Blue || Bucky Barnes

2. But I'm A Woman

Dr. Erskine did exactly what he said he would. He gave me medicine that night and a roof over my head and for that I will be forever grateful.
He woke me early and we drove to New Jersey.
By the time the car pulls into the army base I'm already feeling much better. I don't know whether it was from the medicine or the comforting fact that I'm almost one hundred miles away from my abusive father.

"Wow, the medicine has worked very well." Dr. Erskine notes. "Now come with me, we must find you some clothes." I don't know what to say. This man has changed my life in the space of less than twenty-four hours.
"Knock knock." Dr. Erskine says as we walk into a small building. He talks to the ladies in there and they pull some things and hand them to him.
"They only have men's clothing, but it will do." He says handing them to me and leading me to a smaller room. "Take your time." He says leaving me.

I can't help but catch myself in the mirror hanging on the wall. I'm a wreck. My clothes are worn and torn. My shoes have holes in the toes and my hair is straggly. I strip myself of the clothes on my back and with that I feel like I lose the rest of that uncomfortable feeling. I feel finally free. Then I finally see my naked body in the dusty mirror. My god. The bruises over my body are almost non existent. With the exception of the three big ones on my ankle, stomach and shoulder. Whatever that medicine is, it worked wonders. Wow.

After several moments of shock I pull the small men's clothes over my body and replace my shoes with the new boots.
I untie my hair and run my hands through it, at least trying to tame it.
After brushing out as many knots as I can find I tie it back into a tight ponytail. I've never been all that good at my hair. Mom always did Eveline's and my hair when we were little, but she was gone before she had the chance to teach me.
I walk back out into the main area with my clothes folded neatly.
"Right. You may keep them in your bunk-" Dr. Erskine starts.
"Actually... Could I just get rid of them?" I ask hesitantly.
"Okay." He takes them and hands them to one of the ladies with a smile.
"Come with me. I'll show you your bunk." He leads me across the base to a collection of cabins.

"Here we are." He opens the door to an empty room. There are total of sixteen beds lining the left and right sides of the room all with their mattresses folded over. Except for one, which I presume to be mine.
"Okay. Rest up. I vill see you in the morning." He says turning to leave.
"Wait." I say and he faces me again. I'm not quite sure what takes over me but I stride forward and wrap my arms around Dr. Erskine's waist in a hug.
"Thank you." I mutter. He pats my shoulder and when I let go, leaving without a word.

I settle into the mattress. Wow, I'd forgotten what one felt like. I'd slept on the concrete floor of my bedroom for so long it became muscle memory. This is luxury.
I pull up the sheet and switch off the small lamp on the bedside stand, plunging the room into darkness. And for the first time in a very long time, I feel safe.

-

I hear a ruckus outside which wakes me up the next morning. The daylight is shining through the windows of the cabin. If I sit up I'm able to see out the window to the base. I see the sun shining and men in groups running around participating in different activities. I watch them in awe of their strength and agility.
The door opens which makes my head whip around, fear coursing through my veins immediately. Though it settles when my eyes fall upon Dr. Erskine. I breath out a small sigh of relief.
"Good morning." He smiles.
"Morning." I turn around from facing the window.
"Fascinated?" He asks.
"That'd be an understatement." I exclaim.
"I thought you might be." He notes.
"Can I join them?" I ask knowing the answer will probably be no. A female soldier? Yeah right.
"Perhaps you should let your body heal for another day. Besides I'll need to talk to the Colonel if you're serious about it." As his words sink in my eyes widen and mouth gapes.
"But... but I'm a woman?" I state the obvious.
"You're very observant." He jokes. "But I can be very persuasive."
"Okay." I nod in agreement.
"Come, you must eat." He ushers me out the room once I slip my boots on.