Adrenaline Rush (iKon Fanfic) Jinhwan x Reader

Chapter 40

Author's Note: I'm extremely sorry that this update was so late, this week was really crappy for me and I was constantly stressed, it caused a whole bunch of writer's block and I didn't really have the time to type. I feel so bad for making you guys wait ㅠ ㅠ
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"Come on, (Y/N), please?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'll throw up like last time, Bobby."
"But you have to eat something! You can't just starve yourself, and you sure Hell aren't going to try to while I'm around!"

You sighed.
"Please? Just a little bit? You don't have to eat all of it....." Bobby said.
"Fine." you replied. Bobby gave you a spoon. You took it and stared at the bowl of Juk (porridge) that your brother made you. Lately you haven't had much of an appetite and it was hard for you to eat anything. The last time you tried to eat, you forced yourself to eat more than you could take and ended up puking. The problem was that the amount you ate that time wasn't a lot. You knew starving yourself wasn't going to end well, but you never felt like eating.

"Just try a tiny bit." Bobby said. You took a half a spoonful of the Juk and put it in your mouth. It was a bit bland, but that was how everything else tasted for the past few days.
"It's good." you said.
"Really?" Bobby asked. You nodded and slowly took a bigger spoonful. It was easier to eat than all the other food. Bobby's face lit up. He sat next to you.
"I....don't think I can finish all of this, though." you said quietly.
"That's okay, as long as you eat something." Bobby said. Bobby's been taking care of you ever since he came back home, and there were drastic changes in that time period. It was harder for you to sleep or eat. You didn't think your breakup was going to affect you this much, but it was worst than you had ever imagined.

Once you finished at least half of it, you didn't feel like eating anymore so you got up and went upstairs to your room. A few minutes later, your mother came in quietly.
"(Y/N)?" she said.
"Hey, Mom." you replied quietly.
"How's your appetite? Did you eat anything?" she asked as she sat next to you on the bed. "....just a little bit." you said.
"That's good."

You laid down with a sigh.
"Is this normal?" you asked.
"Hm?" your mother said.
"Like I know that a breakup is supposed to be really sad and should affect you a lot, but is this even normal? I can't eat, sleep, or do much of anything at all just because me and Jinhwan broke up." you said.
"Sweetie, anything can happen because of these things. You and Jinhwan had something really special, and I know the two of you loved each other more than you've ever loved in your entire life. You fought and it had a big impact on you." your mother spoke.
"We didn't just fight, Mom." you replied as you covered your face.
"Are you sure you really broke up with him?" your mother asked.
"What?"

"How are you so sure that the two of you even broke up?" she asked again.
"Is that even a question? Of course we did! He left after he said-"
"That he's breaking up with you and that he needs space?" your mother cut you off and finished your sentence.
"Well........no." you said quietly.
"Exactly. You can't assume that he broke up with you because you fought. It was your first fight in your relationship. Sure, it was really intense because he spilled something he shouldn't have and you felt like he was somehow cheating on you, but you said that you left the house before he could say anything else."

"But Mom, that fight was different from a regular argument. It really felt like a breakup. He never bothers to talk or even look at me anymore. He probably likes Sooyoung, and he even proved it." you replied.
"Well, you never know, (Y/N). Jinhwan is a good person, and believe me when I say that I know who a worthless one is like." your mother said before standing up and leaving the room. You heard the door close. Your chest began to ache and you felt a tear slip out. He really did seemed like a good person. You thought as you began to cry on your bed.

~~time skip to the next day~~

School was unbearable too. You got to see Jinhwan, but he didn't spare you a glance and didn't speak a word to you. Whenever he accidentally locked eyes with you, you tried to wave at him, but he looked away before you could. It always made your heart ache. You wanted to be friends with him at least, but then you realized that it wasn't going to be that easy. It was going to take ages to patch up your relationship.

There were lots of instances when Sooyoung would constantly shoot you an evil grin, too. You assumed that she figured out. Usually when Sooyoung shoots a look at you, you would shoot one back to her, but for some reason you couldn't. Being around her made you feel......self conscious. That's how Jinhwan wanted you to be, you don't have a right to fight back. You would tell yourself whenever you saw her.

When you came home, you were tired, but you couldn't sleep. It was complete agony. Your entire life was miserable, and there wasn't even one thing good about it. You dropped your backpack on the floor before going upstairs. You went into your room silently. While you were walking, you accidentally bumped your knee onto the corner of your desk and you yelped. Then you also heard a loud crack. Your eyes widened at the sound and whipped around to see what fell. It was a picture frame.

You went to pick it up, but stopped when you saw the picture. It was the first selfie you and Jinhwan took together after you became a relationship. That triggered something in you because you were crying the next second. You were letting out shaky breaths as tears slid down your face. Those soon turned into sobs as you were leaning against the wall. How did we become like this? You thought as you cried. You hugged the cracked picture frame and leaned against the wall as you cried heavily, all the emotions and feelings you were holding in attacking you at once.

I'm not mad. You thought in your head. I'm not mad anymore. You continued to cry as you hugged the frame tighter. I'm not mad at you, I don't hate you. The tears fell endlessly and didn't stop. Just talk to me. You thought. Just look at me. The memories you created with him came back to you at that moment and you cried harder. You remembered when the two of you used to be happy. You weren't mad at him anymore.

I miss you, Jinhwan. I miss you so much.