SONGBIRD

Numb

Rose's POV
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The night of the tournament was 3 days again now, i had escaped Snape's grasp on me when we entered the castle and ran all the way to my dormitory. I have not left since. I closed my curtains around my bed and have been sat here either crying or sleeping. It's been the same these past few days. I'll only get up to use the bathroom when no one else is here and I have barely eaten or drank anything whatsoever. I didn't care to, I felt dead already. Katherine went out of here way to leave me scraps of food out everyday but I barely touched plate.

My entire body ached, some hours of the day I'd feel completely numb and just stare endlessly at the ceiling. Other days I'd have to put a silencing spell on my bed so I could let out all the screams and sobs in my throat. Eventually I would tire myself out from all the crying and screaming and fall asleep.

Katherine had tired to talk to me, but I never answered her. Hermione had been as well as Madam Pomfrey but they took my silence as I sign I did not want to be disturbed. I'd heard Katherine loosely tell me Cedric was killed by one of Voldemort's men. That he who must not be named was back. I think she was worried about how I'd take this but honestly I don't care at this moment in time how he died, he was dead either way. Harry had been tried to come visit me but I heard Katherine force him back down stairs luckily. However, Draco has been relentless in trying to see me, it's got up to four times a day now where he'll try. But I'm just not ready. I don't want to see him, Hermione, Katherine. No one. But at the same time I don't know how much longer I can continue as I am. I feel sick all day, my body is icy pail and I can feel the pain in my stomach as it begs me for food. But I just can't see the point. I'd even missed Dumbledores speech about Cedric and his memory, I almost went but I just couldn't make it out of the door without breaking down.

Yesterday was the worst day, Snape had left a small box by the door and when I went to collect it I saw he'd fetched Cedric's friendship bracelet I'd given him the night before he died...the night before he was murdered. I fell to the floor crying, it was supposed to bring him good luck and all it did was the opposite. I blamed myself for not listening to my gut maybe if I would have told someone or explained more he could still be alive...but I could sit and blame so many people right now...

I was just about to go to the bathroom while Katherine and Pansy were gone when I heard an owl tap on my window. The early summer heat hit me right In the face as I carefully took the parchment from the owl and watched it fly away into the blue sky. I'd received a lot of letters over these past few days, none of them had been opened but I didn't recognise the writing so I tore it open.

Dear Rose
I am so sorry for you loss my dear, a few of the students from the two schools have held back as I was contacted by your friend Maddison. She expressed how they want to do something for Cedric and for the students who will be unable to attend the funeral and say goodbye. I am planning on having everyone gather In the great hall in 2 nights time. I know some of your friends are planning on signing, along with the help of the school choir, we will be sharing memories and photographs along with this. I understand that you may not feel up to do, but if we want to come along, to sit and listen, to sing, or talk you are more welcome. Don't feel any pressure, you can simply turn up on the day if you feel like it.

My condolences
Professor Dumbledore

I held the parchment tightly in my hand as I re read it over and over again until I couldn't anymore. How do I know whether I can cope with this? I mean I know I need to face everyone some how and part of me knows if I missed this...I'd regret it no matter how I'm feeling. Cedric loved music, we've spent our entire childhood going to shows and even preforming together. It would be a celebration not like a normal funeral that focused solely around death rather than someone's life...or atleast all the funerals I've attended have been that way. Cedric would want us to celebrate him this way, Maddisons idea was amazing. Especially because not everyone would go to the funeral, knowing Mr Diggory it will be close family and friends only. People like Maddison, Cho and Matt need to grieve. I wanted to go, I think. All I want is to make Cedric proud I don't want to miss and opportunity to do this. I can't.