SSA Scottley - A collection - S.R.

Lauren

Episode: 6x18

After hours and hours standing in the waiting room, no one knew what to expect anymore. Lily was leaning against the wall with her eyes closed, hoping everything would turn out alright. She couldn't afford losing anyone else.

It wasn't until JJ left the room that the rest of the team started to pay attention again. Penelope gripped Lily's hand tight and the red haired woman looked down, certain that if she looked at her best friend, she would break. When she stood there, with tears in her eyes, they knew.

"No." Penelope whispered.

"She never made it off the table." JJ said, as Lily sobbed, leaning against Penelope as they both cried.

She heard movement beside her and she knew Spencer was up. As she lifted her eyes to him, she saw JJ calling for him.

"I never had a chance to say goodbye." He whispered, as JJ hugged him.

Lily let out a strangled sob, causing Penelope to embrace her in a hug. Emily Prentiss. Another name she never thought she would put in the list of lost loved ones.

***

Lily placed her book down as she heard a knock on her door. As she got up to answer it, Fred followed her and he barked as soon as he saw who was outside. She smiled.

"Spence." She said, as she opened the door for him to pass. He nodded at her and went to her couch as she closed the door behind him.

She gasped as she saw him crying on her sofa. She didn't need to ask. She knew what it was about. She too had been crying herself to sleep every night since... That night. She sighed, before walking up to Spencer and placing a hand on his shoulder, as she sat down beside him. Without another word he pulled her into a hug.

"Oh, Spence..." She cooed, tears of her own falling down her eyes.

"I miss her." He whispered, as she held him tighter.

"Oh, I miss her too."

He pulled away, just enough to face her, but he was still so close Lily could almost feel his heartbeat.

"How do you cope with something like this?" He asked.

Lily sighed again, as she looked down. In that moment, he felt bad, so he reached for her hand. She gripped it tight, as if it was a lifeline and took a deep breath before speaking up.

"You don't." She whispered. "You let it consume you. You cry out everything you have to cry. Then, when you're ready, you distract yourself. Push that person away from your thoughts until you feel you are strong enough to think about them again. But when you do that, you don't think about how they died. You think about how they used to make you feel happy. You remind yourself why that person is special for you. At least... That's why I did."

"What stage are you in?" He asked, after a moment of silence.

"I'm still mourning." She admitted, as she nodded toward a picture she had in the center table that was her, Emily and Eleanor when they were younger. They were happy. Smiling.

"Does she know?" Spencer asked, as he picked up the picture.

"I didn't have the courage to tell her yet."

"I know that's a later part of your process, but can you tell me a story about you and Emily? A happy one?"

Lily smiled as she leaned against the arm rest of the sofa. Spencer did the same on the other side so they were facing each other. He was still holding the picture, but Lily didn't need to see it to remember all about that day.

"I was six when we took that picture." She started. "Emily was quite older than Ellie and I, but we were good friends. Whenever she could, she would travel from D.C. to New York to see us. That was the year that she was going to finish college. She was so proud. Her whole family was proud, and so was mine. My dad invited her to our house so we could celebrate his goddaughter's achievement. So she came. She stayed with us for three days in winter break. Emily already could speak a few languages and so could I, so when we figured out we both could speak Italian but no one else could, we spent a whole day talking in that language, so no one actually knew what we were on about. It drove everyone crazy. At the end of the day, we had already played a prank on everyone except for Ellie, planning it on their faces without them knowing about it. It was brilliant. Emily was always a troublemaker, so she gave me the ideas and I figured out a way to execute them. Anyway... It was my sister's turn and she knew it was coming. Emily wanted to dye her hair green, so we did the paint, and set a trap. It went wrong though, and it only caught the ends of Ellie's hair. The paint also spread all around the living room. My mom was so angry with us. She made us clean it all up. And we did. It was almost nine o'clock when we were done and my mom wanted to send me to bed, but I didn't want to go because I knew Emily's mom would be picking her up later that night. So she suggested we took a picture so I could take with me to my bedroom. So we took it. And I kept it with me all those years."

Spencer's eyes never left Lily form as she told the story. The way her eyes were glossy with tears, but a smile was still forming on her lips made her all that more interesting. After a moment of silence, Spencer gave Lily the photo.

"It's a good story." He said.

"It's a true story." Lily corrected, as she allowed her fingers to dance across the picture, letting them stay a little longer on Emily's bright smile. "And that's how she would want us to remember her. Happy, fun... I know it's hard, Spence, but listen... We are all going through this. We're all here for each other. I am here for you. And if you ever need anything, ever, you let me know, okay?"

He smiled as he whipped away his tears.

"May I spend the night?"

"Yeah, of course. Want to order something to eat?"

"Pizza?" He asked.

"Of course." She nodded, getting up to get the phone.

Taking her place, Fred jumped up on the couch. Spencer chuckled as he curled up in his lap with a bark. When Lily came back with the phone and the menu, she scoffed.

"He loves you, you know that?" She asked, as Spencer laughed.

"Well... So do you." He shrugged, petting Fred.

Lily froze, staring at him for a second, thankful that he wasn't looking at her. Yeah, she thought, so do I.