you come first. (mattia polibio)

blood (part 33)

(part 33)
The school day was over and I was walking past the field to my car. Mattia ran up to me from the field since he had practice and said,
"Hey Luna, do you wanna hang after my practice?"
"Sure" I said.
"Okay bye" Mattia said smiling and running back over to his team.

I got into my car and drove home. My mom was home from work already and said to me,
"Hi, how was your day?"
"It was good, thanks" I said.

I started to walk upstairs and my mom said,
"Wait Luna, help me make dinner tonight"
"Okay. I'll be right down" I said walking up the stairs.

I went in my room and put my phone and backpack down then walked back downstairs into the kitchen. My mom was making tortillas and pozole.
"Can you fry the tortillas?" My mom asked me.

I fried the tortillas then helped my mom make the pozole.

"Why are we making dinner?" I asked her. "Well, we have company actually..." My mom said.
"Okay" I said not thinking anything of it, it was probably family dinner with the Polibio's tonight.

After about 2 hours my mom and I finished making dinner and she got out drinks for everyone and I helped her set the table.

"Gianna! Come down here!" My mom yelled.

My sister walked down the stairs and my mom said,

"Girls please have a seat."

We both sat down and my mom walked up to our front door as the doorbell rang. I was ready to see the Polibio's loving family walk in but instead we were greeted by a not so loving family.

"You are fucking kidding me!" I yelled.
"Luna!" My mom hissed.
"What the fuck are they doing here?" I yelled.
"Zip it!" My mom snapped.

My Dad and Jill sat down at our dining room table and I crossed my arms.

"Well hello to you too" My dad said to me.

I made a face at him.

"What's going on?" Gianna asked.

My mom sat down and served everyone and my dad said,

"We actually had something to tell you girls" My dad said.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Jill is pregnant!" My dad said cheerfully.

My mom sighed and Gianna said,
"Are you serious?" Gianna said.
"Yes" Jill said.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I screamed at my dad.
"Are you not happy for us?
"No! Why would you bring in another baby into this world just to make them sad? You really wanna fuck up a third child's life?" I said getting up from the table.
"Luna... what do you mean by that?" My mom asked.
"I'm just saying that he's selfish for wanting to have another kid. He's bringing another innocent baby into this world just to make them want to leave it" I said.
"Another?" My mom said.
"I mean yeah... Gianna overdosed because of him and I'm fucking depressed and anxious. I wouldn't want to fuck up another kid's life" I said.
"Are you saying you wish you weren't brought into this world...?" My mom asked me sadly.
"I mean yeah... sometimes" I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.
"Luna..." My dad said.
"Don't even try. You keep fucking up my life even more every time I see you. Just leave me alone" I said running up to my room.

I shut the door and sat on my bed. I held my head in my hands and cried. My dad opened my bedroom door and I got up and stood in front of the window, backing away from him.
"Leave me alone!" I yelled.
"Luna, you're my daughter I can't leave you alone" My dad said.
"Get out" I said.
"I know you don't mean this. You're a nice girl, Luna. I'm your father don't throw our relationship away" He said.
"Get out!" I yelled.
"Luna. I know you are probably just feeling some jealousy right now. I know it's hard to accept that you will have a sibling with another mom and the new baby will probably take up the attention you usually get..."
"What the fuck? Why would you even say that? I don't want your attention can't you tell?! Get out!" I screamed.
"Luna listen to me!" My dad yelled.
"Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!" I literally screamed at the top of my lungs.

My dad backed away, almost afraid of me. He left my room and gently started to shut my door. I slammed it while he was still shutting it. I sat down on my bed and stared down at my floor. I then looked up and saw my window was wide open. I saw Mattia's figure in his bedroom window, which was also open. Shit. That means he heard everything. Shit! I was supposed to see him. I didn't even tell him I couldn't hang out. I closed my window and curtains and checked my phone.

m❤️🤞:
hey practice is over i'm back home

m❤️🤞:
so you can come over now

(1 hour later)

m❤️🤞:
luna what is happening

m❤️🤞:
what's going on?!

m❤️🤞:
are you okay?

I turned off my phone and got in my shower. I cried as I was trying to wash my hair. I couldn't even focus on finishing washing my hair. I started to breathe heavily and rapidly. I was so angry at my dad and Jill. I feel like I have no one who can remotely understand me and that's what hurts too. Yes the fact that I have a psycho father hurts a lot but no one really listens to me. Sure Mattia and the guys all always apologize but I just want someone to listen to me rant. I want someone to actually listen to my problems and not just say, 'Damn I'm so sorry'. I'm so sick of that shit. I hate dealing with this shit. My father won't leave my life and my mom doesn't even stop him from making appearances. Everyone is so oblivious. Everyone I love has seen me yell and scream in public at my father, everyone has heard what he says to me, everyone has seen me cry because of him, yet no one does anything.
I clenched my first and rammed it into the tile wall of my shower. I unclenched my first and groaned. I examined my hand. My every one of my knuckles were bleeding and my hand felt extremely weak. I watched the blood dilute as the water from the shower hit my hand. I watched the blood drip down into the drain and leave a temporary stain on the tile. I held up my hand in front of my face and watched the blood run down my forearm. Great, now I have another ducked up hand, thank you dad.

(author's note: sorry if this chapter is triggering to anyone, i'm aware that it's somewhat graphic and very sad. i hope you all still enjoyed. thank you all so much for the votes and 46k reads. i cherish and love all of you so much. reading your comments makes me so happy, thank you❤️)