Finding the Missing Piece: Book 2

Chapter Eighty-Four

Katniss POV- (A month later, February)

"Peeta! No!" I scream in my dream.

Actually, out loud.

Peeta gasps and jumps up as I wake, terrorized with fear.

"It was just a dream. It's okay, it wasn't real." Peeta pats my nearly bare back.

I cringe at his touch.

"I can't take these nightmares anymore. They've been going on for over a month solid. I can't take it."

Peeta rubs my back gently, "I know. You have to keep going, it'll get better." He whispers assuringly.

"Peeta, nothing is helping. You're not helping, the sleep medicine doesn't help, the tea you've made me hasn't helped, nothing is helping. I can't keep living like this." I groan into my pillow.

"You can. You have for awhile now, way longer than I've been in your life. You can do it." He tells me.

I shake my head, "I can't. I need this to stop. I am crazy, Peeta." I admit to him.

He chuckles a little, "You're not crazy, Katniss. You're just having a tough time. You have a rough past and you get scared easily. You have trauma." Peeta says.

"I know but I can't take it. I need help."

Peeta begins steadily patting my back with his warm palms, "We can get you some help." He suggests.

I shake my head and turn over onto my back and his hand rests on my rib cage, "I don't think it'll fix me." I say truthfully.

Peeta shrugs, "Well, I don't know what else to do. I don't even help you anymore."

I shake my head, "Yeah, you do. Just not after I fall asleep." I tell him.

"I just wish you didn't have to go through this." Peeta whispers to me.

I close my eyes tightly and let darkness overtake me once again.

The next time I open my eyes, I wake to the mid afternoon light and realize I've slept all day.

I glance at the click and see it's 2:30pm.

At least I got a little sleep.

I drag myself out of bed and down the stairs to find Peeta watching tv on the couch.

I sit down next to him and he smiles, "Oh, hey." He says, patting my knee.

I smile sadly, "Hey." I say.

"No more nightmares?" He asks.

I shake my head, "I don't know. I don't think so." I admit.

He nods sadly at me, "You still want me to find you some help?" He asks.

I shrug, "I don't know. I don't know when you stopped helping me, honestly. Used to, just sleeping next to you would help, you holding me but it doesn't work like that anymore."

Peeta frowns, "I'm sorry. I wish there was more I could do for you, Katniss." He says guiltily.

I frown, "It's not your fault. You're there for me and nothing could be better for me than that." I tell him truthfully.

Peeta takes my hand, "I'm still sorry. All I want to do is help and I can't even do that."

"Peeta, it's okay. Like you said, I've lived like this for so long, what's a little longer?"

"I shouldn't have said that. You don't deserve living like that, it shouldn't be like this." Peeta says, frustrated.

"Peeta, a lot of things shouldn't be the way they are but there's nothing we can do." I say, being the positive one now.

Peeta clenches his jaw, "Like Prim or my mom. Your dad. Bristol or your mom." He says frustrated.

I nod my head, "I know but it's okay."

Peeta's eyes turn back and forth from a cloudy blue back to their crystal clear color.

I've never seen him like this.

"Peeta, calm down." I say, growing scared.

His eyes close tightly and he grits his teeth, fighting something.

"Peeta, stop you're scaring me." I tell him truthfully, in hopes that this will make him stop.

"Katniss. It's just not fair to any of us." He clenches his fist and leans his head back.

I put my hand on his cheek, "Calm down. There's no reason to be so mad." I tell him.

A few seconds later, he seems to be back to normal, just quiet.

"I'm sorry, I just get so worked up about stuff sometimes." Peeta apologizes.

I shake my head, "It's okay, I do too." I tell him though I know I've never been like that and I've never seen him get that worked up.

Even when he's been furious with me. I don't know what just came across Peeta but I didn't like it.

His eyes turned an entirely different color.

"Peeta, your eyes-" I say and he cuts me off.

"It happens a lot. It started a few years back when I got worked up about my mom. You've just never been around me when it's happened. I'm sorry." He whispers, upset.

I feel like crying, his mother made my Peeta leave. It happens all the time but it shouldn't. Whatever just happened shouldn't have happened.

I get a sudden urge to tell him it's okay, hug him and kiss him.

So I do.

Soon, the kiss turns into more and before I know it, we are stopping one another from taking it too far.

"I love you so much, Katniss." He whispers against the skin of my collar bone.

I smile, "I love you too." I say softly.

"I'm sorry about earlier."

"It's okay."

"I guess we all have our issues, huh?"

"Absolutely." I whisper back.

That night is the first night in over a month that I've slept all night.

No nightmares haunted me that night.