A Life I Could Never Dreamed Of

The next generation

(Play the music where I say)
Subhadra's POV
     
       I am Subhadra. You maybe never heard from me but I am sure you heard of me. I have been called Veera Sodari. It is because of my brothers. But that's not the whole truth. I have been called Veera Sodari for my Jiji as well. My Jiji. My brave, kind and misfortunate Jiji. Bhrata Krishn always said Jiji was born for great things and was expected great things. Yes she was. She was learned. She was greatest warrior. She was prakriti kanya. But things that bothered me the most was why she was never looked as a person. She stayed away from her family because she was gifted and could learn more. She fought wars because she was expected to. Lived alone for years. Fall in love yet couldn't claim him with less difficulties. She lived as a servant of the city, where she should have been the Queen. All because she was gifted. A gift rob her from all kind of ecstasy. How that was a gift.. Now she was raising our future alone. When I was thinking this I could hear her voice saying

"Subhadra.. You are also raising Abhimanyu alone. Don't be blinded by someone's greatness that you forget to appreciate yourself."

            Yes I did raised my Abhimanyu alone. But that was not be completely honest. And if  my Jiji was here with me I would have said

"I raised him with you. You have been with us the whole time."

           I couldn't say time flied away, because it didn't. Everyday was torturous. Each day went like a year. I missed everyone. Sometimes I felt it wasn't real at all. I felt like it was all a very very bad dream and any second from now I would wake up and see my family all around me again. My jiji and Droupadi jiji would have make tea for me. I never enjoyed that beverage like those two but that was the only time we get to spend with each other without the men of the house. But with passing time I learned to accept the reality. My son was growing up in front of me. I had to accept that my life now. All those times started to seem like a distant dream. It's been almost 13 years. The time was coming close and my anxiety was getting higher.

       I was standing in front of Jiji's room. It's been 13 years of me coming here everyday. No one else was allowed to enter the room. Nothing changed in this room for 13 years. Everything was exactly the same as she left it. I go to that room everyday to feel my Jiji around me. That was given me strength to pull through all this. The room still has her calming earthy flowery smell. I sometimes get shocked of myself after being a part of my daily life how my hands still shake while opening this door. Maybe because this room has some last memories I have with her. I went inside. Inhaled her smell and the memories flooded in with the tears. First one was of Abhimanyu's delivery. How could I forgot that. I really believe if Jiji wasn't there I would not have able to deliver him. When I was about to give up because of excessive pain, her words still rang in my ears till now.

"Don't you dare close your eyes Subhadra. Don't loose your conscious. You have to push. Baby isn't even slightly out yet. Think about Parth. Think about everyone's dream with this child Subhadra. You have to deliver him. PUSH..."

            Even after that I passed put several time. Mata Kunti and bhavi said they never seen such methods of child birth before. She was determined to get him safe and sound. And she did.

"Subhadra your son born with the fingers of the archer."

        She said holding him up. I cried with happiness. The newborn baby was clutching her fingers and even when she tried to give it to me he didn't let her fingers go. My son knew who to hold on to.

"Welcome my son... The future of Aaryavart. Welcome to the world my Abhimanyu." She said to him. And that name stuck.

          I carefully dusted the room. Her paintings. These were the stories of her struggle written with colours. Her books. She left it for me about how to care for the baby. She was with us for two months after Abhimanyu's birth. And they do spend a lot of time with each other. On this very bed she was trying to make him sleep while I woke up. I touched the bed.