you come first. (mattia polibio)

an unpleasant family dinner (part 26)

My dad and Jill sat down in the two empty seats. I felt my blood boil with anger. I wanted to flip this table and run away forever. I clenched my first and plastered a smile on my face.

"Hi Luna!" My dad said.
"Hello," I said.

Jill and I looked at eachother for a split second then looked away.

"So what brought you two here?" I asked.
"I was going to ask the same thing..." Gianna said.
"Actually your mom invited us," My dad said. 
"Since they were both in town I thought it would be nice to all get together he hasn't seen the Polibio's in a whole or Gianna," My mom said.
"Right..." I said.

The waiter came to the table and we all ordered our drinks. Everyone was talking with one another and there wasn't much tension surprisingly. I felt Mattia look at me and I looked at him. I stared into his eyes. Even though I'm not happy with him right now just looking into his eyes made me feel safe.
"So Mattia..." I heard my dad say.

Mattia looked away from me and looked at my dad.

"I heard you are going to UCLA for soccer," My dad said.
"Yes sir I am," Mattia said.
"You and Luna won't be that far away from eachother in college," My dad said.
"Thankfully," Mattia smiled.
"Let's hope you two last that long," My dad chuckled.

Here we go. My dad's already going at Mattia and we haven't even ordered our food yet. The waiter came and gave us all our drinks then took our food order.

"Gianna I don't think I've met you... I'm Jill," Jill says to my sister.
"Actually I have met you, Jill! Good to see you again," Gianna said.

Gianna met Jill right after I walked in on my dad cheating on my mom with Jill.
What Gianna said left Jill speechless it was very funny.

"Oh- um so Gianna I heard you just got out of rehab?" Jill asked.
"Yes..." Gianna said.
"They always tell kids that drugs are bad but some just don't listen!" Jill said laughing.
"I'd rather not talk about this with a young child at the table," Gianna said maturely.
"Whatever you say," Jill said.

Everyone talked amongst themselves again. I traced the ring of my cup with my finger as I stared down at the cup.
I felt Mattia whisper in my ear,
"Are you okay?"

I looked at him and shrugged. He looked sad in his eyes and I probably did too...
I was so distraught right now. This was not how I planned for my trip to California would go. Should I even be surprised though shit like this always happens to me. I just want to lay in my own bed, chill and do absolutely nothing. That would protect me from getting hurt.

Our food finally came. I got a plate of fettuccine alfredo and Jill looked over at me and said,
"Hun are you really going to eat all of that,"
"Mhm," I said.
"Hmm okay, so Mattia you like Luna huh?" Jill said.
"Props to you she is a lot to handle, I can't even imagine what you must go through..." Jill laughed. 
"Excuse me?" Mattia asked.
"I mean the girl has a temper and look at her dress I mean she..." Jill started to say.
"I'm right here Jill I can hear you. Can you not slut shame me for once oh my god we are at a restaurant!" I said.

I was about to lose it so I got up and walked into the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and started to cry. I tried to breathe deep breaths to try and calm myself down. It didn't really help. I wiped my tears and walked out of the stall. I looked in the mirror then cleaned up my makeup. I just stood in the bathroom for sometime to get away from that mess out there.

I walked back to the table after a while then sat down to hear my dad say,
"What do you think about the girls living with me part time?"
"No," I said.
"I wasn't asking you, Luna," My dad said.
"I'm not living with you or Jill," I said.
"Luna tone it down a little," My mom said.
"Okay but I don't wanna live with people who make me feel uncomfortable," I said.
"Luna I think you are overreacting," My dad said.
"No I'm not. You left me and cheated on my mom. You all of a sudden came back into my life and you criticize me about dating Mattia and don't even get me started on Jill. Jill, you constantly slut shame me for wearing literally anything. When my dad leaves the room you always have something cruel to say to me. You are a grown woman it's pathetic," I said.

Everyone at the table was left speechless. I sat back and crossed my arms.

"Luna I don't want to talk about this at dinner stop embarrassing yourself," My dad said.

"Embarrass myself? Look at you! You're the one embarrassing yourself in front of everyone I love even more than you already have in the past. You being here is embarrassing, not to mention you brining your new girlfriend or whatever Jill is to you is embarrassing. Is this supposed to be like a new good first impression because that's not working. All you have done is embarrass yourself and hurt me even more," I said standing up.
"Luna sit back down," My dad said.
"No! I don't want to be around you or Jill. I'm leaving," I said walking out of the restaurant.

I started to walk in the direction of the hotel. I felt the cold breeze hit my shoulders as I was walking. My vision started to blur as tears formed in my eyes. Soon I felt a river of tears run down my cheeks. I felt someone grab my hand. I turned around and saw Mattia. He let go of my hand and took off his jacket and put it over my shoulders. I put his jacket on and looked up at him. I started to cry even more. He pulled me in and just hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him and cried as he held me tightly.

(Author's Note: i'm kinda unhappy with this chapter. idk i just don't think it's that good so i'm sorry about that :( sorry i upload at weird times my sleep schedule is so messed up and i always end up writing these at like 2am. oops.)