𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲 || 𝐭. 𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚

⤷𝟟𝟠: 𝕤𝕒𝕔𝕣𝕚𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕖

life sometimes loses its meaning.

very, very rarely, but it does.

it's happened to you, before; two years ago. the lightheaded feeling of nothingness... to say that it's hard to live through would be an understatement.

since back then, you regained it. you were able to regain the purpose—the meaning of the loss.

but this time? it was a little too different to compare.

instead of betrayal and anger, it was a sacrifice. instead of reality, it was virtual. and instead of broken friendships, it felt a lot more like a broken heart.

unfortunately, both types of loss had only one similarity: a world of pain.

your eyes met kageyama's. the same boy that it's always been.

it was a peaceful gaze for about, give or take, a millisecond. you held kageyama's gaze, sinking into his eyes.

but as soon as the millisecond passed, reality hit.

cold, harsh, despicable reality.

his body drooped forwards as a sudden cough overtook him.

it was blood. very, very realistic blood.

staring in shock, there was nothing you could do as kageyama fell into your arms. and the sword...oh god. zeke's sword struck kageyama straight through the heart from behind, resulting in blood pouring out of the wound like a waterfall.

very faintly, you could hear zeke let out a laugh from the side—but you couldn't care less about zeke, right now.

all that mattered was the boy in front of you.

kageyama held onto you. and for once, his grip was weak.

"y-y/n."

his voice seemed to wake the nothingness inside of you. at his voice, you found your own.

"no," you whispered. "no. no—no, no, no, no, no."

you could hear the panic lace into your voice as kageyama looked weaker and weaker.

you were now covered in blood. and a million questions ran through your head.

how many seconds has it been? is it possible for him to lose this much blood so soon? is it even possible for something virtual to seem so real? and most of all, why would he—

kageyama gave you a weak smile.

"i—i lose," he coughed, drawing up even more blood. "guess this..." he composed himself, "this is my end."

subconsciously, a tear fell from your eye. whether it was a real tear in this world or not, you didn't know.

the tear landed on kageyama's face.

"no. please, don't leave," your eyes watered.

kageyama looked almost amused. he laughed lightly—before that too broke into a cough. "i'm not actually dying, you do remember that, right?"

you ignored this. "but once you're gone, you can't come back, can you?"

he shook his head with the minimal strength he has left. "i'll be gone."

your heart hurt.

of course you knew this isn't actually death. of course you knew it was 'fake'.

but it still hurt. for some odd reason.

"promise me you'll be okay?" kageyama asked in a faint voice.

you nodded, unable to bring yourself to say anything else.