Blue || Bucky Barnes

18. The Windowsill

Restless groans fill their small apartment in the early hours of the morning, about four o'clock. Leia's dreamless slumber is interrupted and she wakes up, though she keeps her eyes closed hoping it'll trick her into going back to sleep. That's when she notices the grumbles and they're getting louder, turning into more cries than groans.
"No... stop... Leia..." The grumbles are soft and Leia opens her eyes slowly. "No... No.. No... NO!" She sits up and sees Bucky's chest rising and falling rapidly and he's thrashing around in the bed.
"Bucky." She jumps forward, down to his side. "Bucky wake up."She grabs onto his shoulders and tries to shake him but he just keeps thrashing. "Bucky come on!"
"No, no. No!!" He yells and his eyes shoot open, sitting up quickly.
"Bucky." He looks Leia's way and retreats with a terrified look on his face.
"Hey, hey, it's just me. Leia." She touches his burning forearm. His chest rises and falls at a rapid pace. "You're okay, you're safe I promise." Leia says softly. The sheer terror in Bucky's eyes alone makes Leia tear up. Sure Hydra did the exact same things to her that they did to Bucky but Leia's brain was able to heal to an extent. "Will you talk to me?" Leia asks and he immediately shakes his head. "Bucky please." She whispers. He's utterly terrified. He just looks at her as if she's an alien.

"Bucky, you know me, you can trust me." Leia tries but he won't budge. The tears in his wide eyes send her over the edge. "Bucky I want to help you, but I can't if you won't let me in." She sobs sitting in front of him.
Bucky's terrified but his features soften as he looks at the girl before him. "I-I dreamt of Hydra." He says barely above a whisper.
Leia's eyes shoot up and look at him. "Yeah?" She wipes her cheeks. He's talking.
"I was back in the chair, they were putting more things in me. Then the, the machine." He touches his temple gently.
"They're not gonna get you again." She tells him.
"They might." He starts. "I-I don't want to go back."Bucky's eyes are teary and Leia's heart swells. He's so damaged and she can't do anything about it.
"I know." Is all she whispers in the moment. Though Leia's head is swimming. He's talking to her, he's actually talking to her.
The pair sit in silence for a moment. Leia has the urge to hug him but she knows that's overstepping, so she fights it. "Is that all?" She asks him.
"You were there." He says spiking Leia's attention.
"Yeah?"
"You were next to me. In your own chair." Leia's heart convulses. "They made me watch. You were screaming-"
"Okay." She interrupts his description, her own demons threatening to crawl back into her mind. She looks down at her lap trying to control her heartbeat.

"I don't want anything to happen to you." Bucky's voice breaks. Leia sniffs with a small smile.
"You should try to go back to sleep." She whispers sitting back after a while. Bucky lays back down on the lumpy mattress and Leia retreats to the couch. His eyes close drifting off hopeful not to slip back into the dream. Leia does the same, counting her blessings, she finally got through to him.

-

Leia leans against the wall by the window sipping on a coffee when she hears movement to her left. She watches Bucky stand up from the mattress and walk into the bathroom not giving her a second glance. She looks out the window until the door opens. Bucky walks out running his fingers through his long hair. He spots her by the window and she smiles gently. The corner of his lips peaks up ever so slightly making Leia's whole body warm. He grabs something to eat and leans up against the island.

"How're you feeling?" She asks, treading lightly.
"I'm fine." He mumbles. Okay. Leia can't read him. She's not sure if he's reverted back or if he's still willing to talk to her.
After a moment of silence she speaks up again. "I meant what I said yesterday... I'm done stealing."
"I know." He nods.
"So I got a job. When I went out." She tells him.
"Leia I don't think that's such a good idea-"
"No it is, because then we'll have a little money. Just enough to get by." I say.
"It's not safe. I should-"
"No Bucky, it's safer for me to work. You could get recognized." She interrupts again.
"So could you." He counters.
"But it's not as likely." She says.
Bucky knows Leia's right. But he also knows she's more than capable of handling herself. "Okay." He mutters.
"Okay?" Bucky nods slowly. "Great cause I start tonight." Leia hops off the windowsill and rinses her mug.
That's the most conversation she's had with him over the nine months they've been on the run. Finally she's getting through to him.