One Chicago x Reader

Dead And Gone | Jay Halstead

REQUESTED BY Anon: Hii I was wondering if you could write a jay x reader imagine where the reader gets kidnapped and killed with a lot of angst and etc and how jay is dealing with it I'm sorry if it isn't specific

Pairings: Jay Halstead x Reader

Featuring: Jay Halstead, Y/n, Will Halstead, Hank Voight, Hailey Upton, Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater, Kim Burgess.

Summary:

Warnings: character death, flashback, grab the tissues, angst, crying, funerals, jay needs a hug, errors I missed, because my wifi is being whacky atm

w/c: 897

A/N: REQUESTS ARE OPEN! PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK! IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST JUST MESSAGE ME!

Jay wished he could reset this week. He wished he could go back in time and save you. Change the events that lead to your death. Maybe stay in bed with you. Never letting you leave his sight. But he knew he couldn't. Life didn't work like that. He wished he didn't feel so numb. He wished every time he closed his eyes, he didn't see your face, he wished he didn't see your bloody body in his dreams, well nightmares. He wished he didn't ache inside every time he had memories of you.

He felt lost. All the sympathies didn't console him. They didn't bring you back. A week or so ago he was making wedding plans with you, but now he was planning your funeral

He wished when he closed his eyes he wouldn't wake up or the world swallowed him. Voight gave him time off since he was being reckless.

The only good thing that came out of this tragedy was that the asshole that took you out of this world was locked up. Life in prison. Personally, Jay thought he deserved the death plenty. Jay would have happily done it.

Jay was left dreaming about you. That's all he had left of you, memories, and dreams, as well as your stuff. Your smell still lingered on your pillow. He clung to it every day till it started to fade.

Jay would cry himself to sleep or get drunk to the point he falls asleep. Either Hailey, Adam, Hank, Will, Kevin or Kim would have to take him home.

They were all worried. Especially when your funeral came around. Jay seemed more on edge than usual. The pictures of you showing on the projection screen were haunting him.

Mind flashing back to when he found you. Dead. A pool of blood surrounding your body. Eyes dead looking up at the ceiling.

Jay felt like he was going to be sick when he entered the room. Seeing you lying there. Lifeless. A pool of blood surrounding you. Tears fell from his eyes. As his lips quivered.

"Jay..." Hailey started to say but Jay didn't listen to her. Everyone giving him sympathetic glances.

"No..." He gasped out. Voice-breaking as he rushed over to you. Taking you in his arms and pulling you into his body. Your blood staining his hands and clothing, but he didn't care. He tried to check for a pulse but there was none. Jay cupped your face with shaking hands.

"Please wake up," Jay begged you. His tears falling on your blood-stained cheek.

"Please," He begged. As he searched your face for any signs of life. But there wasn't. there was so much blood. Jay sobbed harder as he realized you weren't going to answer him. You were never going to come back. You were dead. His forehead pressed against yours, as he rocked back and forth. Repeating the word no repeatedly.

Jay felt a hand grasp his shoulder bringing him back to reality. Jay looked at the hand, his eyes trailing up the arm till he saw his brothers face. Giving him a reassuring smile.

"Did you want to say a few words?" Will asked as Jay looked at his brother blankly.

Jay looked around to see a few people staring at him. He let out a sad sigh nodding his head. As nerves kicked in. He knew he was going to cry. He was honestly surprised he had any tears left to cry.

Jay knew everyone grieved differently but he thought some of your family members and friends could have cried more.

Jay felt everyone's eyes on him. Some feeling sorry for him, while others held anger towards him. Blaming him for your death. He didn't blame them, he blamed himself for your death. He thought he was the one that lead your murderer to you. He should have protected you.

Jay took the podium. Looking out at the crowd. He never felt lonelier.

He tried to speak but the words got caught in his throat. His eyes hurting from crying. His gaze drifted to the photo of you smiling. His heart was hurting. Memories he shared with you flashing through his mind.

He couldn't take it anymore. He missed you and seeing your smiling face in that photo frame was a stab to his heart. He has been shot, but losing you was way worse. His gaze then drifted to the coffin.

"I can't do this anymore," Jay sobbed out.

"She never should have died, she never should have been taken out of the world so soon, she should be here. She didn't deserve to die like that. This is all my fault," Jay sobbed. Breaking out in a fit of sobs.

Will quickly got up. Rushing over to him and consoling his brother. Will gave the audience a weak smile as they all stared. Some whispering to each other. Will quickly took Jay off the stage and out of the church.

Jay was full-on crying now. Clutching onto his brother.

"It's going to be okay," Will reassured his brother.

"It is not going to be okay. It will never be okay. I don't have her anymore. She's dead, she's gone," Jay sobbed harder.

Will gave his brother a pained smile. Knowing words wouldn't help Jay now. So, e just stayed there comforting Jay by being there for him...

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