Blue || Bucky Barnes

67. Formalities

Steve shuffles in bed waking up slowly. His room is still dark and he knows he can't have been asleep for more than a few hours. He closes his eyes again trying to go back to sleep when a noise captures his attention. His ears peak waiting for it again, but it doesn't come. Steve closes his eyes and instantly, there it is again. He sits up curiously.
"No, no, no!!" The cries are more distinct now, getting louder by the second.
"No please!" Steve opens his door to the hallway waiting for a moment. It's silent for a bit and he almost turns around.
"No!!!" He hears a shriek and instantly charges down the corridor. "No! Please, I'm sorry!!!! No!"

Steve finds the noise coming from Leia and Bucky's room. Their door is open slightly which lets the noise out.
"NO BUCKY!!! NO PLEASE!" Steve pushes the door open harshly and the realization settles in on him.
"Come back." She mumbles tossing around in the sheets.

"Leia." Steve says walking over to her.
"Bucky.." She keeps moving.
"Leia wake up." Steve sits down on the bed.
"NO NO NOOO!" "Leia!!"
Steve shakes her shoulders and she springs up, eyes wide open and cheeks tear stained.
Leia's gasping for air and spluttering through her tears. "No, no!"
"Leia." Steve tries to draw her out but she doesn't even look at him.
"No, no, no." Leia cries shaking her head and Steve wraps his arms around her shoulders. Her head buries into his chest and he holds her shaking human tighter than ever. She cries heavy tears unable to control herself.
"Hey, shhhh, it's alright, it's okay." He strokes her hair gently trying to bring her back down. "Leia it's alright."
"Except that its not." She mumbles.
Steve doesn't exactly know what to say to her statement so he just stays mute, helping her calm down. He's never known what to say to help her through these. She used to have them when they were living together and he would sometimes hear her soft cries through the night. Steve would always try his best to help her. And like all those other times he gently rubs her shoulder while her tears soak his tshirt. And eventually she begins to sniff, controlling herself to some degree.
"You okay?" Steve asks her retracting his secure arm.
"I'm sorry." Leia whispers guilt pouring over her all over again.
"Don't apologize Leia." Steve says. "You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah.... thank you." Only now does she look up at her friend. She doesn't deserve him. She doesn't deserve Bucky. She doesn't deserve anyone. She can't help but think her father should've gone the extra step and just ended it all for her.
"Okay, do you want some water or something?" He asks gently.
"No thank you. Go back to sleep I'm sorry for waking you."
"Okay." Is all Steve says before standing up slowly.
Once he leaves the room Leia sits still her mind swimming with what she just saw in her dream, or should she say nightmare. God where is he?

Leia stands up and pokes her head out her door. There's no one in the corridor so she patters slowly down to the kitchen. She feels that ache coursing through her body once more. It's something that her abilities can't heal.
She grabs a glass making no noise at all, pouring some water. Leia leans up against the counter just sipping on it unconsciously. She can't stop thinking about her nightmare. It was so vivid. She really did kill him. An uncomfortable shiver runs through her body making her slide down the cabinet onto the floor. Her legs are huddled to her chest and she rests the glass on her knees.

Before she realizes the sun is shining brightly into the kitchen and the big analogue clock reads 6:48am. Leia tips her head back against the cupboard wide awake. Eventually she musters the strength to stand up and put her glass in the sink, when she hears footsteps entering the room. Leia turns around and sees an unfamiliar woman walk in.
"Oh hi.." She says warily.
"Hello." Leia manages to muster a small smile in her direction. "Did you want some coffee, I'm just about to make some?"
"That would be nice thank you." The girl says. Leia grabs out two mugs when another pair of footsteps enter the space.
"Erica- oh morning Leia." Loki says.
"Morning."
"C'mon, it's time for you to go remember." Loki says to Erica.
"Oh okay." He leads her to the door.
"I'll call you." He mumbles.
"Okay." She smiles up at the god who proceeds go kiss her hard for a few seconds and then pull away leaving her breathless. He pushes her out the door. Leia looks at him baffled, he said those exact same things to Lindsay the morning prior.
"You alright?" He asks her.
"Yeaahh, fine." Leia looks down at her mug of coffee.
"Okay, I am going to have a shower." Loki announces and Leia nods as he leaves the room.