him as possible, and somehow you found yourself standing in front of Ara's house. You hesitated before knocking on the door shakily. You were expecting Ara to open the door, but it was Chanwoo who answered the door. His eyes widened.
"N-Noona, why're you-"
"I don't know what happened!" you said as you crashed into his chest and uncontrollably began to break down.
"U-Uh, Oh God, Ara!!" Chanwoo called inside as he held you while you sobbed.
"Noona, it's okay, i-it'll be okay! Please don't....don't cry..." He said as he tried to comfort you by patting your back. Ara came over to the door and gasped.
"Oh my God, (Y/N)!"

She brought you over to the couch and you were trying to calm yourself, but you couldn't seem to stop crying. Ara brought you into a hug and pat your back.
"It's okay, (Y/N). Everything's going to be okay, stop crying, we're' here. You'll be okay, right? You're okay." she said as you began to calm down. You sniffed as you wiped your tears. Chanwoo sat down on the floor next to the couch and gave you a sympathetic look.
"Okay, (Y/N). Now what happened?" Ara asked. You almost cried again at the mention of that, but you held it in and took a deep breath.
"We fought." you said shortly.
"With Jay?" she asked. You nodded.

"Alright, let's start from the beginning. Where did this start?" Ara asked.
"He started ignoring me since Sunday." you said.
"He was weirdly quiet around us....I was wondering if something was up." Chanwoo said.
"I got fed up with it because he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. He was mad at me and he wouldn't tell me, so I confronted him about it." you said shakily.
"Okay, and what happened?" Ara asked.
"I was right, he was mad at me, but apparently because of something his Mom said. He compared me with Sooyoung. He yelled at me, saying that he wished I was more like her. He said that he hated how I didn't wear clothes like her and that I didn't have a lot of friends. He said I was annoying." you said, getting frustrated.
"Hyung really said that? But...he wouldn't say something like that." Chanwoo said.
"But he did." you growled.

Ara sighed.
"I'm going to guess that everything broke apart there." she said.
"I cried. I freaking cried. I shouldn't have but I freaking did, and my emotions got to me. I yelled at him and even if he suddenly realized that he did something wrong, I left him there. I left him in my own house, I kicked myself out of my own house, I don't know what the Hell I'm doing!" you yelled, your tears coming out again. You started to cry as worry surrounded you.
"I don't know what happened! I wish I wasn't such an idiot!" you cried. Chanwoo rubbed your arm when you started to cry again.
"Well, is he still in your house?" Ara asked.
"I don't know." you said as you covered your face.
"Did he say where he was going to go?" Ara asked.
"He's probably with that dirty witch for all I care! He probably left the house and went to her again, he probably feels relieved that he doesn't need to deal with me anymore!" you cried.
"That can't be right, (Y/N). He'd have to break up with you to do that. Did he really end everything with you during the fight?" Ara asked.

"I DON'T KNOW!" you shouted, creating an immediate silence in the atmosphere.

"I don't freaking know."