C h a p t e r 50

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Sexual Content Warning ⚠️
Content Warning: Anxiety attacks.

Sexual Content Warning ⚠️ Content Warning: Anxiety attacks

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Chapter 50 : Madelyn
Monday, August 9th, 2021

I'm fine.

Or at least I was.

I drove home in my own car, this time allowing myself to actually think about my men and everything they told me.

The emotions I'm currently feeling are mixed, but each one seems stronger and more intense than the last.

Maybe it was a longer term effect of subdrop, or maybe it was simply due to all of the stress and sadness I've felt today, but I found myself struggling to get out of my car.

It was small at first, the slight weight on my chest, but as I stepped out of my vehicle and drew my keys from my purse, I began to shake.

I tried to breathe, I really did, but every single part of today soon became too much as I walked up the front steps and to the door of my house.

Lifting my trembling hand to unlock it, I pinched my eyes shut in defeat when I couldn't connect the key to the hole.

My chest tightened, my breath quickened, and I suddenly became very very quiet.

I didn't trust myself to speak or call for Hailey's help right now.

Instead, I just really needed to sit down.

My hand was flat and pressed against my heart, panicking at how fast it was and how I didn't see how I could slow it down again.

I noticed that I began to swallow a lot, but my throat felt dry and scratchy.

Absently aware that I was having an anxiety attack, and most certainly not my first, I ended up on the porch with my knees to my chest, breathing rapidly but never getting enough air.

I subconsciously heard the front door open, but I couldn't even care to move and look at the person coming outside.

"Madelyn?" Hailey said my name, surprise and concern clear in her voice.

I opened my mouth to say hers, but after many failed attempts of speaking, I simply gave up, shaking even harder.

The next second, she was on the ground beside me, taking my hands into hers and squeezing them just to show she was there.

I really hate how much of a mess I am right now.

"It's okay, I understand." Hailey says at the words I was unable to speak.

I had techniques for this, I did, but I was entirely too overwhelmed to remember.

"Is there anything you typically do when this happens?" She asks, and I nod my head, but the action alone was dizzying as the overwhelming urge to pass out came down on me.

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