Blue || Bucky Barnes

44. Fuck

Leia leans up against the door, slowly sitting down, not saying a single word. He, Loki, was the one behind the attack on New York. She'd heard about it when she was in Romania. It was the anniversary, aired on the tv at the corner store she often frequented. Never did she think that she'd come to know the person behind such terrible acts.

Loki sits down against the door when she goes silent. He knows he must explain himself. Though he's never told anyone this before. Not even his own mother.

"My mind was compromised Leia. The Mind Stone in the scepter had complete and utter control. What's more, I was sent down by Thanos. He promised me things that, at the time, I couldn't pass up. He was a liar. A manipulator. He manipulated me. Abused me and my trust. I was brainwashed. And the way I cope, is um.. well is to make it seem like it wasn't really me. That's why I was so nonchalant about it Leia, you have to believe me. Not a day goes by that I don't regret my actions. It was horrible, but it wasn't me. I promise you." Loki tries to explain himself through his pained voice. The memories that surface he does his best to push them far, far back down.

Leia's mind is a complete blur. She feels like she doesn't know him at all. But his explanation is sincere. Somehow, whether it was his shaky voice or something else, she knew that was hard for him to explain and tell her. She feels almost hypocritical. How is it okay for her to have acted in such a way when she herself was a brainwashed assassin for many years.

She stays silent for a long time just trying to let his words sink in. He was under Thanos' control long before she met him. She can't even imagine how difficult it must've been for him to see Thanos again.

"Loki." She breathes out.
"Oh Leia." His voice is wary but relieved.
"How did you get yourself in such a mess?" She asks sympathetically.
"I don't know." His voice breaks slightly.
"Whatever motivators were in you back then are gone now, right?" Leia asks him.
"Long gone, I swear." He says.

There's movement on the other side of the door and Loki stands up quicker than ever before. The lock jiggles before Leia opens it slowly.
"Leia." He says stepping forward slightly.
"Stop." Leia says quickly but without malice. Loki halts in his place. "I'm sorry I didn't let you explain before I ran off."
"Oh baby, that's okay, it's fine. You had the right to react the way you did." Loki says wanting so badly to hug her, touch her at least.
Leia just looks at him, melting on the inside from his words. Though her exterior stays unreadable.
"Dare I ask... you don't regret kissing a psychopath do you?" Loki's cheeky demeanor surfaces once again.

Leia's cheeks crack a smile before she quickly crashes her lips against his. Her hands find his jaw quickly and his rest on her waist gently. The kiss leaves them both panting for breath when they pull away.

"I see." Loki huffs.
"Shut up." Leia mumbles kissing him again, this time with more force and intent. Loki holds her waist and presses her up against the wall. Her hands are tangled in his dark roots as their lips move in sync.
Loki's lips move away from hers and down to her jaw and neck. He leaves hard kisses all over the area, focusing on that sensitive spot below her ear. Tingles shoot down her spine when he kisses it.
"Loki." She breathes out, head tipped back. He leaves her neck and captures her lips once more. The feelings and adrenaline coursing through their veins is what propels them. Loki's hands move from her hips to the back of her thighs. He scoops her up quickly and she wraps her legs around his waist in an almost subconscious movement.

She kisses his jaw lightly yet tenderly as he walks into the bedroom and lies her down on the bed.
"Mmmm." Loki mumbles as their lips connect again.
Leia's hands fall to his waist where the hem of his shirt lies. She grabs it and pulls it over his head forcefully. Their lips break for only a moment to discard Loki's shirt.
Loki's lips attack her neck once more and his hands travel to her waist, where his fingertips graze over the skin of her hips so gently it makes her shiver. She breathes out heavily feeling her stomach erupt in butterflies.