SSA Scottley - A collection - S.R.

Six years, eight months, six days and 21 hours

Lily anxiously stood by the gate Spencer told her he would be arriving though that day. He was away to see his mother for a month and a half, and even if they talked every day, hearing his voice through the phone wasn't the same as hearing it over a shared pizza in her apartment or as they laid together in his bed after a hard case. Besides, over the past 20 days or so, she had sensed a change in Spencer's behavior. Even through the phone she could tell: something was bothering him.

She bit her lip when she checked her phone again. 18:35. He was 15 minutes late. She took a deep breathe. It was nothing. Maybe his plane took off later. Maybe he was just waiting for everyone to leave the plane to avoid a big crowd. Maybe...

"Lily?"

At the sound of his voice, her head snapped up. Her legs stopped jumping and her bottom lip was freed from her teeth's grasp. She stood up and ran up to Spencer, jumping in his arms when she was close enough.

Dropping his bags, he placed his arms around her waist, but he didn't squeeze her tight or pulled her off her feet like he normally would. Instead, he just stood there, holding her like it was an obligation, not a pleasure.

"You were... You were a bit late." She frowned slightly when they pulled apart.

"Yeah, the plane took off later than I assumed." He answered. "Have you been waiting for too long?"

"No." Lily shook her head. "30 minutes tops. But it's no problem. Should we go grab your things?"

"Yeah." He nodded, as he turned around from her and walked away, barely waiting for her to catch up to him. When she tried to grab his hand, he gently pulled it away, hoping she wouldn't notice it. But she did. And a sad sigh escaped her lips.

"So... How was it?" She asked as if it was nothing, but they both knew that wasn't the case.

"Fine."

Lily waited, expecting something else, but when only silence responded to her, she tried to press more on the subject.

"Your mom's okay?" She asked. "I mean, you told me about the medics changing her medicine, but I didn't hear much about that after."

"Yeah, she's... She's okay, I guess. Or as okay as one can be with... In her state." He answered, as he grabbed his single bag from the matting and placed it down on the floor beside him.

"She's not worse, though, is she?" Lily asked kindly. She didn't want to be doing that. She hated pressing Spencer like this, but she cared for him and she cared for Diana. She needed to know. She deserved to know too, didn't she?

"I mean... She's not worse from her Schizophrenia, at least." He answered dryly, as he walked away toward the parking lot.

"What does that mean?" She frowned, as she jogged slightly to catch up. "Spence..."

"I don't want to talk about it." He abruptly pulled his arm back when she reached for it.

"But I just..."

"Where's your car?" He asked, as he scanned through the parking lot, trying to spot the small blue car she owned.

"No." She said, firmly. "No, talk to me, Spence."

"I don't want to do this here." He pleaded. And at that, she almost gave in.

"Do what? Spence, what's going on?"

"I don't want to marry you anymore!" He yelled out of pure frustration, but regretted it as soon as he saw the expression in Lily's face.

He knew that expression all too well. He had seen her wearing it far too many times. That expression that held so much emotions to turn them into words. That hurt, sad and indignant expression that she wore whenever she was about to cry. He had seen it many times, but it was never caused by him. And for that, he would never forgive himself.