Die Arthia

B i l a n g LXXVI

Tia look at me with so much emotion. Her mouth is half open. Pinunusan nya ang natirang luha sa mata nya at tinitigan lang ako.

Her eyes make me remember the first time I saw her. A small little girl with purple hair desired something that she shouldn't.. just like me.

Tia may come out strong but she's actually scared. She keep telling me that she want to be gone after everything but the thruth is she's scared to die. When the Duke wield a sword infront of her, that was the first time I saw her eyes so scared also the last time. I never wanna see those eyes again. It's full of fear and uneasiness, I don't want to see those emotions on her.

"It's getting dark, let's go." I said before I get lost in my thoughts. She just nodded at me and started walking. She passed by me and I immediately smelled her natural scent. I smiled and follow her.

I'll never get tired of her.

"Cecilà said I'm incapable of love." She whispered. I smiled and walk besides her. I looked at her brown eyes, she look away.

"You're not." I said, my eyes drifted to her hand. It's so thin. "I don't know how to love too." I honestly said. She stopped a little but continue walking. I really can't make her halt, kahit anong sabihin ko. She's so steady and firm, very unusual for a small lady like her. "No one ever showed me love." She really didn't stop. I don't know if she's listening but I want to tell her what's on my mind, it might help her. "Only the Duke who loves a person that I haven't seen is the only evident of love I know." I shrugged and walk faster when I saw her trying to climb up. I carried her a little, she glared at me but accepted my help. I smiled and follow her.

The night we touched each other, can I call it love?

"Lady Cecilà claim her love for the Duke as if she's telling myths."

"You don't believe her?" She shook her head while trying to remove the dirt on her skirt. I help her, she stopped and sighed.

"No, it's just how can a person go around telling everyone that she's so inlove." She groaned so I look up at her. I catched her eyes, she immediately look away. I stood straight. "She's so confident." She shrugged her small shoulder. I watch her hair dance with the wind.

"I also claimed that I love you without me knowing what is love." I said and look around. Where's my horse?

"Right." She said. I whistled. Stomp of horse filled my ears as I saw my horse running towards us. Lady Cecilà told me to follow them because Tia doesn't look good.  "You said you want to marry me because you love me." Mabilis akong napalingon sa kanya. Nilabanan nya ang tingin ko pero mabilis syang napatingin sa kabyo.

I suddenly felt so scared like I did something wrong.

I shook my head and offer her my hand so I can guide her while she climb at the horse. She rolled her eyes before accepting my hand. Napangiti ako habang inaalalayan sya paakyat sa kabayo.

"I really like to marry you." I said and jump on her back. I slightly kick the horse so it'll start walking and it did. I can smell her hair.

She gasped so I tried to look at her. Her expression didn't change, it never did.

"You said your love is wrong." She whispered. "How is it wrong?" She innocently asked.

I stopped and think if I should answer her.

Love is a great word, it brings so many emotion to a person. It's like a brand for a person's unknown emotions, but not everything.

I loved Tia because of her desire that reminds me of my self. That small curiosity turn into this. But the way I showed her love is very wrong and immature. I never complain even with her dangerous requests, I never disobey her whims, I never had a fight with her, I never argue with her and if that thing continue I think we're just really nothing, not even close to friends. We're just like master and a loyal servant. Ofcourse I'm the loyal servant.

I want us to grow. I want us to argue if someone is wrong. I want us to fight if something isn't going right. I want us to know our mistake and learn from it. I want us to be each other's comfort and I want to Tia to correct me if I'm wrong.. I want us to be each other's confidante.

Is that too much?

But in reality we're just both greedy person desiring for things that isn't for us.

And I'm worst. I desire a title when I'm just born out of lust and I also dare to desire a person who isn't for me. Arthia is for herself, but I want her.

"Levi.." I came back to reality when Tia's voice called me. I look at her. I felt my heart is beating so fast while I'm being sentimental.

"Hmm?" Gaano ako katagal nag-iisip? Nakalimutan ko nang sagutin ang tanong nya and I don't want to answer it.

"Let's go back here again." She whispered. "If we can."

Her last words has so much emotions. There's a sting pain in my heart, I can't deny it.

"We will go back here. I assure you."

♡
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