Everything to Me

72.

Juli sat at a distance from her older friends' group on the window sill. She was far enough that she couldn't hear them but close enough to observe their moods and faces. 

The only people in the common room were her friends who were studying for their upcoming exams. All of them except Sirius. He was lying on the floor on his stomach with chin in palms, observing the others. He subtly kept sending shimmers of gold from his wand to Juli which tingled her feet and then disappeared, making her soflty chuckle and blush everytime.

She was yet to tell him about her meeting with the Dark Lord and decided it was now or never. With a small nod at Sirius, she pointed at her dorm.

Sirius smiled and got up. "Hey, Alli," He said, stretching. "Celebration drink on you the next time." He winked and left before James could throw his quill at him.

Even him simply stretching made Juli's brain go fuzzy. In her defence, his t-shirt rose up a little and his abs came into view.

Shaking these thoughts out of her head, she crept back up to her dorm. Not that anyone would have noticed anyway. They all hated her too much to even look at her.

"Hey," Sirius greeted as she walked into her dorm. "Everything okay? Are you doing okay? Do you want to eat something? Can I get you anything? Do yo -?"

"Sirius, wait," She interrupted. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just thought it was you know... your time of the month and well - "

He was cut off again with Juli's laughter. "You're adorable," She said as she moved towards him and pulled him into a hug. "And no, it is not my time of the month." She deeply inhaled his smell. It no longer smelled like cigarretes. It was only leather and dog fur at times. It felt like home. "I wonder if that's how you talk to Remus." She chuckled.

"Come to think about it," He said, lifting her up. "We do..." He spinned her around as she yelped in surpise.

He put her down and kissed her gently. "I hate that we can't talk all day. I miss you."

"I miss you, too, sweetheart. All the time. And it is so annoying." She huffed.

"I can't wait when you finally tell everyone and get it over with. You know... sometimes," His face suddenly turned sad. "Sometimes I wish that you didn't have to do this and put yourself in danger."

Juli sighed and sat down on her bed. She patted the space beside her, asking Sirius to sit down beside her. "I need to tell you something." She said, taking his hand in hers. "Regulus wants to become a death eater."

"Oh? I would be lying if I say that I am surprised...He always agreed with my parents and hung out with the wrong bunch but he isn't even of age. Why would he do that?"

"To impress your parents, I suppose. You know how they are." She said calmly. "But I will look after him. And still try to change his mind." She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. "There is also something else."

He waited for her to go on.

"I wasn't supposed to meet Voldemort until after Hogwarts but... but Regulus and I will be meeting him on the day of our last exam."

Sirius didn't say anything. He just kept looking ahead into nothing. His expression was blank.

"Say something." She requested.

He left her hand and stood up. "What do you want me to say Juliette? That this was not the plan. That - that we had more time despite the secrecy. That I don't have the heart to let you go. That I can't bear the thought of you leaving. Well, it is pointless because despite all of this, you will go." He was breathing heavily now, not even looking at her.  "There is no way around this because you are stubborn as hell and won't let anyone stop you. Dumbledore is just as thick as he is smart and will not let you back out by manipulating you with words!"

"Sirius..." She said, absolutely flabbergasted.

Before she could say anything else, he stormed out the door, slamming the door shut behind him.

Juli flinched at the sound, shutting her eyes. Thinking for a moment, she grabbed a package from her trunk and dashed out the room, hoping to find Sirius in his dorm.

But she didn't get that. She saw Sirius on the bottom of the staircase, talking to Remus from across the Common Room.

"...go to bed." He said, sounding upset.

"No, you are not. You are upset. So get your arse over here Sirius Black and tell us what is  wrong." Lily shouted. Juli couldn't see her but she could imagine her face. A look of anger but eyes just as kind as always.

Sirius shook his head and a part of her was relieved. She wanted to talk to him in private. But before Sirius could take another step towards his dorm, someone pulled him in the middle of the room, where her other friends were waiting.

Juli realized that this would be the hardest thing to do. Not because she was afraid of him, but because of what he might say. Besides, people would be watching.

She slowly descended down the stairs and saw everyone waiting in anticipation while Sirius stared into the fire silently. Her heart broke into a gazillion pieces as a small teardrop rolled down his cheek.

She sighed to herself and walked towards him. He didn't seem to notice her. She glanced at her friends who were looking at her in astonishment.

"What do you want Jules?" James said sharply. Before he could add anything else, Lily held his hand, asking him to stop.

Sirius' head snapped towards her when he heard James' voice.

He looked at her, eyes full of desperation and love.

"Sirius," She said, and took out a small item from the bag. "This was intended as a promise, but neither of us are happy with only that anymore."

She then held his hand again and got down on one knee, with a ring in her hand.

"I don't ever want to let you go." She said, voice breaking, as his eyes widened. "People will say that we are too young and that our life has not even begun yet but war or not, I don't want a life with out you." Tears were streaming down her face now, as she tried to hold it together. "I love you so fucking much that it makes my heart hurt and my head turn. Sirius Black, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"