SSA Scottley - A collection - S.R.

Funeral

In the one hand, Lily was happy that they had all agreed in coming with her. On the other, she wasn't sure that was the best idea, because Lily knew she would spend the whole day crying and mopping around and having the whole team and Oliver seeing it wasn't her ideal. Even so, she was grateful because as she sat on the backseat with Oliver in the car she shared with Hotch and Penelope, she realized how easier their presence was making things.

"Hey... How are you feeling?" Oliver asked quietly, as he placed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Okay, I guess." She shrugged. "I mean... There's not much else to feel anyway, is there?"

"I... I don't suppose so."

"We're here." Penelope announced as Hotch parked the car just outside the small chapel in Yorkville.

The four of them exited the vehicle and seeing the neighborhood in which she had spent most of her life in almost made her want to throw up. She did, however, lose balance for a second and stumbled forward. Thankfully, Oliver was quick enough to grab her by her waist and help her stand up once again.

"Easy, darling..." He cooed, as Lily took a deep breathe to calm herself down. "Are you alright?"

"I am, Olly, it's just... My mom used to drag me to this exact chapel every Sunday. I hated it. But now... Oh, what I wouldn't give to have her dragging me here just one more time."

Unsure of what to say, Oliver just placed a kiss to the crown of her head and walked with her toward the entry of the chapel, where the team was already waiting for her. As Rossi crossed himself, Penelope glanced at Lily and grabbed her hand as they made their way inside.

The team and Oliver then made their way toward a bench on the chapel from where they could watch the whole ceremony as Lily sat by her dad, brother and sister. None of them said a word to each other and a few shared a few tears as they watched Lily burying her face in George's chest as he held her close with shaky arms. The preacher gave his speech and not an hour later, it was all over and it was time to wake the body of Bridget and after doing so, Lily finally made her way back toward them.

"Sorry I made you come all the way from D.C. for this." She sniffled, as she wiped her tears away with a tissue.

"Lily, it's no problem, really." Hotch assured. "We want to do whatever we can for you."

"Thank you." She smiled.

Before any of them could say anything else, though, the preacher approached them and placed a hand over Lily's shoulder, causing her to turn around to face him.

"Father Collins." She whispered, as the man smiled down at her.

"Hello, Lily." He greeted. "I never thought I'd see you again around here."

"Yeah..." She giggled weakly. "I never thought I'd come back either."

"I'm sorry about your loss." He spoke the words she was growing accustomed to hear, but, differently from other people, she felt he truly was sorry, so it prompted her to cry once more.

Father Collins, already expecting that reaction, simply pulled her in for a hug and caressed her hair as she sobbed against his chest. The team grimaced at the scene in front of them and Penelope even had to look away to avoid crying as well.

"I thought you'd be a bit taller by now." He joked as she scoffed through her tears.

"Me too."

"You know, Lily..." Father Collins said, as he pulled away from her, causing the woman to look up at her. "I still remember that day. I remember everything about that day, do you? How long ago was it?"

"Ten years." She answered.

"Ten years, and that question of yours... It still bugs me every day. Because when you needed me the most, I couldn't be there for you. And I still can't."

"That's not true." Lily shook her head. "You were there for me and you are now. Even if I'm not your most faithful believer, you are still an important part of my growth, Father, and I'll never thank you enough. And as for the question... I still ask it to myself every once in a while, but I never come up with an answer. Even more now that I... I do what I do, you know? But those past few days, I've been wondering all the time. Have I ever done anything to deserve this, Father?"

"No, Lily. Of course you haven't." Father Collins shook his head with a sigh. He knew what was coming next. He knew that girl since before she was even born. He was the one who baptized her in the first place. He was the one who, beside Bridget, tried to convince her to pray every day and go to church every week, but did Lillian Scottley ever listen to anyone that wasn't her own head?

"Then why?" She cried out. "If God is so merciful... If God is so kind and fair... Why me?"

"Maybe this is a way of making you stronger." He offered, as she shook her head.

"No." She disagreed. "I used to believe in that. I used to believe that everything happens for a reason and that we are supposed to learn from all of it, but some things... Some things just happen. And you have to move through it. Because they don't happen to make you stronger. They don't happen to teach you a lesson. They happen to hurt. And that's all they do."

Father Collins sighed and looked down.

"I was never able to argue with you, was I, Lily?" He chuckled, as the woman crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not sure if you'll take my advice or not, but... If it only hurts, try to pray. Maybe God will take that pain away soon."

"I'll pray." Lily nodded. "But not because I believe that God will listen to me. With all the respect I have for you, Father, and you know I do, that's not why I'll pray. I'll pray because that's what my mom would have wanted me to do. And if there is something beyond life and if she is somewhere out there looking for me, I'll pray to make her happy and that's all."

"I understand." Father Collins nodded, as he picked up both of Lily's hands and smiled at her. "God bless your soul, Lillian."

"Amen, Father."

When he walked away, Lily fell back on the bench beside Emily, as the brunette grabbed her hand in hers.

"Don't believe in God, Lily?" She asked, as the woman shook her head.

"Do you?" She asked back. "After all we've seen and gone through... Do you believe in God?"

Emily shrugged and passed an arm over her shoulders as Lily leaned over against her body. JJ reached over to caress her arm and she smiled, grabbing Spencer's and Morgan's hand.

"Thank you for coming." She whispered.

"Anything for you, doll." Morgan nodded.

"We are family, Lily." Rossi continued. "And we're all together in this."

"Thank you." She cried.

"We love you." JJ smiled gently as she nodded.

"I love you too." She whispered, turning to glance at Oliver and then back at the team. "I love you too."