you come first. (mattia polibio)

loud days, rough nights (part 78)

(luna's pov)

it was a wednesday at around noon we were all at the beach. the boys were all in the water and i was tanning next to naya. we were both talking about jeremiah, in a good way, of course. celeste was setting up a picnic. she just about finished setting it up and the boys came out from the water. us girls sat on the picnic blanket. mattia walked out from the water and began to walk towards me. he turned his head and his mouth slightly opened, like he was in shock. alejandro, kairi and alvaro's faces all were changed from joy to shock. alejandro, kai and alvaro all whispered something to eachother. i turned in the direction that mattia began to walk in and there she was, jenna... my mouth opened wide. she walked towards mattia, with an innocent smile on her face. mattia gave her a tight hug and she smiled up at him. they both walked in the opposite direction from us and talked with eachother.

"i'm gonna be sick" i said getting up and walking towards our house.

kairi chased after me and grabbed my arm.

"luna..." kairi said.
"what" i said, annoyed.
"you know their history, they haven't seen eachother in a while. well they haven't talked at least, they are just catching up" kairi said trying to comfort me.
"i don't give a fuck, these trips always go to shit and i'm tired of it. i don't wanna be here" i said.
"luna, you have all of us. also that doesn't mean anything. mattia loves you, they are just talking with eachother. if mattia were to even think of doing anything to hurt you he's crazy, if i had you i couldn't even fathom saying a word to another girl" kairi said staring into my eyes.

i stood there awkwardly the kairi said,

"i mean- uh- a girl like you"

i nodded.

"don't go, luna" kairi said.
"i don't even have a car, kairi. i'm just gonna go inside" i said, quickly walking inside.

i walked into the house and walked upstairs. i took a quick, hot shower then put on sweatpants and a large t shirt. i got under the covers of my bed and turned on the tv. i watched 'grey's anatomy' for a bit. i then drifted off into sleep.

i woke up and the sun was setting. i checked my phone and it was 8pm. no one was in my room. i got up and felt the house shaking. then i heard voices and music coming from downstairs. a party. a fucking party. great. i walked into the bathroom and looked at my hair and outfit. i was wearing sweats and i had bed head. i don't even care. i went downstairs and there were dozens and dozens of teens that filled the house. i pushes through the crowd into the kitchen. there kairi was, bar tending, of course. he says it's his "passion". i opened the fridge and got left over pancakes. i microwaved them and plugged my ears as i waited. i took my pancakes out of the microwave and put syrup on them. i walked through the living room and this girl was throwing it back on some guy, they were blocking the way upstairs.

"can you leave room for jesus and let me through?" i said.

they both were embarrassed and shuffled away. i walked up to my room to see two people making out up against the wall.

"out out out i'm trying to watch netflix not porn hub" i said.

they both walked out laughing. i shut the door and sat down in my bed. i watched more 'grey's anatomy' and ate my pancakes.  mattia stumbled into our room.

"oh god" i mumbled.

he threw himself onto me.

"120 and 5'4 sir, i think you forgot, big guy" i said pushing him off of me.
"come downstairs you party pooper" mattia said.
"no" i said.
"come onnnn" he said.
"i'm good. thanks" i said.

mattia climbed on top of me and started to kiss my neck.

"you are drunk, mattia. let me get you some water" i said trying to get up.

mattia's strong hand held my waist down and kissed me. i turned my head away, dodging the next kiss. mattia put his fingers on the waistband of my pants and began to pull them off. i pushed him off and pulled up my sweatpants.

"mattia! who the fuck are you?" i yelled.
"chill!" he yelled.

i gave him my glass of water and made him drink some. he did. he handed it back to me and i put it down.

"sober up. alcohol is ugly on you" i said to him.
"i'm just having some fun" he said.
"you don't need to be intoxicated to have fun" i said walking to my side of the bed.
"sorry" he said.

i sat down and didn't say anything. mattia got up and stumbled out of our room. i shook my head. i tried to watch more tv but i couldn't hear it over the loud music. i went downstairs and again, pushed myself through the crowd and out the back door. i walked out to the beach. i sat down and watch the waves glimmer from the moonlight. i laid down on my towel and closed my eyes. i stayed there for a while. then after a long time of being alone i heard someone say, 

"you okay?"

i opened my eyes and it was jeremiah. he sat down next to me and i sat up. i shrugged.

"why aren't you in there?" i asked.
"i don't drink really" he told me.
"good choice" i said.
"why aren't you?" he asked.
"i don't either" i said staring into the water.
"are you out here because of the fight?" jeremiah asked.
"the what?" i said turning towards him.
"oh..." he said.

(an: i'm sorry, i'm going thru a lot and writing fanfic is the last thing i want to do, unfortunately)