We had just finished our Thanksgiving dinner with the rest of our family and friends. Me, Trey, and my momma had to fly back home to Memphis tonight, but before we left N'Awlins we had something important to do.
We ate dinner a few hours earlier than usual because we didn't want to be in a rush to catch our flight. As me, Trey, Ashley, my momma, and my teedee Toya got in our rental truck. We pulled out of the driveway, and my momma began to drive.
I was silent as I sat in the back in between Trey and Ashley. I guess Trey could tell that I was nervous because out of nowhere he grabbed my hand, and held it. I let out a deep sigh, and laid my head on his shoulders. 10 minutes later we arrived at our destination.
" Come on y'all." My momma said as she sighed getting out of the truck.
" Let's gone and get this over with." Trey said looking over at me, and Ashley.
" Ash, can you grab the flowers fa me?" I asked.
" I gotchua Cali."
We all sighed in unison, and got out of the car. As we began walking I grabbed my oversized dark Dior sunglasses outta my purse, and put them on. As we got closer and closer my heart began to beat rapidly.
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" Hey, Shy look who we brought to visit ya. I miss ya. Ya know you was always like a second son to me. Make sho you keep watching ova us." My teedee Toya said kissing her fingers and touching Shy's resting place.
" Wazzam brotha! I miss ya whoodie. My fault fa not being able to visit like I normally would, but a youngin done moved to Memphis." Trey said.
" I know ya probably tired of me coming down hea, but I can't help it. We miss you Shy." Said Ashley as she put the flowers in the holder pot in front of Shy's resting place.
" Yeah, son we miss ya. I just wanna say thank ya fa loving Caliana the way you did, since I neva got the chance to tell ya. Keep looking down on us, and I know ya proud of Cali, Trey, and Ashley. I love you son." My momma said.
I stood there in silence for a moment before I spoke. " Hey, Shy I'm sorry I haven't been hea in a while. The last time I was hea was the day of ya funeral, and I'm sorry fa that. I miss ya everyday, every minute, and every second. I'm tryna be strong fa ya cause I know dats what you would want, but it's hard baby." I said as a lump began to form in my throat.
" IT'S REALLY HARDDD SHY! I CAN'T EVEN MUCH DO IT NO MO!" I yelled hysterically as I began to fall to my knees as I bursted into tears.
" Cali, don't cry you gone make me start cryin." Ashley said.
Before I could fall to my knees, my momma and Trey caught me. They held me up as my momma and teedee nem began to try to comfort me.
" You gotta be strong Cali baybeh. Shy watching ova you, and he always withcha even if it don't feel like it." My momma said as she rubbed my head.
" Come on Cali, he's in a better place na baybeh." My teedee Toya said.
While trying to help comfort me Ashley began to cry. " Lord, I can't see my best friend like this. I gotta walk off fa second, cause AIN'T NONE OF US deserved this FA REAL!"
" I'm tired, I'm tired of living without him y'all. I just want him to come back to me. Shy, why'd you leave me baybeh? WHY! Lord, you took my soulmate, my baybeh! Shy, I just want you hea with me again. I should've never let you leave that night. I'm sorry Shy, I'm so sorrrryyyy!" I cried.
" Can y'all give me and Cali a minute to ourselves?" Trey asked.
" You sure you got ha?" They asked in unison.
Trey nodded his head. My momma and his momma went to go check on Ashley while Trey held on to me.
" Say come on Cali. I know Shy looking down on at you right na jocin the fuck outcha. He probably like look at ha crying. She on dat ole soft ass shit. What happened to Tuff ass Cali? Huh?" Trey chuckled.
" I just miss em Trey." I sniffed.
" I know ya miss him. Hell, we all do. But you talking bout you can't do it no mo, ion wanna hear dat shit come outchea mouth piece again! Cause ya done made it this far, so why stop na? Just know if you give up, and I LET YOU give up Shy gone haunt the fuck outta us."
" Really, Trey. That's not suppose to be funny." I said slightly laughing as I playfully hit him in the arm.
" It stopped ya from crying didn't it, and I seen that smile. But Cali you know he wouldn't wanna see you like this, and I don't either. We gotta keep going. I'm not saying forget about him. I'm saying we gotta live fa him, live our lives to that fullest. Accomplish our dreams, be successful, and help his name live on. You know all dat we all use to sit round and talk bout, we gotta do it fa Shy. No, matter what I'm always hea fa ya, and Ian goin no whea! I promise I gotchu, ight? And I mean dat, ok?" Trey said.
" Yeah, I hea ya."
" Now, come on let's go befo Shy ass knock some shit ova in this bitch cause you know that nigga play all day." Trey laughed.
" Hell nah, but give me a few minutes by myself. I'll be there." I laughed.
" You sho?"
" Yeah, I'm sho."
" Ight, we'll be at the truck."
" And Trey?"
" Wazzam?"
" Thank you, and I love you."
" I love you too cuzzin." Trey said as he turned back around to walk off.
I put my hand on Shy's resting place, and took a deep breathe.
" I'm sorry fa breaking down like dat Shy. I know I done embarrassed da piss outchea ya. *I chuckled* Cause you got ya girl outchea down bad right na. I just miss you baybeh. I'm not gone lie I'm lost without cha, and I feel like it's never gone get betta. So continue to give me strength to keep moving forward in this cruel ass world without cha. I'ma always and forever love you. Can't no nigga ever have my heart the way you had it! Hell, yo crazy ass still got it. I promise I'ma start taking more trips back hea to visit ya. So, until then just continue to save my spot next to you baby. I love you Shymarius." I kissed my fingers, and placed it on his resting place for a few seconds.
I took one final look knowing it'll be a couple of months before I could come back again. Then I turned around, and walked off to the truck where my momma nem was waiting on me.
