Finding the Missing Piece: Book 2

Chapter Ninety

Katniss POV-

"What? I thought you were finally coming around to the idea of eventually becoming a mom?" He asks me, confused.

I have had several opinions about this.

One day, I love the idea and the next, I hate every detail.

I shrug, "Peeta, let's not start this." I tell him.

Peeta sets his half empty plate on the coffee table, "No, let's do." He says.

"Stop. I'm not discussing this with you right now." I say, getting up from my spot on the couch and walking into the kitchen.

Peeta of course, follows me in.

"Katniss. Please, just talk to me about it. Is it because of me?" Peeta asks me insecurely.

I shrug, "No. It's me, it's not you. You know I've never been too thrilled by the idea. Just stop. Please, I don't want to talk about it." I say, walking past him.

He follows, of course.

"Please? I think this is an important discussion to have. You were keen to the idea awhile back. Did I do something wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, it's just a change in feelings I've had. We can talk about it after were married." I say, hoping he will shut up already.

He already knows about the nightmares I had a while back about it all and he should be smart enough to know that's enough to change my mind.

"If that's what you want." Peeta finally gives in, though I know it's going to bother him until then.

Plus, I'm not so sure that I want the very first argument we have as newly weds to be about why I don't want children.

"That's what I want." I say and head up the stairs into our room, not even caring anymore.
Peeta doesn't follow me but instead, he comes in hours upon hours later.

I haven't been able to sleep.

Whether it's because Peeta isn't in here or because the lights are still on, I'm not sure.

"Hey." I say softly, turning to him, squinting from the light.

Peeta turns around as if to just acknowledge my presence, "Oh, hey. I thought you were asleep." He says, stripping down to his underwear.

"I can't sleep." I say simply, sitting upright a little bit.

I've been trying for hours.

"Want to try again?" He asks, before turning out the light.

I nod and he crawls into the bed next to me.

I scoot over so that our bodies are pressed up to one another.

Peeta kisses my forehead before falling into his own slumber but I never do fall asleep that night.

I stay awake the whole night, just thinking about stuff.

Mostly about Peeta.

Sometimes about Prim or my dad, but Peeta always finds a way into my thoughts.

I always think about how much my dad would love him or how Prim was going to be the maid of honor in our wedding.

She always just assumed we'd get married one day and did from day one.

I think about how much I want Prim and my dad here, to see Peeta and I get married and maybe start a family. I think about how happy my mom would be if they were here, how happy I would be and how happy Peeta would be because I'm happy.

Truth is, you never realize how much someone means to you until there no longer there. I've realized that with Peeta, the first week we met with our fight. He never actually had to leave me, but I know I am not as grateful as I should be for Peeta Mellark.

Sometime, around 5:30am and 7am, I finally fall asleep just as Peeta is waking up.

He, as usual continues to let me sleep as he sneaks out of our bed and down the stairs to make me food or do whatever he pleases.

I just let him go.

I need some more time before I want to talk to him normally again, yesterday and last night was a real eye opener for me.

Well, ultimately now, an eye closer.

I fall into a well needed sleep, wonderful dreams find me just as I am ripped from them by a ruckus of pots and pans slamming into the hardwood floor.