SSA Scottley - A collection - S.R.

Safe

LMOLM - Final part

Spencer wondered whether he should tell her what was in his mind. Of course he wanted to, but he sure she would deny his proposal, even if he insisted.

"Stop looking at me like that." Lily mumbled as she kept doing the dishes.

Spencer sighed, but said nothing. Instead, he walked up to his girlfriend and wrapped his arms around her. He ignored the shiver that went down her spine and placed the plate and the sponge down, before spinning her around and forcing her to look at her.

She was getting better, he knew it. Dr. Redstone was doing a great job with her. She was even managing to go to her every appointment by herself without breaking down now. Of course she still felt uncomfortable, but who could blame her? She now thought everyone was watching her. She thought everyone wanted to hurt her. Everyone but him. She felt safe with him. And Spencer couldn't begin to explain just how happy he was with that fact.

"Lily..." He breathed out, placing a lose strand of her blonde hair behind her ear carefully. "I have something I've been meaning to ask you."

"What is it?" She asked, flinching a bit when his hand slipped from her face to her neck. He quickly pulled his hand away.

"We want to go out with you. You know... Have dinner or something..."

"No." She shook her head, picking her crutches up from beside her and trying to get away from Spencer.

Of course, being the klutz she was, she fell, not hitting the ground purely thanks to her boyfriend's quick reflexes. He pulled her up to her feet again and stepped back, allowing her to walk away toward the living room.

"It's just us and the team, Lily." He insisted, as he watched her getting comfortable in his couch, playing with Fred for a bit. "You'll be safe, I promise."

Turning around to face him, she looked at him with those sad and broken eyes, not saying a word. With another shake of her head, she denied the proposition.

Spencer sighed when Lily picked up the book she had been reading the past few days and ignored him for the rest of the afternoon, as he finished with the dishes and took a bath.

When he exited his bedroom, he carefully walked to the living room and sat beside Lily, not saying a word. He would usually do that now. Whenever she was too quiet, he would sit by her in silence waiting for her to start a conversation, letting her know he was there if she needed him.

"I want to." She said, as he turned to her, surprised. "I really miss them. It's just... I'm scared."

"It's gonna be okay, Lily." He assured, as he moved closer to her, wrapping her in his arms. "I'll be there and so will the rest of the team. We are the FBI, Lily... We won't let anything happen to you. And if you feel uncomfortable in anyway, we can leave. Just say the word."

Lily smiled as she cuddled up against Spencer, earning a jealous bark from Fred.

"Okay." She whispered.

"Okay?" He asked, looking for confirmation.

"I'll go."

***

Everyone around her was acting different. As the whole team sat together at Lily's favorite Japanese restaurant, everyone avoided talking about certain subjects. Especially about the case they had just solved. They had just returned from Maryland where a sister killed another using her father's disease as a scapegoat. And of course, as nothing for the BAU was easy, the disease was DID, just like Howland had.

"So I've met this really cute guy, you know?" Garcia bragged as she tried to make sure Lily didn't feel as if she was avoiding some topics with her, even when she clearly was. Still, the younger girl was thankful, as she raised her eyebrow and managed a small smirk. "I didn't really meet him, though, it's more..."

"She's seen him once across the street." JJ finished, as she took a sip of her coke.

Lily giggled slightly when Penelope threw her arms up in exasperation.

"But he was hot!"

The whole team smiled as they saw, for the first time in almost a month, Lily's genuine smile. All through dinner, they all kept talking, trying to engage Lily in any small talk they could possibly think of, but nothing worked. She was smiling and laughing a bit, that much was true, but she didn't make any of her sarcastic comments at anyone. It wasn't until they were all deciding which desert to take that something changed. Lily started to look around, that so familiar feeling of being watched taking over her body yet again, like it always did when she was out. Breathing in and out slowly, she bit her lip, trying to concentrate on something else. Something other than the man sitting a few tables away from her and that she was sure was staring at her with the same wild and sadistic eyes Jacob had look at her with.

"How's Fred?" Garcia asked, thinking that bringing up the one thing she loved more than chocolate to a conversation would suffice.

"Good." Lily jumped slightly in her seat, but she answered anyway with her raspy voice. "He's getting better."

"That's good." Her best friend said as she nodded.

When Penelope started to discuss with Derek which desert they would be sharing, Lily closed her eyes tight, trying to convince herself that she was safe. It was all in her mind. Nothing would happen.

Of course, that didn't go unnoticed by the group of Profilers with whom she was sitting, but they all refrained of saying something when they saw Spencer shaking his head. He was used to this. She would calm down and everything would come back to normal, unless...

When she suddenly reached for his hand and squeezed it tight, he knew the whole 'calming down' thing from Dr. Redstone hadn't worked, so he just pulled Lily's head closer to his chest in a way so she could listen to his steady heartbeat.

"It's happening again." She whimpered out, as Spencer only nodded.

"Do you want to go home?" He asked.

"Yes, please."

"Okay." He sighed. "Let's go, then."

With an apologetic look to his friends, Spencer helped Lily's shaking figure up, holding her steady since she still was with the cast. Penelope was quick to gather her best friend's purse and crutch and give it to her boyfriend. She only sat back down when both of them were out of sight as they headed to the parking lot, where Spencer's car was.

"I can't believe it..." Penelope sniffled, trying to hold back her tears.

"She was such a strong woman..." JJ nodded sadly. "Now look at her."

"She's still strong." Blake corrected. "She just needs time."

"Do you honestly believe in that, Blake?" Morgan frowned. "Because I don't. Look at what she did to her hair. She can't even go out anymore. She doesn't feel safe anywhere or with anyone. I'm surprise she still trusts Reid."

"Morgan!" JJ cried, as the man turned to her.

"It's true. I don't like it either, but it's the truth." He argued. "We all know what the consequences of PTSD can be."

The whole table fell silent, as they all turned to see Lily's still half full plate. Japanese was her favorite food and she hadn't even touched it. Another indication of how broken she actually was.

"Blake is right, though." Rossi said, as he waved the waiter over so he could pay the bill for himself and the couple that had left. "Let's give her time and some of our prayers and hope that'll be enough."